I was afraid to listen to something my fave had been in because I had a feeling they'd say a word I'd rather not have heard them say. I thought I could predict when it would happen and take my headphones out at the right time. I was wrong.
It's not the end of the world, but it's never going to be erased from my mind.
It's been two weeks since I got home and I'm still incredibly in my feelings about the Posthuman Cabaret (more thoughts below, photos by Nora Bellamy and Lauren Jennings).
For a week I got to live the very best version of my life; working and laughing with some of the kindest, warmest, most talented people I've ever had the privilege to call my friends. Returning to the stage to be a part of something much bigger than myself. Meeting people who told me they were so affected by some songs I sang in my apartment a few years ago that they flew all the way out to hear me sing them in person. It was a week of doing the things I love with people I love, and it was beautiful.
Now, I'm home. My new friends are all far away, as are most of my old ones, and I've never been particularly adept at keeping in contact across distances. I'm chipping away at my novel, haphazardly plunking away at joanna newsom songs on the piano, all to keep myself sane through dealing with the Plymouth public in my retail job. I'm surviving. But for that one week, my lord, I was living.
I missed theater. I missed singing. I missed performing. But really I missed working together with a community of people I connected with to build art together. That's what's truly special to me. It's hard to not know when that feeling will arrive again.
But it will someday, and when it does, it'll be magical.
“Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the air. You name them — work, family, health, friends, and spirit… and you’re keeping all of these in the air. You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four balls — family, health, friends, and spirit — are made of glass.” I had a baby! My daughter was born on her due date at the end of August, and my partner and I instantaneously felt all of our priorities shift — not unlike the way every part of my body had adjusted to make room for the tiny-but-chubby human inside me. I love advice and love lists and this is a nice list of pieces of life advice Ryan Holiday has collected over the years to remind me to keep my eye on the glass ball. (Forge)
“Under the sheer volume of competing facts and studies, news stories and social media posts that bludgeon us daily, we succumb to truth-lite. The overwhelm sees us seek expedient options”: Sarah Wilson has some ideas on why the wellness realm has fallen into “conspiratualism.” (The Guardian)
“All these men, some of whom I knew intimately and others I’d never met, were debating who owned an image of me”: Emily Ratajkowski can’t buy back her own image but can claim to have the final word in this devastating story (that subsequently went viral) of her abuse and exploitation in her modelling career (The Cut).
On the other hand, Ratajkowski may have missed an opportunity to broaden her argument to include people other than herself, writes Haley Nahman. Without further analysis of the complexity of the modelling industry and Ratajkowski’s own complicity in its value system (the male gaze, female objectification, and self-commodification), the essay falls into a common trap in late-capitalist reflective writing: “which is to assume that by simply calling out a problem, or exploiting it in her favor, she takes away its power.” (Maybe Baby)
For more on this idea of “the reflexivity trap,” Katy Waldman dared take on Sally Rooney and other contemporary novelists whose protagonists believe self-awareness absolves them of any need to effect genuine, systemic change: “that professing awareness of a fault absolves you of that fault—that lip service equals resistance.” In a moment that desperately demands more than performative lip service, the danger of the reflexivity trap is that is casts self-awareness as a finish line, not a starting point. (New Yorker)
“It would be a disaster for feminism to return either to a strictly biological understanding of gender or to reduce social conduct to a body part or to impose fearful fantasies, their own anxieties, on trans women... Their abiding and very real sense of gender ought to be recognised socially and publicly as a relatively simple matter of according another human dignity”: Judith Butler does not come to play. (New Statesman)
“She chose her words precisely, like silver arrows sailing to hit their targets. Instead of referring to something as “racist,” she called it “thoughtlessness”; she referred to underrepresented groups as “misfits.” She is aware of the ways words like racism and microaggression have lost their power, so she searched for new ones that might make people listen”: I watched and loved Michaela Coel’s incredible TV show I May Destroy You. It will be compared maybe to Girls and Fleabag because of the way we always fetishise and compare female creators, and it’s not unlike those shows but it’s also something completely original and beautiful and unique. E. Alex Jung has written the definitive profile — read after watching (Vulture)
Hello, friends. I don’t normally make a post about this - I don’t think I do, anyways. I don’t normally feel like I’ve done enough to bother making a post about it, really. But I sat down today, and I got thinking, and I realized - shit. I’ve actually done quite a bit this year. I’m still a hermit, but I wasn’t as much of a hermit, I guess.
