Here's another angst prompt for you, should you choose to accept it. JC/NHS or JC/NMJ or similar. Someone convinces NHS/whoever that the way to test JCs love for them is to make him jealous and make him fight for a relationship harder, except that's not how JC works, he's all like 'I knew NHS couldn't really love me, he'll be happier with XX, I have no right to force him into an unhappy relationship' etc etc etc and just aaaaannnggsstt!
as usual, I’m not sure how well this fits the prompt, oops. But there’s Jiang Cheng, there’s a Nie, and there’s some jealousy as well!
Jiang Cheng left the room without a word, and headed out for a walk in the gardens of Carp Tower. He had seen enough.
It wasn’t a surprise as such that Nie Huaisang, a few cups of wine into the banquet, should start misbehaving. For someone who drank so much, he couldn’t handle alcohol very well, always making a spectacle of himself. Usually that meant crying over a minor problem with his sect, or about how much he missed his brother, but sometimes, like that night, he would get flirtatious instead.
Jiang Cheng, often a victim of that flirtatiousness, had more than once advised him to stop drinking in public. It was often a half-hearted scolding though, because he didn’t exactly dislike having Nie Huaisang’s attention like that, especially not now that Nie Huaisang, on occasion, had made overtures while sober as well. Jiang had started wondering how he was supposed to show that he didn’t dislike the idea, but hadn’t found out how yet.
Which was just as well. If that night had proven anything, it was that Nie Huaisang had never seen this as more than a game. And after seeing him shamelessly flirt with Lan Xichen all evening, pouting and batting his eyes like one of those dancers the late Jin Guangshan sometimes brought to conferences, Jiang Cheng felt stupid for ever thinking Nie Huaisang could have seen him as more than a temporary amusement.
Jiang Cheng hadn’t been walking for very long when he heard footsteps rushing behind him. He hated that even before turning around, he could recognise the person. His mother hadn’t been wrong, every time she’d told him he needed to harden himself against others. It really was weak of him to be so desperate for attention.
“What do you want, Nie zongzhu?” Jiang Cheng hissed, refusing to turn around.
He heard the footsteps stop a moment and a soft gasp, as if Nie Huaisang were surprised to have been noticed and recognised. An instant later, Nie Huaisang sauntered at his side, hidden behind a fan.
“Jiang-xiong, you left so suddenly, I became worried. Is there a problem?”
The tone of Nie Huaisang’s voice might have been innocent, but the way he peered at Jiang Cheng over the edge of his fan wasn’t. It was easy to forget, with the way he acted and how he never made anything of it, but Nie Huaisang was pretty good at reading people when he bothered. That he had been seen through made Jiang Cheng’s heart twist with shame.
“It was just too noisy in there, I needed some quiet,” he lied. Partly lied. Banquets held in Carp Tower really were annoying, and brought back unpleasant memories. He’d never have come again, if not for the chance to see Jin Ling. “I’m fine, you can go back and have your fun.”
Nie Huaisang stared at him a moment, then closed his fan and turned as if to leave.
“You’re right, I should enjoy myself while I can. Er-ge is so fun when he unwinds a little, isn’t he?”
Jiang Cheng huffed, refusing to comment on that. All Lans were the same to him, not one of them worth anyone’s time, yet always catching the attention of people around him. If Nie Huaisang wanted to have shitty tastes though, he was more than welcome to go after whoever he pleased.
Unbothered by his lack of reply, Nie Huaisang started walking back towards the buildings. He didn’t make it very far before he stopped again.
“Seriously? That’s how much you care?” he asked in a voice steadier than it ought to have been after how much he’d drunk.
Surprised by the chance, Jiang Cheng turned to look at him. Nie Huaisang was glaring at him, hands on his hips, a stern frown on his face. With such an expression, he looked a lot like his brother.
“I wasn’t aware I was supposed to care about anything,” Jiang Cheng dryly retorted. “Please, go back and have fun with Lan zongzhu.”
Nie Huaisang tilted his head, his eyes narrowing.
“Jiang-xiong, I just never know how to go about things with you,” he sighed, coming closer again. “You’re always making things more complicated than they need to be.”
