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Kayelee - Chandler, OK For the majority of my life, I have been overweight. From a very young age, I remember being made fun of because of my weight.This was the beginning of my self-esteem issues and...
My amazing trainer, Katie Hogan, allowed me the opportunity to share my story with her followers. Feel free to check her out. She is one of the best people and trainers I know.
So something that I've been working on for months happened this month...I GOT MY FIRST PULL-UP EVER!!! I was so excited and overwhelmed that I even cried a little. The footage is awful because my phone fell off the rig right at the end, but this proves we should never give up on our goals or ourselves.
Although crossfit is my main sport, I participated in my first powerlifting meet yesterday. I was super nervous and hesitant to do it because I was surrounded by girls that held world record lifts, but I thought it would be good to venture out from what I am used to. I was the first lifter in my flight of squats and I was terrified. I went up there and did not take my time like I should have, and I ended up falling forward onto my toes and I failed the lift. I was super upset because I had hit that weight in the gym multiple times. My coach, Katie, calmed me down and reassured me that I could do it. I went up the second time and I nailed a 155-160 pound lift, which felt good. The weight increased and went up there again for my third and final attempt at squat, and I ended up missing it for depth. At this point, there were so many thoughts going through my head about how I should not have done this meet and about how I had failed even though I had two more lifts. After I calmed down and talked to my coach and other girls, I was determined to not miss another lift. I ended up PRing my bench by 5 pounds with a 105 lift, and my deadlift by 23 pounds with a 248 lift. This is a video of my final deadlift. It was such a cool experience and I met so many people through this experience. I am sharing this with you because we all struggle and we all have those little voices in our head that tells us we are failures or tells us to quit, but don’t. We may fail, but we are not failures. We must learn from those failed attempts and get up and try again. Get out of your comfort zone, put yourself out there, and never quit. You are a winner, but you have to believe it.
Sometimes, I get tired of doing the same ole thing: going to the gym, lifting a barbell, doing a chipper or metcon, and leaving. Find activities and sports that you enjoy and incorporate those into your exercise regiment. Grab a couple of friends and play a pickup game of basketball, take your kids to the park and play frisbee, or go for a leisurely swim. There are so many different activities we can do that are fun to do, and they can substitute as a workout. It definitely felt good to shoot some hoops again.
“I don’t have time to workout...” or “I can’t find the motivation to workout...”
If you guys are anything like me, it is so hard to find the motivation to workout outside of the gym. It seems easy to find the motivation to work hard when you are at the gym because there are dozens of people working out along with you. Some days it seems impossible to fit gym time in, but you still want to get a workout in, so you have to do it when you find a good time to take a break from studying, outside the office on your lunch break, or even at home when you can’t get away from the kids. Here are my favorite things to do and ways to find motivation when working out doesn’t seem like an option that day:
1. After a long day at school or work, I just want to relax and catch up on my favorite shows on DVR. Instead of fast-forwarding through the commercials, try holding a plank for the commercial break, or try to get as many push-ups as you can and try to beat it the next commercial break.
2. When your kids are driving you nuts and you just want to get out of the house, take them for a walk or ride on your bike. Some of my most relaxing times are when I turn my music on, stick my nephews in the stroller, and walk. The kids love it because they get to get out of the house, and you get some quiet time.
3. When you’re tired of sitting at your desk in the office, take a 10 minute break to take a walk and get some fresh air. Maybe add in some sit-ups or air squats and you’ve basically done a low-grade crossfit workout. Even standing at your desk instead of sitting can burn more calories, and increase your mobility.
4. When you can’t seem to find the motivation to do that 20 minute AMRAP by yourself that you’ve been dreading all day, tell yourself you can have a reward when you complete the workout. That may be a bubble bath with music, a movie night with a loved one, or a little low calorie treat.
