Hi, I’m looking for any fics where the glee club or their friends are curious about klaine’s sex lives for some reason. I just finished ready Sex Investigation on A03 and the idea just seemed really funny to me.
Thanks!
I can't think of any fic that is quite like The Sex Investigation Squad. Santana is very interested in Klaine's sex life in Sweat. Readers, if you have any additional suggestions, please leave them in the notes. - HKVoyage
Sweat by nellie12
Kurt was having a bad day until he found badboy!Blaine in the boy’s locker room, furiously swinging at the school’s punching bag. Sweat shouldn’t be so attractive. They talk and get to know each other really, really well.
~~~~~
The Sex Investigation Squad by thetimesinbetween
Blaine has befriended the rest of the New Directions guys. In return, they become obsessed with his and Kurt’s sex life. (They’re pretty sure it doesn’t exist and have agreed that, if it does, it probably involves lots of candles and flower petals. But they need to make sure.) Meanwhile, Kurt and Blaine are in an established, happy, sexual Dom/sub relationship, and they’re getting increasingly desperate because people keep interrupting their time alone. Things…well, things escalate.
lol i was about to prompt you vietreau “Do you…well…I mean…I could give you a massage?” but apparently two other souls had the same beautiful thought. So how about a very different mood: vietreau 32. “I think I’m in love with you and I’m terrified.” :)
an extremely loose interpretation of the prompt that...... ended up brot3. sorry! set in the same universe as this zombie au. They’re driving through the Mojave when they get a flat, because of course they are. Tommy’s already kicking the dead tire by the time Lovett and Jon climb out of the car, both of them drowsy from the heretofore steady lull of the drive. At least the dust storm has worn down.
Jon lifts up his sunglasses to roll his eyes toward Lovett. He opens the trunk, getting out the jack and a tire iron, before Lovett comes over to help him wrestle the spare out. “I, uh, don’t know how to do this,” he says, looking sideways at Lovett. “I have no idea.”
“Step aside, manliest of men, I’ve got this,” Lovett says, pushing the jack under the chassis.
“C’mon,” Tommy says, “we’re on lookout.” He pushes a handgun into Jon’s hands, and Lovett sees the almost-imperceptible stiffening of Jon’s shoulders. It must show even worse on his face because Tommy grips his shoulder reassuringly and meets Lovett’s eyes behind his back with a grim look.
Jon hates carrying a gun, hates carrying any weapon, as far as Lovett can tell. He might’ve guessed Jon was somewhat of a pacifist, before, but weren’t they all… before? Jon can’t seem to convince themselves that the zombies aren’t people any more, that they can’t be saved. He sees the humanity in all of them, no matter how decayed and rotted they are. He still hasn’t killed one, working more as back-up to Lovett and Tommy, and thank god that hasn’t gotten one of them killed yet. It’s the reason why he has a long, twisting scar now, though. Why he had to spend a week in a repurposed old miltary hospital while Lovett and Tommy made themselves sick with worry, even after Jon woke up. Jon had run from the zombie, distracting it from Lovett, and, refusing to shoot it, he’d slipped in gore and gotten himself nearly cut in half on the remains of a burned-out car. Tommy had blown the head off the thing before it could finish the job, but Jon was already on his way to bleeding out. Lovett had thought, hoped, after all that, that Jon would be more willing to -- to do what needs to be done. Lovett’s not a violent person either, but maybe years of horror video games and movies make it easier for him to see them as what they are: undead creatures that you have to kill before they kill you.
Tommy sketches out a perimeter, even though they can see far out into the desert from here, and they lazily patrol it, keeping an eye on the dust cloud off in the distance. Lovett tries not to worry about that, or wonder what Tommy says that makes Jon throw his head back and laugh, the sound carrying over the dry earth. He has to focus on fixing this so they can get the hell out of here. They’re sitting ducks, trapped out here as night rapidly falls. The dust is picking up again when Jon wanders over. “Need any help?” Lovett shakes his head. “Tommy send you to check on me?” Jon grins sheepishly, which is as good as a yes. His sunglasses are tucked in the neck of his t-shirt, even though he's squinting against the dust and sand flying around. Must be getting too dark to see with them on, Lovett realizes. Why didn't Jon pack his polarized ones when the world ended?“You even check that thing?” Lovett asks, tilting his chin toward the gun loose in Jon’s hand. Jon scowls. “Of course I did.” “Show me,” Lovett says, even though his attention is on the tire. “The way we taught you.” Because they had taught him, again and again, drilled it into him to check the magazine and the chamber, how to pull the slide back easier. He listens to Jon doing it, methodically, and looks up as he flicks the safety back on and tucks it into the waistband of his jeans. “Good,” he says, mostly to see Jon smile. His face is already getting dirty with dust. “You should get one of the bandanas from my bag. Make Tommy put it on you for you,” Lovett says, because that’s one thing Jon hasn’t come close to mastering for some reason. Like he’s been summoned, Tommy walks closer to them, keeping half an eye on Jon as he rifles through Lovett’s bag in the trunk, and half an eye on the encroaching storm. He opens his mouth, but Lovett beats him to it.