“That’s rich, coming from you,” Jiang Cheng retorted, only for Nie Huaisang to tense and quickly hide again behind his fan. “I remember the kind of schemes you’d come up with when we were students. Now that was needlessly complicated.”
Nie Huaisang laughed awkwardly, and lowered his fan a little.
“Ah, yes, that. I was young, I needed to have fun. I still want to have fun. It’s just harder now. And you,” he stated, closing his fan to poke it at Jiang Cheng’s chest, “are a lot less cooperating than you used to be. Hence my previous statement: I never know how to go about things with you.”
“By the look of it, you don’t need me to have fun,” Jiang Cheng replied, batting away the fan. “Lan Xichen seems more than happy to provide you with all the amusement that you need, so go back to him and leave me alone.”
“Er-ge has been indulging me a lot tonight,” Nie Huaisang agreed, stepping closer still.
Jiang Cheng gritted his teeth.
Rationally, he knew that Lan Xichen hadn’t exactly flirted back. All he had done was reply to Nie Huaisang’s very silly remarks, laughed at his jokes, and tried to make sure the younger man ate a little between two cups of wine. As far as Jiang Cheng knew, Lan Xichen had never once given any indications that he thought of Nie Huaisang as anything but a second little brother, slightly more whiny and demanding that the first one, but a brother still.
Jiang Cheng wasn’t in a mindset to be rational, not about this.
Because he knew, also, that Lans weren’t exactly demonstrative about their feelings. He knew that Lan Xichen had been there for Nie Huaisang since the moment his brother died. He knew that it was to Lan Xichen (and Jin Guangyao, not that it mattered right then) that Nie Huaisang turned to whenever he encountered problems, even though Jiang Cheng had made it clear he was willing to give a hand as well.
He couldn’t even blame Nie Huaisang for this. Between the number one bachelor of their generation who lead a rich and powerful sect and was skilled in every domain, and the leader of a half ruined sect that was still desperately trying to get back on its feet, a man with so little to make himself appealing that he’d been judged less attractive than the son of a nobody… well, it wasn’t hard to see who Nie Huaisang would pick.
Nobody, given the choice between Jiang Cheng and literally anything else, had ever chosen Jiang Cheng. Even Wei Wuxian had chosen a life in exile and poverty rather than stay at his side, so why would Nie Huaisang be any different?
“Good for you,” Jiang Cheng hissed. “Invite me to the wedding I guess.”
He tried to leave, but Nie Huaisang quickly grabbed his arm with unexpected strength to stop him.
“Jiang-xion, wait! I swear you’re so… can’t you react normally sometimes?”
“Apparently not!” Jiang Cheng spat. “What’s a normal reaction supposed to be?”
“I don’t know,” Nie Huaisang whined, twisting and turning his closed fan in his free hand. “Something? Anything? Maybe saying ‘I’m better than him’ or ‘I won’t lose you to him’ or something like this? Make an effort, Jiang Cheng, I can’t keep carrying this courtship all on my own!”
Jiang Cheng blinked a few times, startled by that unexpected reasoning.
“I’d be an idiot to think I’m better than Lan-fucking-Xichen,” he numbly pointed out. “And what do you mean by courtship? Who’s courting who here?”
He hadn’t realised that it was something so serious between Lan Xichen and Nie Huaisang, but maybe his own stupid infatuation had forced them to make it more obvious so he’d stop mooning over Nie Huaisang like a lovesick puppy.
Nie Huaisang who tensed again, and threw him a worried look.
“I thought… Jiang-xiong… Jiang zongzhu, did I misread the situation?” he asked, sounding oddly fragile. “I thought we were courting? Isn’t it… I thought you were just a little shy about it,” he whispered, dropping his gaze. “That’s why I… I just wanted to spur you on, I didn’t think… This is so embarrassing. I’m sorry, Jiang zongzhu. I’ll stop pestering you then.”
True to his word, he released Jiang Cheng’s arm, looking more pitiful with every passing moment.
“You never said you wanted a courtship,” Jiang Cheng snapped, making Nie Huaisang flinch.
