#themonauralobserver

[speremint]

So after hearing so much good about Brimstone and Roses from both you and others, I decided to read all of it today! AND OMG IT WAS GREAT! It felt so good to see LGBTQ+ representation immediately from the first episode and the characters were so varied. Also the art style is so cool??

tl;dr Brimstone and Roses is amazing and so are you. Looking forward to season 2! 💖

AH THANK YOU SO MUCH! I’m so glad you enjoyed, it means a lot and thank you for giving it a chance!!

[deafgaming]

Wait, have you been able to find a mole cricket in animal crossing?? Cause you can only find them by sound, which honestly sucks!

My partner is hearing, so when I was tarantula hunting on a mystery island, I had him listen for me. 10/10 only way to do it lol

[sancirc]

Hi! I was reading your comic on Tapas a couple of years ago and now I decided to finally catch up, but I couldn’t find it! After searching for a bit I found the website so I’m calm now, but why is it no longer on Tapas? (I would also like to thank you for making the Sanity Circus. It’s great!)

Thanks for sticking with it!!

Basically the deal is it got accepted into Hiveworks, which is an online publisher. So it wouldn’t be cool to have it uploaded somewhere else.

[themonauralobserver]

my blog have taken a weird turn

[themonauralobserver]

Satisfaction

Setting: Now, in my room, in my armchair.

I just sit here and think that if someone would ask me to a bar, my only hesitation before my answer would be over the politest way to turn them down. Cause, you know, this is a really comfy armchair. It’s so calming to just sit here for HOURS reading books, or be on my computer, or watch shows, or listen to music, etc. 

And bars are loud, and full of people, and loud. 

…I sound so unsocial. That’s why I have you, Internet. You won’t judge me (too much).

So if someone asks me about finding a bar, I would probably say that would I rather be home alone and build a pillow fort, but that they are allowed join if they would like. 

Sudden grownup realisation: Actually, building a pillow fort doesn’t sound so bad. But then I would have to leave my armchair, so it will have to wait.

…It’s a really comfy armchair.

PS: Please take into account that I was tired and in a comfy armchair while writing this. It’s a dangerous combination.

/The Monaural Observer

[themonauralobserver]

Question

Setting: Two years ago, in an auditorium, filled with 700 students, 8 politicians, a TV crew with cameras, and me.

I’m uncomfortable, as I always am in a crowd. There’s always some students who talk with their friends. It’s difficult to concentrate with the extra noise, but I do my best to listen anyway. After a while it quiets down, and the only ones still talking are the politicians, discussing important issues, some which catch my interest.

They stop talking for a moment. The host ask all the students if anyone have any questions for the politicians.

Silence. More silence. Painfully awkward silence.

After thirty seconds of eternity a hand is finally in the air. About time too. Unfortunately, the hand belongs to me.

I can’t stress enough how much I dislike to take the initiative in a group, and even worse, in a room with 700 students. I really, really, REALLY, don’t like it. Yet here I am, walking past seats, toward one of the lanes and a TV crew member. Ok, the only reason I’m doing this is to know the answer to my question. Don’t panic. Stay calm. Or at least look calm. I mean, it’s only a terrifying social nightmare becoming painstakingly true. How bad can it be?

I’m given a mic, and I wait. I was in the far back, so I can see EVERYONE looking at me.

The host give me a go-ahead-nod and I start. I half-stammer out my question. One of them ask me to clarify. My throat is quickly going dry. I can’t speak for long. I collect myself a bit, and this time I speak loud and clear in a calm manner so everyone can hear it. While holding speeches (or similar things) I’ve learned to ignore the stress for a moment and so I can speak seemingly without problem. The problem comes afterwards instead.

They thank me and I go back to my seat while they discuss the question. The moment I sit down the stress vanish. The exhaustion kicks in, my concentration is rapidly decreasing. I hold on long enough to hear the answer to my question. My hands are shaking, all I hear is noise, and my vision can’t fully focus. One of my teachers sitting beside me nudge my arm to get my attention and says something. I can’t hear it, but she seems to be saying ‘well done’. I say ‘thanks’. My concentration is now pretty much gone, so I just sit back.

Despite all this, I can’t help but have a big, goofy, mad grin on my face. Please don’t let anyone look at me now, or they will think I’m a maniac. I challenged myself to do something new, and so I’m pretty pleased with myself. And now the shaking is gone. Yay!

In short: I’m glad I did it, but it was terrifying and I will probably never do it again.

  /The Monaural Observer

[themonauralobserver]

Deafish

Setting: A gymnastic hall, lots of classmates, I’m four.

I’m with my friend G and doing something fun since it’s PE. G start screaming. He’s not hurt in any way, so I think he just wanted to see how loud he could scream. I think it’s too loud.

‘Ouch! G, stop it, it hurts in my ear. What if I damage my hearing?!’

Ha!

By some strange, odd, peculiar incident this just happened to be the day my parents told me some special news after school. Guess what it was?

‘MO, you are deaf in your left ear.’

Of course my four-year-old brain then goes into overdrive and comes up with the only answer it think fits. I think to myself; ‘Oh my gosh! It was G’s fault!’

And so G learned about my hearing, by me throwing a tantrum about how it was his fault.

Afterwards I’ve learned that there are probably better ways to tell people that you have single sided deafness.

PS: Curiously, despite me being me, G is still one of my best friends.

/The Monaural Observer

[themonauralobserver]

Answer

Setting: Three Years ago, at a psychiatrist.

My parents are beside me. We are about to get the answers we have waited a few months for. After continued problems in class we decided to see if I have ADD (which I do have).

*Insert serious mode* the Psychiatrist begins:

‘After some reviewing of the tests and interviews, we agreed that although MO (yours truly) do have ADD, it is not the major issue.’

Ok…

‘We have reached the conclusion that MO… have Asperger’s Syndrome.’

Frankly, I’m stunned. I didn’t expect…well… THIS. I take a moment to just take it in. I look toward my parents. They are just nodding like that was their theory all along, which it was. They just didn’t tell me about it. I look at the Psychiatrist and start laughing a little.

‘Sorry,’ I say. ‘It’s just… my first thought was of the movie, Simple Simon.’

Everyone has a different reaction toward this kind of news. Some feel sad, happy or angry. Some just accept it or deny it. Some, like me, think about some Swedish movie they haven’t even seen (and still haven’t).

To me, Asperger’s was a relief and a comfort. It gave me a reason why I was different, and then it said to my face: ‘and that’s ok’. It helped me understand myself, but most of all, it helped others understand me. And THAT… is all I ever wanted (give or take some other things).

/The Monaural Observer