#theredbirdchase

[darcyknightley]

Hi! I'm just curious as to how many followers your blog has?

A lot more than I ever hoped for ;)  I’m glad there are a lot of Jane Austen fans on Tumblr :)

[intj-explained]

I saw on a blog that if an INTJ expressed their feelings, they are only hypothesizing. As an INFJ with an INTJ boyfriend, does this mean that when he is expressing his love for me and how much he misses me when apart, or other expressions for that matter, it's not "true"/ I shouldn't take them at face value?

If there’s one thing you can rely on from your INTJ loved ones, it’s their honesty. I also have a hard time imagining an INTJ with the energy or inclination to feign love.

Take him at face value and ignore the bloggers who want to pretend INTJs are sociopaths.

[mbti-conversations]

I saw on a blog that if an INTJ expressed their feelings, they are only hypothesizing. As an INFJ with an INTJ boyfriend, does this mean that when he is expressing his love for me and how much he misses me when apart, or other expressions for that matter, it's not "true"/ I shouldn't take them at face value?

Oh no! Definitely not! I think if an INTJ can only hypothesize about their feelings that would indicate an unhealthy use of Ni/Fi. A healthy INTJ should be able to discern how they’re feeling and properly express that. As a tertiary Fi user, INTJ’s are most likely not inclined to express their emotions and would usually deal with them internally instead but this does not mean they’re incapable of expressing how they feel at all. I would trust that if your boyfriend can express his love for you that it’s the way he honestly feels. 

[officialintj]

Hey I asked about INTJs showing affection and said "make" when I meant "male"

Okay, thanks for the clarification, since I answered a totally different question then.  A male INTJ is going to be very similar to a female INTJ in this respect--at this point, it depends more on the INTJ himself than the fact that he’s male.  Every INTJ is going to be different.  Some don’t like to be touched, for example, but yours truly is one example of an INTJ who likes cuddling in certain situations.  That being said, a male INTJ will likely be more inclined to show their love through works rather than words or physicality.  He’ll probably want to spend quality time with you--INTJs are all about that with people they care about.  He’ll listen attentively to your ideas and possibly debate them.  Actually, if an INTJ is debating with you, take that as a good sign, since we usually don’t bother with debate if we don’t think the argument has value.  He might help you in small ways (small chores, etc., depending on the relationship situation) rather than outright saying he loves you.  INTJs can have a hard time with emotionally loaded terms like “I love you,” but that doesn’t mean we aren’t saying it in other ways.

(Here’s the original answer, for reference.)

[officialintj]

How do make INTJs show their love for their partner?

I assume you’re asking me how one would make an INTJ express their love for their partner (the wording confused me a little).  In that case, the simple truth is that you can’t make INTJs show their love.  You can’t force it (this applies to any type).  If you try, the INTJ will likely resent this and want to distance themselves from you, which is completely opposite of what you wanted in the first place.

If you’re having problems with an INTJ not being expressive enough, just talk to them about it.  We appreciate straightforward communication, especially when emotions and personal relationships are involves.  My boyfriend (INFJ) has actually told me that I can be hard to read in relationship situations, which troubles him because he’s not sure how to react, or he doesn’t know what I’m thinking/feeling.  Since he’s said this, I’ve consciously tried to speak more of my feelings aloud, let him know what I’m thinking, be more generous with physical affection, and so on.  I can’t guarantee that every INTJ would do this, but if the INTJ cares, they’ll want to try to accommodate your needs as best as they can.

[intj-irl]

How do I break open the cage that my INTJ boyfriend locks his emotions in? I know he feels intensely but shuts the emotions down often before they can be felt

That’s easy - you don’t. What he does with his emotions is up to him; the day he wants to discuss/share them with you, he will, but until then, let him figure it out himself. If you try to force your help on him, he will likely just distance himself from you.

- Rain