“I thought it was obvious?” he replied with a nervous laugh. “Like I said, it’s fine, I’ll stop…”
“How was I supposed to guess?” Jiang Cheng cut him. “You’re supposed to ask these things, you idiot.”
Flinching again, Nie Huaisang met his eyes, looking as if he might cry, and opened his fan once more. He didn’t say anything for a while, just observing Jiang Cheng carefully until he seemed to reach a conclusion and lowered his fan again.
“Jiang-xiong, you… is that you saying that you wouldn’t be opposed if I just asked?”
“Don’t say it like it’s an outrageous thing to want! It’s normal to ask!”
Nie Huaisang’s eyes went wide, before he burst out laughing.
“Jiang-xiong, only you would need it spelled out when I’ve been so obvious about it! Even Lan Xichen noticed, and he wouldn’t notice a murder happening right under his nose, so that’s saying something.”
That seemed like an oddly specific remark, Jiang Cheng thought, before deciding he didn’t want to ask about that when there were more important matters at hand.
“So you do want a courtship,” Jiang Cheng insisted.
“Yes.”
“With me?”
“Yes, with you!” Nie Huaisang laughed. “Who else? Lan Xichen? No thanks. I’m a Nie, I can’t imagine being with someone who never took the time to develop a personality. So, Jiang Cheng, let me ask you properly: would you entertain the idea of a courtship between the two of us?”
Jiang Cheng nodded, the words stuck in his throat. It seemed almost too good to be true, that anyone would choose him, that Nie Huaisang of all people would choose him, but he wasn’t about to question his luck.
“Good, excellent, we’re finally getting somewhere,” Nie Huaisang said, still half laughing, his cheeks flushed beautifully. “I guess just saying things isn’t a bad method either, after all. Now, Jiang Cheng, how about you kiss me?”
Jiang Cheng spluttered and grumbled at the shameless request, but quickly obeyed anyway.
thehobbitbadger replied to your post: that fucking exit poll better not be right
i saw it and just immediately closed guardian’s page in the hope that it’s wrong. but i fear it’s maybe a little bit wrong, but the tories probably still won…
of course they fucking did, because this country is a nightmare
So apparently Valvasor was the first person to describe vampires in print? observer. com/2017/10/history-of-vampires-johann-weichard-valvasor/
Yes! And Jure Grando is indeed considered to have been the earliest reported case of vampirism that we know of(you could say that he’s the prototype of “vampires” as we know them through popular culture today). He lived in the part of Istria that is now part of Croatia but yeah, I totally forgot it was Valvasor who described it!
Ok, here's a prompt for you, should you choose to accept it, as a fellow angst connoisseur. I've been reading Impenetrable Walls by Gina3 which is a concubine AU, except so far Wei Ying has been too dumb to understand that his job as a concubine is to f*ck, but all the servants around him keep telling him to make sure Lan Wangji is happy or it's all their lives at stake. 1/2
2/2 Anyway, the prompt is this: imagine this scenario but with Xisang or Xiyao. Xichen is the emperor, he has spent his whole life being venerated and served and then he is gifted Huaisang/Meng Yao as a concubine and they both know they have no choice but to make the emperor happy no matter what. Xichen is convinced he's in a happy relationship and unaware that he has in fact been raping his partner this whole time, because there is no possible consent in this situation. The angst! Just imagine
Yes hi hello I, uh. Took this and ran with it, even though I have prompts left from the last ask meme and a bunch of fics that I should be updating and also actual work to do. But like. Fuck yeah. This is exactly the sort of awful, shitty, cruel settings that I love writing so bless you for sending me this.
It was a rare and pleasant day for His Highness when Nie Mingjue could take a break from the war on the frontier and visit the palace. On those too rare occasions, His Highness always allowed himself a break from protocole and tradition and, for a few hours, simply became Lan Xichen again. He had so few friends left since rising to power, but Nie Mingjue had never faltered once, never once treated him as a living divinity as others did, knowing it was not what Lan Xichen wanted from their friendship. It must have been a family trait.