So I thought I’d make a post. As much for my own sake, almost to prove to myself that I’ve done it, as it is to share. Some things I accomplished in 2018 were: (long post so beneath a cut you go)
1. I attended a butt-ton of conventions and cosplayed a lot
Guys, I went to eight conventions this year. EIGHT. I normally go to, like, TWO.
I attended EGLX worked MTAC in March, drove down to Motor City Comic Con (my first ever states con!) and hit up Anime North in May, had Yeticon in June, Conbravo! in July, survived FanExpo in September, and just enjoyed wandering around Toronto Fan Days in December! It’s been hectic! It’s been crazy!
It’s been fun. And speaking of those conventions, I cosplayed at every single one.
Now I’m not going to lie - 90% of the time, I was femshep this year, whether in armor or casual. What can I say? She’s a fun character to cosplay! And going off remarks from other people, I do a good job at her! (Which makes me stupidly happy, because another thing I’d like to say I’ve gotten better at is cosplay makeup)
I also cosplayed Summer Corrin from Fire Emblem Heroes, and brought back an oldie that’s been stashed in my closet - Hitomi Kanzaki from Escaflowne, whom I’d like to think I did a much better job of this time around.
2. Creatively Speaking, I’ve actually done a decent amount of writing this year - and a lot of it’s been about original characters!
I started the year off with the newest update to my Shakarian AU series, Return to Duty (I’ll get back to this this year, I swear guys), followed by my Shrios AU, Falling for the Prey (which, according to AO3, I finished in like a month... geez, go me!) and then I dove into Rose and Rainer... and the rest, as they say, is history.
I also discovered a love for wigs in general - and that I’m a bit of a chameleon that can wear anything except a black wig, hurray?
To this day, I cannot believe the amount of love and support I’ve received for this story and these characters - I went into it figuring no one would care, and was pleasantly surprised! R&R then spawned Broken Souls after chatting with @wafflesrock16 and others, and realizing that Lily needed to have survived... a fic that’s now been finished, leaving yet another AU idea in it’s place alongside R&R.
I finished writing Misadventures, and wrote various oneshots, including Specter and Alchera, and just... got back into, again.
3. Speaking of Conventions and Cosplay and Fandom... not only was one of those conventions in the States, I’ve made a ton of new friends this year through all of these mediums!
I started the year off by going to freaking Disney Land!! with one of my best friends, @ariannadi - I took my first ever flight January 1st, 2018, and managed to make it to California - which was also my first time leaving Canada, ever. We had a blast, and I got to see Adi again in May when she came to join us here for Anime North!
A week prior to AN, I drove my butt down to Michigan to attend Motor City with the lovely @scientistsalarian - it was our first time meeting, and it was a blast. I even managed to briefly kidnap Laura for Fanexpo in September!
I met a bunch of new Critical Role friends through the cons as well - mostly by yelling at them from my booth at MTAC, since I couldn’t move but I could see cosplays, oops! But hey, it worked!
I even got to meet the lovely @kittenkakt in person when she came down for the BTS concert in Hamilton! Totally worth the drive out to see you in person Kat ♥
Fandomwise, my OC writing has almost... drawn me out of my shell, so to speak. At least a bit. I talk to so many more people now then I used to, and I don’t know what I’d do without you guys. Seriously. Even if we don’t talk everyday, I appreciate the hell out of you, and my life is better for you.
Let’s see, what else... oh...
4. I Started Collecting D&D Dice... and playing, sort of.
Though the playing is more recent, and we’ll see how it goes... wish me luck on this, yeah? I’m still a super newb who just really, really likes pretty dice.
5. I’ve also Finally gotten to the weight I want to be at!
Which... I never thought I would do, to be honest. I figured I was stuck. Then because of migraines, I stopped drinking all pop, and I avoid MSG and aspartame and try my damn best to eat well... and I’ve dropped. It’s a crazy feeling. I’m gonna do my best to hold on to it.
The hell else did I do this year? I tried VR? It was cool, but I got motion sickness - oh well.
I got to see Aqua with @tia-luna ! It was a ton of fun - made my 90s heart so happy.
I’ve spent time with friends - I kidnapped @toastmage on a family boat trip in the summer, that was interesting. We both got sunburnt oops.
And... I’ve had my Lasik retouched. I think that’s it? I’ve hit all the important points. And I hope you guys will agree... I did pretty well, this year.
Nico’s resting and healing as he speak, so he should be back to normal for 2019. I’ll be 29 in May... yeesh.
I’d say my goals for this year are... drink more water. Try to have more fun. Get better cosplay pictures lmao.