“I know, I know we have to go. I’m almost there,” Lovett says, and Tommy nods and does a wide circle before coming closer to them again. Circling the wagons, Lovett thinks inanely, trying to force the lug nut tighter. Lovett watches out of the corner of his eye as Tommy takes the bandana from Jon’s hands and folds it in half, carefully using it to cover Jon’s nose and mouth and tying it behind his head, adjusting the line of it in the front afterward, over the bridge of Jon’s nose, his hands gentle on Jon’s face. Lovett swallows, waiting for them to break eye contact. It takes a long time, but finally Tommy turns away, walking back out ahead on the road, shotgun over one shoulder.
Lovett watches Jon watch him, his body one long, loose line, before he turns back to Lovett and grins. Lovett can’t see his mouth, but he can tell from the lines around his eyes. From the way Jon always smiles with his whole body. “Do I look like I could rob a bank?” “Sure,” Lovett says, “you’re a regular Bonnie Parker.” “Does that make you Clyde then?” Jon asks. Lovett looks over to where he can just see Tommy through the gathering dust clouds and back to Jon. Jon’s still watching him, eyes bright and curious over the navy of the handkerchief. Lovett shrugs. “Uh, guys?” Tommy calls back, and Lovett looks up to see Tommy racing back toward them. Jon fumbles to pull his gun out of his waistband. “There’s something coming. We good to get back on the road yet?” The dust and sand are swirling so thick now that turning on the headlights will only make visibility worse, so Lovett can’t see what Tommy saw, but he trusts him. “Just about, I need a few more minutes,” Lovett says. Tommy nods, face grim, and then he yells. He’s gone, when Lovett jerks upright, vanished into the dust. Jon’s staring after him, stock-still. “Jon,” Lovett says, low. “Go. You have to go.” Jon nods, but he doesn’t move. “Jon, for the love of--” Jon glances back at him, eyes wide and scared, and barrels into the dust cloud. Lovett grits his teeth against wanting to chase after them and focuses on the car. If he doesn’t fix the car, they’re dead on the ground anyway. He has to fix the car, so they have an escape. He has to fix the car, and not think about both of them getting murdered by zombies while he crouches here in relative safety. He hears the sound of a gunshot, small caliber, from Jon’s gun, not Tommy’s, and looks up to see the muzzle flare light up the dust. He can’t make out anything but shadows in the brief light. There’s another shot, then a third. He gets the last lug nut secured and stands, tire iron in hand. He wonders if he has time to get his machete when two forms lumber out of the dust. It’s Tommy, dragging Jon beside him. Neither of them look bloody or hurt, but he can tell Jon’s shaking from here. Tommy nods at him, and Lovett’s shoulders relax. Tommy shoves Jon into the passenger seat of the car before coming to help Lovett heft the useless tire into the trunk in the hopes it can be fixed with a patch when they get back to civilization. “Is he--?” Lovett asks, but then the car door flies open and Jon stumbles out, falling to his knees in the sand as he wretches. He’s only sick once, but he heaves for a long time, his whole body flinching when Tommy lays a hand on his back. Lovett hovers, holding one of their last water bottles. When Jon looks up at them, his face is chalky from dust above where the bandana had been tied, now dirty and crumpled around his neck, and there are streaks of clean skin under his eyes. From tear tracks, Lovett realizes, Jon’s eyes red and wet. “We need to go,” Tommy says, and Lovett helps him get Jon to his feet, pulling him back to the car. Jon’s still trembling, and it’s only then that Lovett realizes Tommy has both of their guns. Lovett sits in the middle of the backseat, so he can keep a wary eye on Jon, who’s crumpled against the passenger side door, hands tight around the water bottle. He’s staring off into the distance, breathing hard through his mouth. Tommy starts the car and pulls back on the road, swerving neatly around a dead zombie some fifty feet along. Jon recoils when he sees it, slamming his eyes shut. Tommy reaches over to lay a hand on his shoulder, gripping him hard, and Lovett trusts his instincts and reaches forward, too, resting his hand on the back of Jon’s neck. He can feel the sweat there, and the tensed muscles. “Jon,” Tommy says lowly, “you saved my life.” Jon hiccups in a breath. “I-- I killed him, I--” “You saved my life,” Tommy says again, bracingly, and he repeats it over and over until Jon nods, silently agreeing, until Tommy can put both hands back on the wheel. “I was. I was so scared,” Jon croaks out. “I’m scared all the fucking time, but I couldn’t. It couldn’t take you, Tom. It can’t have you.” He looks over his shoulder at Lovett. “Either of you,” he adds, firmly. He settles into Lovett’s hold, tipping his head back against the headrest, and Lovett lets himself rub his thumb soothingly up and down the side of Jon’s neck as he relaxes.
