The Monaural Observer @themonauralobserver - Tumblr Blog

#He failed of course #He speaks of this event fondly as his very short lived pyromania career

My Grandpa used his freebie, when he was five, to try and set fire to a fire station

shockissheep

Everyone has Cave Story, dipshit. It came free with your fucking computer

Download Cave Story (Doukutsu Monogatari) in over a dozen different languages, and over half a dozen different platforms.

#cave story #Easily one of my favourite games #Have no clue how many times I've replayed it

I've played it on Wii, my laptop, 3DS (3D and +), PSP, Switch, Raspberry Pi, and I even had it on a USB, so I could play on the school computers, in high school

One time when I was 9 my dad had me take a MENSA IQ test and I bombed it obviously, but he wouldn't let me try again so when I was 17 and had my own private internet access I took the same test over and over until I figured out how the questions worked and then practiced every IQ test I could find until I got 120-160 on all of them but by the time I really nailed it I'd found all kinds of studies proving that IQ tests were bullshit and I'm pretty sure there's a lesson to be learned there somewhere

Guess who got a passing grade at performing arbitrary and meaningless puzzles for the approval of a bunch of elitist borderline eugenicists, something that is normal to want and possible to ac

#IQ test are stupid #But in lack of being good at other things my brain wants the seratonin from being called clever #I am hiding in a glass house

I... I feel so called out, how dare you

nocylipcowa

everyone living in EU - please support the citizens initiative for safe and accessible abortion!!

nixie-dantes-belvedere

If I may, I'll use this as an opportunity to also share this EU citizens' initiative to ban the conversion therapy

Give your support !

prideknights

I do not request reblogs often, but reblog this no matter where you are from so people from the EU can see and sign this. Please. Let's make a difference. Thank you! ⚔️🌈

I'm not saying I'd do it all the time; I'm just saying if someone sends me unsolicited medical advice, I should be allowed to hunt them for sport. As a little treat.

My Roman Empire is that diseases DON'T have personified physical manifestations. Why do they gotta hide in my body like a coward? Let me hunt THEM for sport. Let me face the personification of my asthmatic lungs in the Colosseum. I wanna hear the roar from the crowd as I slay them in glorious battle, free my body of its eternal struggle, and then point my sword at Covid in the stands.

"You're next."

Woke up from my migraine attack to find Holly Mop spooning ner giant Nathan plushie and watching me with concern:

When it became evident I was no longer in mass amounts of pain, she let out a huge sigh and fell asleep:

Baby 🥺

Honestly, you are living the found family trope with Holly Mop and it's making me tear up. You are so sweet to each other.

lgbt-tiktoks

https://linktr.ee/myelasticheart

Linktree. Make your link do more.

maeples

[Video descriptoin: a TikTok by @myelasticheart, showing the user talking to the camera. When they talk about the limits on savings, text appears on the screen that says: "For married couples the limit is $3,000. average rent in the US is $1,098. a motorized wheelchair is $600-$3,000+. a car repair costs $400-$900".]

tricky-pockets

this is huge?! Holy shit you guys.

it's not all over the news, but here is an article I found:

Sanders co-leads senators introducing Supplemental Security Income Restoration Act

I am going to gather up all my spoons tomorrow morning and call my reps.

kimchicutie-deactivated20180618

I don't live in the US, but I can still show this to others. Please boost this if you can!

theforcekeepers

DO NOT DO THIS.

This makes me so angry.

If you work in a movie theater and you do this I have no respect for you.

My younger brother is Type 1 Diabetic.

When we go to a movie theater, we always get him diet soda. If he were to get regular when we asked for diet, we would not give him the insulin he would need for it. If that happens, his blood sugar level could go so high he could go into a coma, go blind, or even die.

If somebody gave him regular soda instead of diet without telling us, that person could be responsible for a nine-year-old being killed or blinded.

Just thinking about that makes me so angry. I get scared every time we take him to a movie in case the people working there saw this picture and decide to do the same thing.

Please signal boost this so people know.

wreckedupbarnes

This also applies to baristas

Fun story about the baristas doing this kind of shit.

