Just had a sleep deprived au idea of Constantine rambling about Gotham and mentioning how it's a cesspool of curses and magic races hidden and how there's three big monster Families who run everything.
The catch is that the three families are in fact the Waynes, the Bats, and the Malones.
No one knows that they're the same people, and Constantine was not aware that Batman is in the same room- and he is about to have a great time with his kids fucking with the league.
I love fics that are like "oh... you know--" *glances side to side furtively* "the Malones?" *shudders* "they're the worst of the worst. some say they aren't even human. blah blah blah. if there's any crime family you don't want to cross, it's the Malones. their influence is unparalleled. You'd be dead before you could feel the satisfaction of betrayal." meanwhile Matches is just Bruce Wayne in a fake mustache and glasses. Peak comedy. kissing you on the lips
Plot wise I think it is SO interesting, because the outsider pov of the Malones as a crime family can take so many routes of good and evil and what have you.
Like, I remember reading a short fic about Dick’s alter Malone and the betrayal his partners/coworkers felt because it was HIS alter that they were trying to take down and he had been playing them all along. 🙊
THAT is so good. That uncertainty of who you are really dealing with and believing you know who you are facing — that is such a good twist and I love that.
But outside of plot.
I honestly think it is THE funniest thing ever.
Cause the batfam are a crime family.
They are a legal crime family and an illegal crime family. But you’ll never guess which one. 🫵🏼
So I am rotating the batfamily, but not like, civilian or vigilante. I am slowly rotating them all having a Malone-sona of sorts that is their in to organized crime.
Like you can't tell me people wouldn't start noticing this family that the bats, the literal cryptids and monsters of Gotham, don't even touch and lets continue to operate despite taking the older crime families apart.
And to Gotham that screams power.
Alfred = Albert “Old Al” Malone
I wanna say that he doesn't go out as 'Old Al' often, but gives off Godfather sort of vibes. Usually sitting there with an old cane (that definitely has a sword, they're all dramatic like that lol) half in the dark with a cup of tea or other drink.
He gets to stretch his acting skills and honestly the kids definitely had a say in the persona. Old Al is something they all made together and they have fun implying so much fun shit.
Kate = Mary “Madam” Malone
She definitely gives off 'snap your spine over her knee if not for the fact it would get your blood all over her clothes' vibes. Stylized nails, hair up in fishtail braids or ponytails or whatever, looks like she could tear out ones throat and they'd thank her.
It's a running gag that she's in finances, even if no one in the underbelly believes it.
Bruce = “Matches” Malone
I mean, it's classic Matches (though most probably assume that Matches isn't his real name) who seems rather chill until someone breaks the rules. Gives off vibes that he doesn't usually get his own hands dirty but will do so to make a point, and enjoy doing it.
He sometimes uses Matches to check in on places he can't as a shadowy cryptid, and it's not like the lower income areas would fully trust Brucie Wayne.
Barbara = Madison “Maddie” Malone
Now let's be honest, Barbara enjoys messing with people, she enjoys knowing every little thing as Oracle, and she definitely does that as Maddie. The thing is, no one knows how she learns about things, other criminals search for a traitor, for a leak, for anything, and get nothing. Which is utterly terrifying. Because there has to be some sort of information network, there has to be. And somehow they're so good that they're indistinguishable to any others.
Dick = Micheal “Mikey” Malone
Honestly Dick uses this chance to get into a bunch of fights just for fun. Flirts a bit more freely but doesn't really have an interest in actually getting with someone. Just has funs and is known for throwing his own parties that usually end in free-for-all brawls.
He absolutely loves being able to have parties that are the opposite of galas he's usually dragged into.
Cass = Molly Malone
She's quiet and graceful, but she takes it to unnerving levels as Molly. Looks slim but carries guns on her at all time to better differentiate between Cassandra Wayne, Black Bat, and Molly Malone. Everyone knows if you need a weapon, guns, meelee, whatever, she's the one you go to. Gotham help you if you cross her though.
Jason = Peter “Petey” Malone
Where Molly Malone goes, everyone knows Petey will be there as well. Jason absolutely adores the time he gets to do so, it's his turn to be silent and dramatic. Everyone can recognize the jagged scar over his neck, they can recognize it from corpses the Bats have gotten their talons on.
Honestly he's delighted in being able to be Cass' enforcer of sorts and just have a good fight. Even if he complains about how making his Malone mute makes it where he can't quote Shakespeare like he wants to.
Steph = “Mia” Malone
Ah yes, the explosive Malone. The one who has more arson charges than Firefly. Or at least she would if she was caught, but the entire Underbelly knows it was her. Steph is living her best life being able to pull all sorts of pranks and crazy shit and takes several ideas from Harley.
Honestly she probably smells like gasoline or smoke all the time, and definitely put glitter in her hair. Maybe even has red hair as a Malone as well.
Tim = Alvin “Al” Malone
He still goes by Alvin Draper too, which results in half the underbelly thinking that Draper is his middle name. Honestly he's having the best time, everyone knows to come to him for forgeries and less than legal identities, which he loves to create. I mean just look at how many new identities he creates for himself alone.
He enjoys this type of thing, and hey, it's so easy to keep track of whose identity is fake when you're the one who made them. Plus it also lets him do good for those on the run for good reasons, a way to make sure people are safe.
Duke = Dennis “Denny” Malone
Everyone knows Denny was adopted, but y'know what, I bet they don't care. And you know Duke is utterly insane, like jump off a bridge to escape the cops and create the We are Robin gang insane. And he gets to play that up as Denny. He will put forth the most batshit ideas and actually pull them off.
I bet he uses his future-sight to cheat at different games and pool tables and all sorts of things, but no one can ever prove it. Because there is no proof, and the other people playing just has to deal with it.
Damian = “Mini M” Malone
The little baby of the family, who everyone knows the older Malones absolutely dote over. This is his chance to act like an actual child, just with a hint of art theft. Hey, it wasn't like they got it legally either, so it's free game, especially if they weren't taking proper care of the art or a pet.
He's just pleased to get to have even more pets, and that Goliath his demon dragon-bat gets to go on walkies.
Jarro = Jadan “Lil J” Malone
Now Jarro is delighted to have a third mech, and is even more delighted for people to believe Damian (or technically M jr) and him are twins. Gives off someone is going to die- of fun with Mini M, and honestly enjoys being able to use his natural telepathy to be a small horror movie child that knows too much.
Like will stare up at someone with wide eyes covered in blood and the others in Gotham's underbelly still aren't sure if the blood was his or someone elses. (it was neither)
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Honestly I might write a oneshot or something for the Cryptid Batfam focusing on just them as the Malones family.
Y'all I need help with something. Trying to write the Malones but like, from an outsiders' pov.
Y'know from other gothamites who have no clue they're the Waynes and the cryptid Bats (why would they suspect that? The things have wings and blood that disappears within hours and the Waynes are well, the Waynes)
I need ideas for their reputations, rumours about them, how other people see them, etc etc