“Alyssa said we could stay awhile,” Lovett says softly, after Jon’s dropped off and when he can just make out the lights of Vegas on the horizon. Or, well. What lights are left, for the casinos that have been able to keep them on. The ones repurposed by enterprising survivors, like Alyssa.
"Yeah, she did,” Tommy agrees, looking at him in the rearview mirror for a second.
"She's putting us up in the penthouse. Can you imagine? All we had to do to live in the lap of luxury is survive the apocalypse.” Tommy rolls his eyes; Lovett can just see it in the mirror. “Don’t use the ‘A’ word.”
“It has two bedrooms,” Lovett soldiers on, “but maybe we just, uh. Maybe we just use one?” “One king bed?” Tommy jokes, and Lovett laughs. It feels good to laugh today, even if it wakes Jon up. “Oh,” Jon says, sitting up. Lovett lets his hand fall away, but Jon reaches back for him without looking. “We’re there?” “Just about, yeah,” Lovett says, unable to keep the smile off his face as Jon looks back and forth between them, his fingers laced with Lovett’s.“Did you ask him, Tommy?” “Ask me what?” Lovett interrupts, before Tommy can speak. “Alyssa said we can take one of the penthouses, so--” he breaks off when Lovett starts laughing. “Yeah,” Lovett says, sharing a sly grin with Tommy in the mirror. “Yeah, he asked me.” “You know we’re scared all the time, too, right?” Tommy says. “Try fucking terrifed,” Lovett adds. Jon ducks his head. “I know, it’s just--” “We know, Jon,” Lovett says, squeezing Jon’s hand in his. “Trust us.”
tienriu replied to your post “Almost got my ass kicked on an airplane”
Sam, you pulled an adult on some kid. And forgot that you're an actual facts adults. Also I bet you are now being immortalised in a 'this one time -' story a bunch of the people around you are telling.
LOL I’m not even sure if anyone else heard me, you know how airplane accoustics are, but he definitely did. :D I swear I just meant to think it to myself.
I don’t think I ever really internalized that I’m an actual facts adult myself -- it took me realizing that this kid was probably 15-20 years younger than me to realize that I actually appear to have authority.
winds-wanderer replied to your photo “Man, you guys, the Guggenheim is EVEN UGLIER IN PERSON. Nothing...”
Funny stories re the Guggenheim (from former prof who used to work there as an art handler). 1. The walls are a bitch for hanging art. Many drill bits were required. 2. The incline of each floor was too steep for driving small vehicles carrying art work. As for me, the distance between the wall and the rail is too narrow, preventing proper viewing of big art works. So Guggenheim = great architecture, shitty space for displaying art.
Yeah, I did a bit of reading on it and Frank Lloyd Wright never seems to be really interested in the ultimate use of the piece -- I think he was really a frustrated installation artist before they existed (hence the frustration). His architecture was art applied to structure, but he seemed heavily disinterested in what that structure was surrounding.
jeanninedupree replied to your photo “Some photos I didn’t get to post today! Lanterns in a park in south...”
Sam, I don't know if you ever ran across the work of Rex Stout's sister Ruth, but it's well worth your time. She's mainly known as a gardening writer (author of "How to Have a Green Thumb Without an Aching Back") but her book "If You Would Be Happy" is good general philosophy of life.