I am very sensitive to lactose, not Lactose intolerant but because of stomach ulcers that are still healing. A couple years ago I went to Starbucks right after my classes with some friends and asked for a green tea latte with soy milk. The barista, for some reason out of malice and/or hate for her life so she took it out on me, gave me whole milk in my latte.

5 minutes after my first sip of latte, my stomach cramped BAD. Not the “Oh! time to poop!” kind of cramp but it felt like someone had stabbed me with a knife and twisted it. Now I’ve had this happen before so I knew the cause of it. I went up to the barista clutching my gut screaming at her that she put dairy in my latte rather than soy LIKE I REQUESTED. She denied it and called me a “pretentious white girl for wanting soy”and so my friends got the manager. I had to explain that I had stomach ulcers that were still healing and if I were to go to the hospital for this incident, they would be responsible for it.

Manager flipped his shit and the barista was terrified out of her mind. Pretty sure both thought i was gonna sue. Manager actually fired her on the spot because of the negligence. My friends managed to get me home in one piece while I stayed home for 3 days in absolute agony and missed my midterm.

So remember kiddies, if someone is asking for Diet or “Skinny” or “soy” or anything that is not regular, give them what they requested because it may not be them being healthy, but a dietary need that can possibly be life or death

housebuiltbyghosts-deactivated2

also if they ARE trying to be healthy you should give it to them to!! Its not your decision to police or question others food choices!!!

also im lactose intolerant AND ive had stomach infections/ulcers so i feel this.

cartoonkatelyn

I have Celiac Disease, so I’m very gluten intolerant. When I go out to eat at restaurants a lot of people just assume that I asked for my food gluten free because of the gluten free diet fad (which is usually a bullshit diet btw).

Last month I went out to dinner with a friend at an italian restaurant that had a small gluten free menu. I had been there once before and had their gluten free pasta and it was great! I think one of the managers had been there and was super helpful when taking my order to make sure that everything was gluten free for me. When I ordered the gluten free pasta again this time though, the waitress who took my order all but rolled her eyes at me. I didn’t think much of it at the time, because the restaurant was so accommodating before, I just assumed it would be the same this time.

But sure enough, they brought out my pasta, I ate it, and about an hour later I had extreme stomach pains and was throwing up (in a movie theater no less).

Barfing and agonizing pain aside, eating gluten when you have celiac causes a lot of internal damage that’s hard to notice. The biggest thing is that it damages your intestines, preventing your body from absorbing nutrients properly, which can take months to heal.

So PLEASE, if you work at a restaurant or anything with food and someone asks for something a certain way, please listen to them and don’t just disregard someone’s order. It’s not funny and it can have serious consequences.

somethingnottooclever

I will reblog this with every single story about someone getting sick because of an asshole giving them the opposite of what they ordered until it sinks in for everyone.

sailornightfury

Recently on the news a 16 year old boy with a dairy allergy had gone to eat at IHOP with his family. The specifically asked if they could make dairy free pancakes and they said yes. Not too long after he had a reaction and was rushed to the hospital. This kid died because the was dairy in his pancakes that they asked for no dairy. His epi pen that his mother had wasn’t enough to help him. I know working in fast food or any job that’s serves food and beverage sucks but not as much as causing someone to get sick over negligence.

obstinate-nocturna

My youngest cousin – who is now five, he just started kindergarten – has Celiac’s disease. You would not BELEIVE the amount of times I’ve heard my aunt say she’s ordered something gluten free, only to watch the waiter or waitress’s eyes go huge when she gives it to my cousin – my cousin with the medical id band on his tiny five year old wrist proclaiming I HAVE CELIACS and have to take it back. Shit like this could kill my cousin. Knock it the fuck off.

iopele

I cannot tolerate caffeine–it makes me have chest pain and a racing pulse, and also gives me horrible body pain, so I always ask for decaf if I order coffee when I’m out, and doublecheck with the waiter/ress when they bring it. but instead of saying “is this decaf like I asked for?” I always say “oh, did I remember to order decaf?” I shouldn’t have to act like I’m the forgetful one (because I know damn well I asked for decaf) but it seems to work better than implying that they screwed up when I take the blame on myself like that. and if there’s any hesitation when they answer, I tell them, “if there’s any doubt, please get another one, or just give me water–if this is regular, it’ll mess up my heart” and lots of times when I say that, they look alarmed and go change it or get another one.

