15:Talk about the time you were most content in life.
"That’s a hard question to answer. I guess it’d be a toss up between when I was real little, growin’ up with Shawn and Beth, and lyin’ in the guard tower with Glenn.
"Shawn and I weren’t real close when we were little. I think it was just one of those "girls have cooties" sort of things - but we made up for it when we got older. Beth and I were best friends, though. We’d spend all our time together. We ran around the farm together, sometimes with the neighbor kids and sometimes by ourselves. But I think I remember most playin’ together in our rooms. We used to build palaces out of blocks for our action figures to live in, whole houses for our barbie dolls. We had these immensely complicated plots involving whole families of characters our dolls would play, and the trials of their lives. Sometimes we’d pack these little plastic suitcases we had with random items and pretend that we were secret agents and those items were actually high-tech gadgets to get us out of tough situations. Sometimes we were teachers, or grocers, or anything we wanted to be that day. Things were so much simpler back then. The worst thing you had to worry about was math homework.
"In some ways, I have to say I was the most content then. I didn’t have any of this weight on me, none of this grief. No one I knew was dead or dyin’. There was no fear outside of the occasional scary movie. So maybe that’s the answer, and I should stop there.
"But I do think somethin’ needs to be said for the way I feel when Glenn touches me. When I’m in his arms or he runs his fingers through my hair. How safe it feels to be by his side, in his bed. The sound of his heartbeat and the steady rise and fall of his chest as he breathes. I know we’ve lost so much. I can’t even think about it most of the time because it hurts so bad to think about that I think if I did - if I really let myself realize that my mother and brother are really gone… that everyone outside of this prison that I ever loved is probably dead, too… I don’t think I could handle it. Some nights when Glenn is on watch, I know I can’t go to bed by myself because if I don’t fall asleep right away I’ll get to thinkin’ about all the late night conversations I had in the livin’ room with Shawn, lyin’ on the couch with the tv on closed caption, talkin’ about life… and somethin’ inside of me breaks open and it feels like I’ll cry forever and ever.
"It’s not so hard when I’m with Glenn. The pain doesn’t disappear, but… it’s just not so sharp when we’re snuggled up against the cold weather tellin’ stories about when life was different, safer. And maybe being the most content with life isn’t about a time when there was no pain to be had (aside from skinned knees and shared sweets), maybe it’s about findin’ a measure of solace from all of the horrors of the world. Maybe it’s about the sanctuary that you carve out for yourself, arduously and with great pain. I’m not real sure. I guess it all depends on your definition of the word ‘contentment’.”
