how i feel having an allergic reaction that has made my hand swell up horribly but i also wanna draw (its hard asf to draw rn)

#dc comics#batman#dc#bruce wayne#tim drake#dc universe#batfamily#dick grayson#batfam#dc fanart



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how i feel having an allergic reaction that has made my hand swell up horribly but i also wanna draw (its hard asf to draw rn)
something that really really really makes me angry is those people who think that youre either entirely 100% mute or you can talk
like no!! sometimes i struggle to speak but i still can, sometimes im perfectly okay with talking, and sometimes even the thought of opening my mouth sends me into a spiral !! its a fluctuation depending on my mood and/or triggers and who/whats around me!
theres a bunch of things that factor into it, like
am i disassociated rn? i am less likely to talk during those times, because i feel like i cant control my body (depending on how disassociated i am)
have i exhausted my social battery today? if i have, less likely to talk
is Person Who Traumatized Me and made me afraid of opening my mouth nearby? hell, then im definitely not talking!
am i overwhelmed? yes? no talking for me
how many people are fronting rn? is it more or less than about four? if its way more, oh hecks to the nah i am NOT talking
there is so, so much that goes into it, so when abled people say "wait i thought you didnt talk were you faking" STFU just let me be comfortable enough to talk! holy shit! if your first reaction when someone who doesnt talk/doesnt talk a lot actually speaks is "r u faking mutism" STFU DNI EAT MY MIDDLE FINGER
okay sorry chat i just got fakeclaimed by an ableist and it pissed me off <//3
you know what? it sucks here actually
i miss home so, so badly that it drains me of any energy. i dont wanna do anything except think about where i came from, remember people i used to know
im tired.
i saw a post a couple days ago and it legit knocked my socks off and i cant remember what it exactly said but heres my ver of it
dont have a relationship (/p or /r) with someone with a mental/physical disorder/disability/etc unless you can handle the bad parts
your partner (/p or /r) has bpd? youre gonna have to be there for them when they split, even if you feel like yelling at them (yelling will make it worse, just stfu and talk it out rationally and help them find coping mechs)
your partner is situationally mute? okay, help them out with that, find ways for them to communicate when they cant, or if they really really cant, just comfort them, find something for them to do until they feel better, and wait patienty (dont you dare try to force them to talk)
etc, etc with any disability/disorder/etc
i repeat: dont have a relationship (/p or /r) with someone with mental/physical problems if you cant handle the bad parts, because if you hurt them while theyre down, they wont trust you ever, and your relationship will be shit
this is kind of a vent but just a little
I SHOULDNT HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL IM HAVING A CRISIS FOR SOMEONE TO ACCEPT THAT IVE BEEN UPSET WTF
thinking about how my parents weaponized food against me and now eating is hell
i should cut everyone off
the fact that cant draw literally ANYTHING interesting i want to draw genuinely pisses me off in a way that i cant explain
it makes me want to violently rip apart all the sketchbooks i have with my teeth and snap my art tools into teeny little pieces and bite and claw and destroy and rip literally everything apart
but anyway!! im but a creative!! creatives have it EASY!!!!!! /sar