#these animals

[aardciaga]

every beast in the finfin world is my best friend

[buscandoelparaiso]

only shitty satan’s tv shows could have thought of inviting that person and allow him to speak

[lawliel]

beastars got me feeling ways

[guideaus]

my pets are terrible. one of them puked, so i went to go get paper towels, but i came back and it was gone

[artemispolarbear]

Sometimes they're assholes. Sometimes they're unbearably adorable

[bristlesandbrushes]

Contour Qween. If you can’t be a unicorn shoot for a zebra.

[alucardhelsing]

I am selling 2 Best Friends...

Have you ever looked around you and thought "Well Jee-Whilikers, I am alone in my room for another day!" or "Wow, Why can't I have people like me?" Well, now you can! I am currently selling my two best friends, both in phenomenal condition considering.

My first friend is a blogger here on our site, in near mint condition! Enjoys 5sos, long walks on the beach, food, Calum Hood, food, Michael Jackson's music, Popcorn, Drinking, and all around just a dandy old time!

BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE!

My second friend is slightly used (standard wear and tear from use) and is a big fan of parkour, online gaming, random bouts of rage, calling people at 2 in the morning whilst you are in the middle of a supernatural marathon, driving you insane, puppies, Coca-Cola, Giant freaking laptops, and making your day a swell treat!

AND I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING! YOU'RE THINKING: Gee, that's swell and all but what do I do with them when I'm bored, tired, or want to be alone?

WELL I AM GLAD YOU ASKED!

BUT IF YOU ORDER NOW, YOU CAN ALSO GET A KEURIG COFFEE MAKER AND A TWENTY MINUTE SESSION OF QUESTIONING ALL YOUR LIFE CHOICES!

I BET I CAN READ YOUR THOUGHTS, YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT THESE ABSOLUTELY SPLENDIFOROUS SUBJECTS COST!

$2,000?

$6,000?

$38.00?

NO! WE ARE GIVING THEM AWAY FOR THREE EASY PAYMENTS OF $8.99! ORDER NOW, AND WE WILL THROW IN A PINEAPPLE ABSOLUTELY FREE! CALL NOW!