but I shouldn’t HAVE to share my personal medical history with strangers just to get my order right! no one should! how is it their business? it makes me really uncomfortable to have to do that. JUST GIVE PEOPLE WHAT THEY ORDER!

minnigem

I’ve reblogged this maaaany times before but there’s a few new stories on here so i’m doing it again.

cut this shit out

willowfae82

don’t be that kind of asshole.

untapdtreasure

As a diabetic, this would make me so beyond angry. Skinny doesn’t mean they don’t have a life threatening illness. Skinny doesn’t mean they can process sugar the way you do. People that do this are the worst kinds of people. DO NOT DO THIS!

forgetsuperman

Me and my family went to a restaurant a few years back and one of the dishes we ordered was made with wine vinegar, which I am allergic to, so we asked the waiter to skip it, and he said sure, no problem, that’s fine. So my food gets to the table, and I start eating and then my throat closes and I can’t breathe and then I start coughing and throwing up right there in the middle of the restaurant and it was very fortunate that I was with my family and they knew what was happening to me. I had to be rushed to the hospital, and admitted, and I came damn near close to having my throat cut open so I could breathe through a whole on my neck. Because they put wine vinegar in my food when I explicitly told them not to, because they were assholes, and I could have died. They probably didn’t mean to hurt me but they did. I missed class, and work, and, again, I COULD HAVE DIED.

cowthropologist

i have cyclic vomiting syndrome and can’t tolerate dairy or red meat. violating my dietary restrictions triggers an acute episode, and i have to be hospitalized and given iv saline, ativan, and anti-emetics to stop the (extremely painful and incapacitating) vomiting. if somebody put regular milk instead of soy milk in my latte and i didn’t notice the taste immediately, i could wind up in the er and then spend several days in bed recovering, eating nothing but saltines and dry toast and clear liquids until my body was able to tolerate food again, unable to work or go out or do anything besides rest. whenever i go to starbucks, i WATCH them make my drink. cvs episodes are horrible and i hate them, and i can prevent them if i do everything right, but that means my damn barista has to cooperate. if somebody decided i was a stuck up white girl and gave me whole milk instead of soy they could put me in the hospital and cost me days of income. give ppl the food they fuckin order. it’s not that hard.

voltspice

Reblogging because it’s so important. I’m “lucky” I don’t have any food allergies or intolerence, but it makes me mad when people take them not seriously, think you are picky or just following a “white girl diet fad”.

90% of people don’t take my cats and dog allergies seriously when I tell them I’m allergic and wondering if a cat or a dog is present at X place. They think it’s just watery eyes. Nope. Well yeah, watery and itchy eyes, but I start wo wheeze and have trouble breathing. They don’t give epi-pen for those (anyway you have to go to the hospital after) just inhaler. It’s no miracle, specially if I didn’t take other meds before.

When people tell you about their allergies or restriction, trust them!

40yodater

Reblogging for all the stories here because this is sooo important!

I have a severe allergy to gluten and relate to MANY of the stories above. My daughter has a severe allergy to milk fat, and I have had to hold her hair many times while she vomits on the side of the road because we couldn’t even make it home from the “accidental” whole milk instead of skim.

greenteamoon

I’m super lactose intolerant so accidental milk is always fun. Severe diarrhea, stomach cramps, bloating, and gas like you wouldn’t believe. Better than death you might say but, I have other medical conditions, so that diarrhea could lead to vomiting(it’s so bad the vomit comes out my mouth AND nose) and dehydration that in turn becomes low cortisol and adrenal crisis. A bitchy barista can land me in the hospital with an intramuscular shot and saline iv. Hun, it takes no time to listen and follow my order. It takes me at least 24 hours to get out of the hospital. Be nice.

cleverclovers

I’m allergic to pork. Legit allergic. I can’t count how many times I’ve had to ask it off my food only to receive it with bacon or ham or something on it.