I want to break out Leafa again, and do a better job - if we do our Little Witch group this year, I’ll be Lotte, and I have another wig on the way for... something cough.
And, finally, just a big shoutout to all the awesome friends I’ve made either before 2018 or during, that’ve stuck around and helped keep me sane this year. You’re all awesome, and I love you and wish you nothing but the best in the coming year.
hey everyone!! i haven’t done blogrates or anything of the sort in awhile so i wanted to do one when i hit 1k.. that was last month & i was super busy but now i’m finally free & i just hit 1.1k!!!!! this is still super insane to me but thank you from the bottom of my heart. to show my appreciation, i’m gonna do a fun little blograte celebration :)
rules
mbf this brucethor
reblog this post
send an ask w/ up to two of the following:
💕 + your favourite movie for a normal rate
☁️ + tell me how your day’s going for a blog compliment
✨ + your favourite sw character for a star wars themed rate
⚡ + your favourite mcu scene/moment for a marvel themed rate
🌸 + your name & something that makes you happy for a name aesthetic
🦄 + your favourite summer activity for a detailed rate (this is an exception! if you want this you can’t choose any other rate)
please be patient!
format under the cut
💕 - normal rate
url: don’t get it | nice | amazing | flawless | luke skywalker
icon: don’t get it | cool | beautiful | wowow | diana prince
mobile theme: not my style | superb | awesome | gorgeous | jim kirk
desktop theme: not my style | pretty | incredible | a masterpiece | shuri
posts: not my fandoms | lovely | excellent | perfection | rose tico
overall: meh | great | love it! | i wanna be you when i grow up | thor
following: no but ily | i wasn’t before?? | hell yeah | i love you (you know)
☁️ - blog compliment
a paragraph of me just gushing over your blog basically
✨ - sw rate
alignment: jedi | grey jedi | sith
lightsaber colour: blue | green | red | yellow | white | purple | orange
homeworld: coruscant | tatooine | naboo | mandalore | alderaan | bespin
species: human | twi’lek | pantoran | togruta | rodian | zabrak | clawdite
era: prequel trilogy | original trilogy | sequel trilogy
master:
best friend:
enemy:
⚡ - mcu rate
alignment: hero | anti-hero | villain
power(s): super speed | super strength | telekinesis | telepathy | invisibility | teleportation | weather manipulation | force fields | time travel | empathy | healing factor | shapeshifting | pyrokinesis | cyrokinesis | enhanced senses | immortality | money | none
tool(s): super suit | sword | bow & arrow | guns | shrinking device | shield | blasters | metal arm | vibranium | infinity stone | space ship | 7 phDs | none
location: new york | wakanda | sokovia | asgard | sakaar | xandar | titan | knowhere | quantum realm
best friend:
enemy:
did you survive the snap? yes | no
🌸 - name aesthetic
chris: oversized sweaters, staying up late to watch movies, messy handwriting, hot cocoa, an wide array of pens & markers, high ponytail, vanilla chapstick, striped socks, stacks of books, glasses 24/7, etc.
🦄 - detailed rate
url:
do i get the reference?: no, sorry | maybe? | yes!
length: bit too short | perfect | bit too long
overall: good | superb | awesome | flawless | hermione granger
icon:
do i get the reference?: yes! | maybe? | no, sorry
coloring: okay | lovely | excellent | perfection | leonard mccoy
clarity: okay | nice | amazing | flawless | spock
overall: great | pretty | incredible | a masterpiece | jim kirk
desktop theme:
format: not my style | good | awesome | flawless | tony stark
colors: not my style | great | pretty | love it | peter parker
sidebar: not my style | lovely | excellent | perfection | valkyrie
updates tab: not my style | cool | beautiful | wowow | shuri
overall: okay | superb | awesome | gorgeous | thor odinson
mobile theme:
colors: not my style | lovely | excellent | perfection | finn
title: don’t get it | good | awesome | flawless | poe dameron
header: not my style | pretty | incredible | a masterpiece | rose tico
overall: good | great | amazing | gorgeous | rey
posts:
my fandoms?: no | some | most | yes!
quality: okay | superb | fantastic | flawless | steve trevor
overall: okay | nice | excellent | perfection | diana prince
overall:
overall: meh | great | love it! | i wanna be you when i grow up | mako mori
following?: no but ily | i wasn’t before?? | hell yeah | i love you (you know)
I'm not someone who can just fuck you. Cause whenever we had sex with each article of clothing I took off I had to take a moment to think, "damn you are art."