#thehairpin

[sevenintotwentyfour]

by Lili Loofbourow

[actionkati]

Two published articles in two days. We're gonna need some bigger doorways to fit my giant head!

[sailorcakestudies]

Awesome article on bisexuality on fating sites.

[featherproofbooks]

I was writing this basically for the girls I worked with at Rookie! That it’s also resonating with young dudes who write about rap, and blackness and the modern age and we’re getting outside the punk rock radical feminist cloister is…it’s all gravy.

Jessica Hopper, on her criticism

http://thehairpin.com/2015/05/rough-around-the-edges-an-interview-with-jessica-hopper

[allisonandcam]

Illustration for "Fun Palace" on The Hairpin

[againstnaturenyc]

"Wearing the Pants" Great interview by Sonya Abrego featured on The Hairpin. Photo by @michaelleviton. Read the rest at thehairpin.com #againstnaturenyc #thehairpin #sonyaabrego #wearingthepants #womeninasuit #bespoke #menswear #custom #suit #sexandsuits

[mauxc]

Self Care. Pep Talks. The Things We Do For Ourselves.

The Hairpin is doing a wonderful series about self-care. I've thought a lot about/lightly obsessed over grooming over the years, and generally strive to be emotionally kind to myself and try to help my friends do the same. But most of the time I make mental lists about where I'm falling short in life, and shame myself for not doing better. I don't think I've ever considered self-care in a holistic sense, how necessary it is to take care of ourselves not only physically--in grooming and in health--but emotionally, mentally, etc blah. This interview with Jodie Layne and Kara Haupt is worth checking out for tons of reasons, but Kara's description of her 45 Days of Pep Talks during an emotionally turbulent time just blew up my synapses. 

Because I love pep talks. I've been able to come through and give some friends some pep talks when they've really needed to be reminded of what they're capable of, and I've been lucky enough to have some friends that can do the same for me. Kara's project had her write out a daily pep talk for herself, and I really love the idea of taking something that can be such a crucial gift for a friend, and making it something you give yourself. Like the Jodie/Kara interview notes, we don't do that for ourselves. We shame and react to our weaknesses and efforts with disgust and feel as if everything else should come before our needs.

I haven't felt as happy as I want to be. I've felt unmoored, and I've been angry at what feels like my inability to take control of my situation and make things different.

Writing that feels terrifying.  I'm finally admitting it, and until now I haven't been able to. Maybe because it means I have work to do, and sitting back and letting things happen isn't enough.

I want to feel stronger. I want to feel in control--as much as anyone can. At least capable of controlling what I can, and managing the effects of what I can't.

SO. I think a pep talk is a good way to start.

Pep Talk #1.

In 2011, you realized you had gained some weight. A fair amount of weight. And it concentrated in your stomach, and it was noticeable on your face and upper arms, and it made you really unhappy and sad because you had been so lucky to have never had to worry about that. Out of everything, you were spared the weight worry, and that is a GIFT. You were upset enough about it to worry, and even get teary and emotional that one drunk time in Rhode Island. It was tied to a lot of other shit, and this went on for three more years. 

But in the past 6 months you've made a change. You're running regularly. Prioritizing fitness. Somehow it was a combo of friend pressure and reading seeing Ask Polly tell someone that sweating every day was so important for self care. You're eating better. Good food. Home-cooked, nourishing food. You haven't abandoned the mac and cheese because you're always going to love it and need it from time to time, but it's balanced by a lot of other good stuff. And maybe the drinking a little less is helping, too. 

You're doing good things for your body, and now people are noticing a bit. But you're doing it in a way where you have this whole new routine that makes it feel really good to take care of your body. You were never able to do that before now. Good for you. <3

[allisonandcam]

We illustrated a great piece about female friendship & jealousy for The Hairpin. Words by Fariha Roisin. Here: http://thehairpin.com/2014/10/let-me-love-you