Please respect peoples food requests. It costs 0.00$ to not be a dick.

prismatic-bell

I actually have customers who say they’ll only eat at my restaurant when I’m there, because they know I require all policy to be followed, as in “I will kick you the fuck off your shift if you skimp,” if someone says the words “I have an allergy.” I developed our allergy policies, for that matter, because what we had in place before was “I guess you shouldn’t change your gloves … . ?” On my shifts your gloves get changed, that line gets wiped down with a new cloth, paper under EVERY ITEM for the person with the allergy, bag their food separately to prevent contact. If there’s a risk of cross-contamination with an allergen, like tomatoes in the guac because stuff spills when you’re moving as fast as we do, I’ll open a new bag of food. I learned the ingredients in every item we serve so I could advise people on hidden allergens (e.g., there’s a small amount of wheat in our beef as a thickener; we fry with safflower oil). We have a grease pencil to mark special builds and I use it liberally on allergy orders. If all of this sounds like overkill, you’ve never watched a child suffer from anaphylaxis. I don’t play around.

Like, I bitch about my job a lot, but food allergies and special needs are not something I will ever bitch about. Even if you’re a complete asshole I won’t risk contaminating your food. (Although people with allergies seem to be way nicer than the general population, I gotta say.) Don’t do it. If someone’s a petty asshole to you, give them too much ice in their drink. Don’t play with their health.

tired-philosopher

DO NOT FUCKING SCROLL PAST THIS P L E A S E

iambloggingthat

Reblogging this again because it is important. Doing the right thing has no cost but doing the wrong thing can cost a person’s life. Don’t be a dick, give the person what they ordered

blueberryymacadamia

yes, finally this is on my dash

toothyblowjob

luckily i haven’t had many problems with this but if someone gives me an “accidentally” non-decaf drink after i’ve taken my meds I WILL OVERDOSE. don’t fuck with ppl’s orders.

haunteddhowell

i have severe allergies to gluten and dairy and large amounts of sugar make me really sick, and i cant imagine what would happen if someone did this to me. dont scroll past this.

foolblue

My partner is extremely gluten intolerant, and really badly sensitive to it. He’s very chill about the whole thing, but every time we go out to eat, a part of me is absolutely terrified - it wouldn’t kill him, but I can’t bear to see him in the pain that he goes through when he accidentally has gluten

rainbowbutterfrosting

Imma just… hit that reblog button.

oki-joki

Many in my family have severe gluten allergies and lactose intolerance. If there’s a lazy food handler, that could severely hurt them. Please don’t be lazy with food. It can kill and incapacitate people.

aif0s-w

Hey this is really important please read and reblog this post

dovewithscales

People who ignore dietary restrictions are assholes. There is no excuse.

reallymadscientist

I’m pregnant and a waitress tried to talk me out of a Diet Coke by bringing me a regular coke because “aspartame is bad for the baby”. I basically lost it (thanks hormones) because I have gestational diabetes, and that much sugar can literally cause stillbirth if I don’t take a ton of insulin before I drink it.

thecripchronicals

Made these about a month ago, figured other spoonies might want to use them

OMG THESE ARE GREAT

I’m always mildly surprised when books have chapters.

That’s it, that’s all I have to say. Discworld people will get it.

space-morningstar

There are so many things that sound strange outside the Discworld

As for example, using footnotes for something that is not a translation / term clarification, the narrative form, or in the case of some books, that the book has chapters (and even then they are not chapters with only one Title)

miniaturedeerfestival

Tell you what, learning to do Academic Footnotes after an entire childhood of Pterry was a wild ride

academic footnotes (derogatory)

vanwolffen

That’s Archancellor Ridcully’s pet name for Ponder Stibbons.

Wh What. Am I to understand that the fiction novels Discworld have…….FOOTNOTES? Just. Whole ass. Footnotes. ??

Yep. Most of them are side tangents about the world, or a piece of lore, or even just a joke. Some of my favorite Discworld stuff is in the footnotes. I’d say he enjoyed fourth wall breaking, but it would perhaps be more accurate to say he took a sledgehammer to it. Repeatedly and often.

Although he did start to include chapter titles later on in the series when his world caught up with our real world equivalent of the eighteenth century* when novelists began to use chapters for their fiction work, and it stopped being a formatting tool used primarily by scholars and such.

