#there. fixed it.

[jumpingd33r]

[yo-snap]

this post but with

tiny kenny

[yoyomarules]

Anyway. Eliot can deal with Milton’s book’s embellishments and oversimplifications—even the stuff about his hair—once they’ve run a job alongside the guy. What he can’t handle is total fabrication, especially if it makes no damn sense.

‘Did you read the epilogue?’ he demands, the moment Hardison answers the phone.

‘Oh,’ Hardison says, ‘so we’re not gonna do, like, “Hey, sweetheart, how are you, you’re looking good today, are you using a new moisturiser”?’

‘Are you using a new moisturiser?’ Parker wants to know. ‘You’re all glowy.’

On the screen, Hardison preens. ‘That’s all natural, baby. Plus, y’know, the humidity here is something else; I’ve never—’

‘Hello?’ Eliot interrupts.

Hardison grins. ‘Right. The epilogue.’

‘D’you read it?’

‘I did,’ Hardison says. ‘What about it?’

‘What about it?’ Eliot repeats. ‘How about where the hell did he get all that bullshit from?’

‘Right, we would never move to Cincinnati,’ Hardison says gravely.

‘I obviously,’ Eliot says, thunderous, ‘mean the part where our fake mastermind has me paired off outta nowhere with a cop.’

‘What’s wrong with that?’ Parker asks brightly, and Eliot knows she’s riling him up but seizes the bait with both hands.

‘For one thing, I’m dating the two of you! For another…’ He searches for the words to describe his indignation but can’t come up with anything besides, ‘What the hell?’

‘You don’t think that’s realistic?’ Hardison asks, deadpan.

‘No, it ain’t realistic, ’cause I ain’t an idiot.’

‘It’d be fine,’ Parker says, clapping him on the shoulder. ‘We’d just have to factor it in. What’s the play, what’s the hook, how do we distract Eliot’s cop girlfriend from the crimes we’re committing—’

‘Or,’ Hardison suggests, ‘you could just tell her, y’know: “Hey, sugar pie, I’m a criminal and my two colleagues I’m definitely just friends with are also criminals—”’

‘“—so if you could look the other way while we steal this rich guy’s money—”’ Parker picks up.

‘“—which I know you won’t have a problem with ’cause cops are so famously unsympathetic to rich assholes—”’

‘Neither of you are funny,’ Eliot says.

‘Uh, disagree,’ Hardison says, but the teasing light in his eyes softens. ‘Eliot, seriously. The book’s been pulled; no one’s gonna know about your—totally fictional, by the way—lapse in all judgement and common sense.’

‘I know! And you two know—’

‘Babe, I absolutely promise you Parker and I do not think you’re about to go running into the arms of a U.S. Marshal.’

‘—and apparently in Nate’s stories I came off as someone who’d bring law enforcement to your door!’ Eliot finishes, and slumps heavily into the couch, mouth pressed into a furious line.

His partners exchange a glance. Then Parker shifts to put her head on Eliot’s shoulder, looping her arm through his.

‘Of course you wouldn’t,’ she says, voice soft.

‘Milton doesn’t know you, El,’ Hardison says gently. ‘He doesn’t know any of us. Nate told him about the cons; he didn’t tell him the personal stuff. The important stuff. He was just trying to tie up his version of the story. And he ain’t that imaginative.’

Eliot shuts his eyes and tilts his head against Parker’s. ‘Yeah,’ he says. ‘Yeah, I know. Just bothered me.’

They’re quiet for a moment, Parker rubbing comfortingly at his arm.

‘If he were imaginative,’ she says at length, ‘he’d’ve had us live forever in robot bodies.’

Eliot lifts his head to peer at her and then, at her entirely serious look, laughs. ‘That’s the plan, huh?’

‘Oh, yeah,’ Hardison says. ‘Transplant our brains so we can carry on doing our thing for the rest of time. It’s all decided.’

‘We already measured your head,’ Parker adds.

‘Well,’ Eliot says, ‘I guess I can get on board with that story.’

[yrieso]

my hair is purple rn and i love it but i kinda wanna dye it blue again bc of avatar....

[bonepranks]

* UNDYNE IS A COP ??? * NOW I KNOW SOMETHING IS MESSED UP IN THIS WORLD. * SHE WOULD NEVER !

[ratsetflummi]

God, I always forget how fucking fast you play through games! Yes, HoS was indeed fucking wild. The dream/nightmare sequences were really fun. I do, indeed, know Sido. That's because I live in Switzerland, not on the moon. And also I watched the most recent season of The Voice of Germany where he was a judge so I know him pretty well by now. He looked like a dad/low key grandpa in that, which I thought was rly neat. I also quite like his music, actually. Not all of it, but some!

i will have you know that i have literally zero ability to tell how popular any given musician is. but especially not outside of germany. and last i counted, you weren’t part of the bundesrepublik club, so from my point of view (i.e. an entire idiot) that was a valid question

are you telling me switzerland’s not on the moon? then why do i even want to go there!? (just kidding, it’s because you’re there 🧡)

it really is very weird to look at that guy nowadays. like, he does look like a nice grandpa, but i know that he swears