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Beau: Ah yes, the two genders *points at Caleb* “I no longer wish to be perceived” and *points at Molly* “I have to be the most fuckable person at the grocery store”

#critical role #the mighty nein #incorrect quotes #beauregard lionett #caleb widogast #mollymauk tealeaf #the mighty queue

‘ are you in love with me yet? ’

She glides past him, a vision in pink. Twirling around so the layers of pink chiffon float around her with every movement. She looks amazing. Everyone does. But Jester... Who isn't a little bit in love with Jester Lavorre?

Maybe it's his smart new outfit, the one she had chosen for him, but he was feeling just a little braver than usual.

Fjord steps up, doffs his hat and bows before her, offering Jester his free hand. "my lady" he begins, being every bit as charming as the heroes in the books she reads, because maybe for one night she should feel as though she's caught up in one. "would you do me the honour of accompanying me this evening?"

#the mighty queue

what the fuck taliesin?

#Critical Role #Talks Machina #Taliesin Jaffe #Travis Willingham #Brian Foster #Talks Machina After Dark #I know I've talked about this before but #I feel like you guys deserve to see this for yourselves #The Mighty Queue

Caduceus: if you bite it and you die, it’s poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it’s venomous

Fjord: what if it bites me and it dies?

Caleb: then you’re poisonous. Christ, Fjord, learn to listen

Jester: what if it bites itself and I die?

Beau: that’s voodoo

Nott: what if it bites me and someone else dies?

Caleb: that’s correlation, not causation

Jester: what if we bite each other and neither of us die?

Beau: that’s kinky

Caduceus: I give up

#critical role #the mighty nein #incorrect quotes #caleb widogast #nott the brave #beauregard lionett #jester lavorre #fjord tusktooth #caduceus clay #the mighty queue

Molly: Spellcasters hate this fact, but if you just stick your fingers in their mouth while they’re casting a spell with a verbal component, it’s literally more effective than a counter spell

Molly: this also works by pinning their hands against the wall when they’re trying to use somatic components

Molly: Basically, if you make out sloppy style while pressed against a wall, the spellcaster can’t do anything

Fjord:

Fjord: and might I ask how you discovered this?

Caleb, very red: *takes a step backward*

#critical role #the mighty nein #incorrect quotes #caleb widogast #fjord tusktooth #mollymauk tealeaf #widowmauk #not me pushing my Widowmauk propaganda #the mighty queue

Essek: Caleb and I are no longer dating.

Caleb: Essek, that’s a horrible way of telling people we’re married.

#the mighty nein #critical role #incorrect quotes #caleb widogast #essek thelyss #caleb x essek #shadowgast #the mighty queue

Caduceus: my parents had taught me to be nice first, because you can always be mean later. But once you’ve been mean to someone, they won’t believe the nice anymore. So be nice. Be nice, until it’s time to stop being nice. And then destroy them

The Nein:

Beau: Cad, what the FUCK

#I’m taking a great deal of pleasure making Cad say the most unhinged shit #follows by Beau saying #cad what the fuck #the mighty nein #critical role #incorrect quotes #beauregard lionett #caduceus clay #the mighty queue

Caduceus: being alive Is great because there are so many different vegetables you can sauté

Caduceus: but then there are also the horrors

#the mighty nein #critical role #incorrect quotes #caduceus clay #the mighty queue

#the mighty queue

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