Oh neat! I wasn’t aware of her, thank you. I’ll add it to my reading queue!
jaythenerdkid-official replied to your photo “Some photos I didn’t get to post today! Lanterns in a park in south...”
I always read that the address of wolfe's brownstone (which changed quite a bit in the books, just like the name of wolfe's lawyer - IS IT NATHANIEL OR IS IT HENRY GEORGE,, REX) would put his house somewhere in the river. that plaque is so cool, though! wolfe is one of my favourite detectives. he and goodwin are my favourite bickering old married couple to go and visit when I'm feeling down.
Yeah, he shared with Conan Doyle a certain lack of concern with the finer details of his stories, but then I think he thought of them as fun little pulps -- he made them as literary as possible and he had some social commentary to make especially in the later ones, but I don’t think he ever thought they’d be seriously studied by people.
There were definitely a lot of addresses I found when I decided I’d go searching for the brownstone (there aren’t any brownstones in that area anymore) but once I happened on the fact that there was a plaque, I decided to take the Wolfe Pack’s word for it :D
sphinxyvic replied to your photo “Some photos I didn’t get to post today! Lanterns in a park in south...”
Gotta show this to Parhelion! We’ll have to look for it next time we’re in NYC!
It’s at 454 West 35th Street -- though I have to warn you there is no brownstone attached to it, it’s just a very nice kind of vintagey-designed apartment block.
thetimesinbetween replied to your photo “Found hipster foodie Steve’s favorite coffee joint. (It is in...”
pause, i live here (in brooklyn)—where is this???
It’s called The Flat BKSpeed Coffee -- I guess it’s kind of a sales point for a coffee micro-roastery in the area?
luthorchickv2 replied to your photo “Well I found something to top yesterday’s Vermeer.”
Was in a cab going up first when i was this post and managed to look out the window at exactly the right moment to see it.
Aw yay, how serendipitous! I actually quite like it, it’s weird and I’m not sure where it’s going but it’s having fun on the way there. According to news coverage, it’s meant to be a welcoming, whimsical first sight on the way to the new children’s hospital that’s going up nearby.
persian-slipper replied to your photo “Well I found something to top yesterday’s Vermeer.”
Who is the artist? It isn't S. Johnson, is it?
No, although there is a Seward Johnson nearby, apparently, I passed close to it on the bus ride back from the doggo. It’s by Donald Lipiski.
laughingacademy replied to your photo “Well I found something to top yesterday’s Vermeer.”
Too bad it wasn't raining, that causes the windshield wipers to turn on.
I HEARD. I was so mad too because it rained later that day!
myotherblogisatardis replied to your post “The little statues are in the 14th St/8th Avenue stop, not 34th. St.”
Ohhhh... Those.... I *hate* those guys!
I have to admit the first ones I saw I was like “Oh, how cute!” and the second one I saw next to it I was like “Well that’s funny!” and then the more I saw the more creeped out I got.
bobcatmoran replied to your photo “Okay kids, you said Ess-A-Bagel so here I am, and bagels aside, the...”
Midwesterner who lived in NY for a few years - I think the thing about NYC bagels isn't necessarily that the best NYC bagels are on a different plane than the best bagels in, say, Chicago. It's that the average NYC bagel is so, SO much better than the average bagel in a Midwestern city, even one as big as Chicago. And they're so ubiquitous.
That makes sense, and the ubiquity I will acknowledge -- the ease of getting a really good bagel in New York is undeniable. If I lived in a city where I could get bagels that good that easily, I’d have a bit of civic pride about it too.
This does, however, reinforce my belief that people who hear the question “Hey where can I get good bagels in XYZ city” and respond “You can’t, go to New York” are being assholes. It’s not helpful, it just generates noise, and it’s worse now! Because it’s SO EASY to find good bagels in New York! New Yorkers should be sympathetic to the plights of those trying to find good bagels elsewhere. It’s the pettiest of punching-down maneuvers.
truly-a-gryffindork replied to your photo “Okay kids, you said Ess-A-Bagel so here I am, and bagels aside, the...”
If you want a side of religious experience with your bagels you’ll have to go to Montreal
I am willing to test this hypothesis the next time I find myself in Montreal!
lh7 replied to your post “Sam I have an important Chicago question: just north of the DuSable...”
hey @copperbadge this post on my blog was flagged
Thank you! Even Tumblr knows how atrocious Seward Johnson’s art is. I’ve had it unflagged.
fanmouse replied to your photo “IT HAS BEEN A VERY EXCITING DAY. I went to Tal’s bagels for breakfast...”
