09/03/19
We moved here nearly three years ago. We weren’t originally from this is city, so how were we to know it would make us both so miserable three years later? The apartment building I live in is horrible. It’s so small it’s almost impossible to decorate, there are people on drugs all over the place, there’s mold and asbestos all throughout the walls, and two months ago I saw a cochroach for the first time in my life. Since then, I’ve seen three more. I’ve been waiting two months for my landlord to actually do something about it, but he doesn’t seem willing let alone capable of helping treat this building or even picking up the phone to call pest control. I asked him how he is handling this pest situation and he can’t even give me a straight answer and tells me to “Go away.” There’s just no respect. I’m barely 25. I’ve been on the phone and emailing property standards and the City’s health department all day. I shouldn’t have to deal with this. I should be able to enjoy living on my own. I simply can’t make the best of this situation.
I go to counselling weekly, I’m on a mood stabilizer and antidepressant. I’m trying to learn to love the mundane life i have. But it’s difficult when you’re living in such poor circumstances. This is my fourth apartment. I want a yard. I want my own closet. I want a kitchen i have room to sit down in. I want my own front door. I just want to be happy in my own home. But that’s just not going to happen here and I can’t even afford to move.
This is what you always hear about, being “stuck-in-a-rut.”
This is the rut, and I have never been more stuck.