Whether that was ingenious world building or him finally giving into the pleas of his publishers, I do not know.

*Discworld flies through several centuries in the span of about a decade, if that. This is owed primarily to the fact that Terry had a lot to say, and Time on Discworld is about as stable as throwing a brick into a washing machine.

foxoftheasterisk

honestly what good novels don’t have footnotes??

Regrettably, most digital ones. I ended up excluding mine because they’re not accessible on the Kindle (or any other digital) interface. Paperback is fine, but you lose your place attempting to access the footnotes on Kindle.

Which is a shame, really, because my ADHD loves footnotes in fiction. It keeps me from getting bored. It’s sort of the equivalent of watching something on TV while also being on your phone, aka “the only way you’ll get me to sit and focus for long periods of time without wanting to set myself on fire to escape the agonizing monotony of how slow everything is”.

Novels having footnotes is completely alien to me, and I’m kind of angry I didn’t know this was a thing before now because I’ve been whinging for the longest time about my writing. I have way way more lore in my world than I can justify putting on the page, lore that could potentially change how a reader might interpret various things, and having footnotes??? Could help that??? Like that’s such a good idea and it makes me angery lol

Some people dislike them because they can be immersion breaking, I guess, which is why they are not regarded as standard in fiction.

I always find they help me engage with the text more, probably because like I said it feeds the ADHD gremlin that little extra tidbit of something to gnaw on.

But yeah, I mean, they’re regarded as nonconventional in fiction for the most part, but if you want them go for it. Just know they’re pretty poorly integrated in digital media. At least, for now. Who knows, maybe that’ll improve.

I kinda wanna start reading Discworld, but I also know there’s a LOT of books, so like which one should I even start with??

faraige

Well, that’s it’s whole thing! It’s funny because here on Tumblr I’ve seen people say that all fans agree that you don’t start with the first book, The Colour of Magic, and its direct sequel, Light Fantastic, but me and my friends read the books in completely different orders and we all only agree in the fact that you start with The Colour of Magic.

The argument against starting with the first book is that it’s… well, is the first book. Technically it’s not as good as the others. Our argument is that it’s the first book! It may not be as well writen as the others, but it’s the book that introduces you to the world. You are discovering the Discworld right there!! along the author himself!!

As fas as I’ve seen, the usual ways in which people read the books is 1) in order of publications (the way I do it and I’ll defend it til the very end, but my English is wonky today and I don’t want to make this longer than it already is), 2) by sagas (some characters or set of characters have severeal books os them veing the focus of the action or the protagonists, like happens with the Witches, for example, but they often interwind), or 3) the gremlin way, like one of my friends does (they read whatever book they find at the bookshop next in complete chaos… PLEASE don’t be like him).

Enjoy and please do tell us how your experience goes!!

Thanks, this actually helped a lot!! (I'm often tempted to do things the gremlin way, but probably not this time)

I’m always mildly surprised when books have chapters.

That’s it, that’s all I have to say. Discworld people will get it.

space-morningstar

There are so many things that sound strange outside the Discworld

miniaturedeerfestival

Tell you what, learning to do Academic Footnotes after an entire childhood of Pterry was a wild ride

academic footnotes (derogatory)

vanwolffen

That’s Archancellor Ridcully’s pet name for Ponder Stibbons.

Wh What. Am I to understand that the fiction novels Discworld have…….FOOTNOTES? Just. Whole ass. Footnotes. ??

Whether that was ingenious world building or him finally giving into the pleas of his publishers, I do not know.

foxoftheasterisk

honestly what good novels don’t have footnotes??

Some people dislike them because they can be immersion breaking, I guess, which is why they are not regarded as standard in fiction.

I always find they help me engage with the text more, probably because like I said it feeds the ADHD gremlin that little extra tidbit of something to gnaw on.

I kinda wanna start reading Discworld, but I also know there's a LOT of books, so like which one should I even start with??

Do you ever open your mouth with the full intention of saying something normal and catch yourself suddenly struck like a tin hat in a thunderstorm by the helpless realization that your tongue is about to make whatever the fuck sounds it wants