I want to know if one of the silver pitchers in the Met collection belonged to Vermeer (or the model). Wishing you safe travels.
I actually backtracked yesterday morning to the public-access storage room and went through the rack of silver pitchers looking for one that matched, but alas, none had the right shape and spout.
melinda-t-charville replied to your photo “Funnily enough mum used to complain that people randomly followed her...”
Thank you! I was able to find it now - you must have got a good deal bc they're selling it for $20 on Amazon!
Oh lord, you can definitely find it cheaper than that -- I saw it for like $8 using Google Shopping. Good luck in your quest!
thetimesinbetween replied to your post “lizzyangelic: pipistrellus: lizzyangelic: queerautism: ...”
hey all. i was gauging how annoyed i was gonna be with lizzyangelic, took a glance at her tumblr. she's 16 yrs old. was she wrong to add that comment? yes. but let's either ignore her or be very gentle and clear on the responses, all right? SHE'S A CHILD. thanks.
Ooooooh dear. I honestly didn’t see where it said that. Thanks for the heads up.
are there any fics with like mercedes and rachel asking kurt all about his sex life and he’s flustered and stuff? or blaine talking to someone about it? hopefully this makes sense
I can’t recall a specific fic where Kurt openly talks about his sex life with others. Readers, if you know of any fics, please let us know. - HKVoyage
Here are two fics where people talk about Kurt and Blaine’s sex life between themselves. - HKVoyage
Jumping to Conclusions by Joyful
Kurt pulls a muscle and is 'walking funny' at glee practice, causing people to draw some interesting conclusions. Blaine can't understand why people keep congratulating him.
~~~~~
The Sex Investigation Squad by thetimesinbetween
Blaine has befriended the rest of the New Directions guys. In return, they become obsessed with his and Kurt’s sex life. (They’re pretty sure it doesn’t exist and have agreed that, if it does, it probably involves lots of candles and flower petals. But they need to make sure.) Meanwhile, Kurt and Blaine are in an established, happy, sexual Dom/sub relationship, and they’re getting increasingly desperate because people keep interrupting their time alone. Things…well, things escalate.
Is there any fanfic people too interested in Klaine’s sex life? As they talk about it, trying to get information from either of them
The Sex Investigation Squad by thetimesinbetween
Blaine has befriended the rest of the New Directions guys. In return, they become obsessed with his and Kurt’s sex life. (They’re pretty sure it doesn’t exist and have agreed that, if it does, it probably involves lots of candles and flower petals. But they need to make sure.) Meanwhile, Kurt and Blaine are in an established, happy, sexual Dom/sub relationship, and they’re getting increasingly desperate because people keep interrupting their time alone. Things…well, things escalate.
~~~~~
Sweat by @nellie12
Kurt was having a bad day until he found badboy!Blaine in the boy’s locker room, furiously swinging at the school’s punching bag. Sweat shouldn’t be so attractive. They talk and get to know each other really, really well.
Thank you so much! It was Massages and Jealousy! Btw, I want to ask for fics like tbat, people jealous or admire Klaine's relationship. Do you know any?
I’m glad that I found the fic you were looking for. The more details you give, the better chance we have of finding it. The foot massage detailed helped me fine-tune my search.
For more stories like that, I suggest you take a look our our early!Klaine tag. I did manage to find two fics for you. - HKVoyage
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Friday nights with the huddles. by commen-sense
Finn notices Blaine is always around for family dinners and pushes for Rachel to be allowed to come as well. Cue Rachel trying to compete with Blaine to be the perfect dinner guest. Shenanigans of sorts ensue.
~~~~~
The Sex Investigation Squad by thetimesinbetween
Blaine has befriended the rest of the New Directions guys. In return, they become obsessed with his and Kurt’s sex life. (They’re pretty sure it doesn’t exist and have agreed that, if it does, it probably involves lots of candles and flower petals. But they need to make sure.) Meanwhile, Kurt and Blaine are in an established, happy, sexual Dom/sub relationship, and they’re getting increasingly desperate because people keep interrupting their time alone. Things…well, things escalate.
Summary: This is a thank you fic for Gigi, who prompted: some general fluff/sweet loving with the boys waking up in the loft together after Blaine moves in?