As he walked toward his private quarters, Lan Xichen smiled to himself, certain that his dear little bird must be so happy to see his brother again after many months. Nie Huaisang always smiled so brightly after those rare visits, while teasing Lan Xichen with a renewed insolence that always deligthed him. It would be so nice to have his two closest, most beloved people with him at once, however briefly, and Lan Xichen couldn't wait to surprise them. He shouldn't not have been free for them until a little while longer, but on a whim he had cancelled a council. There was little point in being emperor if he could not get away with something selfish here and there.
As he entered the little house he'd ordered to be built for Nie Huaisang, Lan Xichen heard his little bird chatting with his brother and stopped for a moment, suddenly feeling guilty for taking away the siblings' precious chance for a private discussion. Although Nie Huaisang rarely complained about anything, Lan Xichen knew that his little bird missed home dearly sometimes. No amount of presents and coddling could change that, and while the two of them were so happy together, a lover simply wasn't a brother.
As he hesitated though, Lan Xichen quickly noticed that something appeared to be off with his little bird. His voice, usually so soft and full of laughter, was uncharacteristically dry as he chatted with his brother.
“With Wen Xu dead, that bastard Wen Ruohan won't manage much longer,” he heard his little bird say, the violence of the words half shocking Lan Xichen. “His first born was a good general, whereas the second one... Is Wen Zhuliu still serving them?”
“For now,” Nie Mingjue replied flatly, apparently undisturbed to hear his delicate little brother comment on war affairs. “We're working on turning him. Lord Jiang's wife knew him when he was young, so we're having her make offers to take him in if he switches sides. You were right though, he is stupidly loyal.”
“You probably won't get him,” Nie Huiasang agreed, “but Wen Ruohan will hear about those offers and he won't trust him as much... and that means he'll have to rely on his idiotic second son instead. If Wen Chao is put in charge of their southern army, the war is as good as won for us. Can you imagine? Peace again!”
“But at what cost?”
A silence fell between the brothers. Out of curiosity, Lan Xichen came closer to get a look at them without being seen himself. An emperor ought not to have hidden, least of all inside his own palace, his own home, but something about that conversation was making him increasingly uncomfortable.
When they were alone, Nie Huaisang never wanted to talk about politics, pouting and complaining that he never understood anything of it. To hear him give his opinion about the border wars with such certainty was... unsettling.
And so he looked at his little bird and his dearest friend, sitting together at a table. Nie Mingjue was in a more comfortable position than he usually allowed himself in presence of the emperor, though there was a clear tension to his shoulders. As for Nie Huaisang, although he was wearing the same delicate and colourful robes as always while his hair was done up in an elegant bun decorated with elaborate pins, he seemed like a stranger, sitting not like the poised boy Lan Xichen knew and adored, but instead with no more grace than a soldier resting after a battle.
“Peace always comes at a price,” Nie Huaisang pointed out, rolling his eyes. “This one isn't so bad.”
“Are you going to tell me you're happy with your life?” Nie Mingjue scoffed. “That you're satisfied with being the emperor's whore?”
“Of course not,” Nie Huaisang sighed with a grimace. “Still, to defeat the Wens... it's not such a big price to pay. I don't blame father. He saw his chance to finally make me be useful to the clan, how could he not have taken it?”
A twisted, piercing cold seized Lan Xichen, making it near impossible to breathe. He had wanted to come out of his hiding place and order Nie Mingjue out of their home at hearing him call his own brother a whore, only to feel slapped in the face at his little bird's response.
It made no sense. Nie Huaisang was happy. Of course he was happy. Lan Xichen made sure to give him everything he could ever want, robes of expensive silk, beautiful fans painted by the greatest masters, all his favourite dishes served daily... he had even started construction on an aviary for him, so he could gift him rare and exotic birds. Nie Huaisang was happy. He said so often, made it clear through his actions, always enjoying seducing Lan Xichen as soon as they could be alone.
They were happy and in love.
They had been happy and in love since the first time they had laid eyes on each other at a banquet and Nie Huaisang, not realising who was in front of him, had chatting with him and teased him over wearing badly coordinated robes. By some great luck, Nie Huaisang had been sent to work in the imperial palace soon after and Lan Xichen had not lost a moment in pursuing that chance of friendship. It had soon turned into something more intimate, with Nie Huaisang being officially named his concubine so there could be no accusations of impropriety.