5. Sometimes, we start to feel burnt out and we want to throw our hands up in the air and call it quits. Working out hurts and eating healthy really sucks sometimes. It is times like these in which we have to find the motivation within ourselves. We need to reassess our goals and think about why we started this journey. Yes, that bag of doritos sounds way better than baked kale chips, but will it help you reach your goals? One way to abstain from feeling this way is to post your goals in a place that you will see every day. For me, it’s on my wall right by my bedroom door. For you, it may be the bathroom mirror, your computer screen, or even your phone background. Just make sure you see them. Having something concrete to see everyday will help you to stay focused.
Like many of you I’m sure, I like to make lists of goals and mark them off as I reach them. One of my goals was to get at least one double under before November. This is a video of me reaching that goal. Although it doesn’t look like I am excited, I was. I had previously done quite a few singles and doubles so I was a bit worn out. What are some your goals?
The left picture was taken May 20, 2016, and the right picture was taken August 13, 2016, in the same exact dress. With a clean diet and a bit of exercise, anything is possible.
This is me at my heaviest, roughly 284 pounds at the age of 18 years old. I say roughly because, like many of you I’m sure, I was terrified of the scale. The only reason I knew I weighed this much was because I had to go to the doctor, and, honestly, if the nurse would not have told me what it said, I would not know to this day because I was too scared to look up to see what I had done to myself.
My weight and self esteem problems started in the 2nd grade. It was my first year at this particular school and I was nervous and excited at the same time. Even though my mom had struggled with her weight her whole life, I never really saw myself as chunky until one particular day on the playground. I was walking towards the kickball field when a group of 1st grade boys started yelling at me. At first, I did not know who they were yelling at, but I turned around anyway. Once I turned around, I realized they were yelling at me. Even though this was 14 years ago, I remember exactly what they said. “Hey you!! Yeah you!! You look like a fat pregnant girl walking around.” I acted like I didn’t hear them, but I went off to cry to myself.
I continued to struggle with my weight all throughout elementary, but then something magical happened...puberty. Yes, you read that right. I started to grow taller and it seemed like I could eat whatever I wanted and not gain weight. It was great...until I stopped growing. I joke that 8th and 9th grade was my prime because that is when I felt the best about my body. I wasn’t as small as the other girls in my class, but I wasn’t far off. At the end of freshman year is when I started to gain weight. I remember weighing and seeing 174 on the scale and thinking that I needed to go on a diet. The next year, I creeped up to the 190s. The next year, it was the 200s. By the end of my senior year, I had weighed roughly 250 pounds. Again, I say roughly because I had reached the point where I didn’t even want to see a scale, let alone step on one. As you can see, that number increased as I went to college, as it does for most people.
Now, back to that day at the doctor’s office. I was 19 years old and I weighed 284 pounds. I should have been enjoying college, doing exciting things, and making friends...but I was eating myself to death. Don’t get me wrong, I made friends and I had fun my first year of college, but it was nothing like it should have been. If I would have been happier with myself, I would have participated in more activities and put myself out there more than I did, but I was so self-conscious. You would think hearing a number like 284 would make you want to kick it into high gear and do something about it, but that was not the case. Even after missing out on so much, I still wanted to sink into my hole of food. Seeing that number, and realizing how much weight I had put on in a short time, and realizing how much weight I had to lose was overwhelming. It seemed impossible, so the only thing to do in my head was to keep doing what I was doing because it was comfortable. But comfortability is dangerous, very dangerous.
It wasn’t until May of this year that I realized that. I found crossfit and it changed my life. Now, I am not saying that you have to do one crossfit workout and your life will be changed forever, or that you even have to do crossfit at all to have this revelation, but crossfit truly helped me find my self-worth. In these short few months, I have realized that I can do things I never thought I would be able to do. I have lost 50 pounds and I have never felt better about myself. I realize I still have a long ways to go, but I am not looking at this as a “quick fix” type of deal. This is a lifelong journey and we have to take control of the reins. Food cannot control us, we control us. It’s not easy, but nothing worth having ever came easy. I definitely do not have all the answers and I will never claim that I do, but my goal for this blog is to help others know that they are not alone, and maybe someone will find themselves within themselves just like I did.