“I'm going to take you back home someday,” Nie Mingjue grunted. “The day father dies, I'll ask to have you back, I swear.”
“Don't be stupid,” Nie Huaisang retorted. “You think His Highness will let me go? I'm stuck here for life, or until someone else finds him a prettier boy to play with. And that's impossible, we both know I am, and by far, the prettiest boy in the entire country. Possibly the world even. Ah, it's a curse to be so beautiful.”
“Huaisang!”
Something shifted in Nie Huaisang's eyes. He slumped on the table, reaching out to take his brother's hand and holding it tight.
“I swear it's not so bad,” he sighed. “He's nice. He's doing his best to be nice. Please don't worry about me, and don't... don't do anything reckless on my behalf. I chose this. I agreed to this. He asked me if I wanted to be his concubine, and I said yes.”
“Could you have said no?”
Instead of answer Nie Huaisang laughed in such a broken way that Lan Xichen felt nauseous. Of course his little bird could have denied that request. Lan Xichen had even told him so when he had asked for this, reminded him that even his friendship was enough to make him happy.
Nie Huaisang could have said no.
Nie Huaisang should have said no.
“Can you imagine what father would have said?” Lan Xichen heard his little bird say in a bitter voice that no longer sounded like his. “MingMing, we needed His Highness's support. We have it. There's nothing more to be said about this, so let's drop that subject. I'm... I'm really not so bad off in here, just a little lonely. I hope when the war is won, you can come more often. You're my only link to the outside world, so do your job. Give me news. How are the Jiang kids? And Wei Wuxian?”
“Lord Jiang gave him a command at last,” Nie Mingjue announced. “And the young Lady Jiang is to be married to young Lord Jin after all. The ceremony will be held in three months.”
Immediately, Nie Huaisang sat up straighter and smiled so brightly that it rivalled the sun.
“Really? Oh, that's so great!” He exclaimed, half laughing. “They'll be perfect for each other, I'm so glad it worked out after all! Tell me what happened?”
Seeing him so happy for the friends he often swore he did not miss was the last drop for Lan Xichen. It was obvious, now, how insincere his little bird's smiles had been when directed at him, how fake his joy, how forced his laughs. And so, while Nie Mingjue told his brother about a happy couple figuring out their path to happiness, Lan Xichen mourned the loss of his own and quietly retreated from this little house where, for the last three years, he had been fed lie after lie.
He had freed his afternoon for the purpose of his two dear friends' company, but it would be easy to find some task or other that needed his attention. An emperor's work was never done.
fahqu replied to your post: [[MOR] the older I get the more apparent it...
there’s nothing childish about knowing what you don’t want. that “you’ll change your mind later” is a load of crap
It is a huge steaming pile of crap, yes, and I wish more people understood that. I’ve known what I want- and what I don’t want- for a very long time and being secure in that ought to be respected.
thehobbitbadger replied to your post: [[MOR] the older I get the more apparent it...
I’m aro-ace and am definitely never getting married or having kids. But even among my allosexual friends most of them don’t want kids and I’m not sure any of them will ever get married. It might feel isolating if everyone around you seems to be doing all the traditional grown up stuff, but I think it helps to remember that actually fewer and fewer people are choosing to have kids or to get married so you’re not weird for those decisions.
See, I know that on a rational level, but I think it feels different at 31 with a long-term partner and a mortgage, even though it isn’t- the expectations on me, right now, in that context, are that the obvious next steps are marriage and babies, because TICK TOCK TICK TOCK THE BIOLOGICAL CLOCK IS RUNNING DOWN!!! Which, uh, I think mine broke, because I feel no sense of urgency or even mild interest. It just gets on my nerves that I’m constantly made to feel as though I should care.
thehobbitbadger replied to your post: [[MOR] fahqu replied to your post: ...
That does sound really annoying. Have you considered getting a kitten and claiming that as your baby? Or possibly a baby bat :P And then if your relatives keep badgering you, you can just keep getting more and more kittens.
That is exactly the plan tbh- now that I’m not living in a tiny rented flat I can have as many pets as we can responsibly own and if people keep bothering me then I’ll just have to become the most irritating cat mother they’ve ever met.
