#thinking before speaking

[annetabatt]

Enneagram Type Five Aesthetic

[ottertail1]

having a queue is GREAT because I can think before I post, which I usually do not think before I speak.

[anything-advice-blog]

i've been pretty upset lately because I've realized that I often say things without thinking first. E.g I'll say something then soon realize that I've accidentally insulted somebody or it was offensive. Sometimes I'll even say something that will put myself down or threaten myself. Is there a way to stop myself from saying before thinking? I don't want friendships to fall apart because of me. btw thank you for running such an amazing account, you help a lot of people :)

Hey darling,

Thinking before speaking is kind of easier said than done. I think you can try with talking slowly, that way it’ll be easier for you to analyze what you’re saying and stop yourself if you need to. Also, another method is not talking, which can be hard at first, but if someone else is speaking and you don’t interrupt them and pay attention to what they’re saying, it’ll be easier to come up with a more accurate response later on.  

Also, you should try always thinking, even when you’re not talking to anyone in particular, think about what you said last time that didn’t go well, so you know now not to say the same thing. Little by little you’ll know what’s the correct thing to say or not to say without even thinking about it that much.

Another thing you can do is getting to know the other person. The limits as of what you can or can’t say to someone are different from person to person. Some might not be offended with what you said and others might be. Once you get to know this person you know how careful you have to be around them.

Last but not least, tell other people about this! Apologize for anything you might’ve said that wasn’t nice and say that you are trying to change this, so they know that you don’t really mean to be rude and they can be a bit more patient with you. 

Good luck! And thank you for your kind words :)

-Bri

[kreemchiizu]

I will never do or say anything before asking myself "why?"

[majesticmoonsnake]

Think before Speak

I think i need to to think before  i speak. as  all that ever comes out of my mouth you could say is word vomit. i just say straight away whats on my mind relating to me or people even things your probably most likely not meant to say out loud i think i say. Going to see if i can think before i speak and at least register what comes out of my mouth but at least you know i'm always saying the truth and whats on my mind and not lying!. haha

[itsjennyy-blog-blog]

feeling some sort of way...

in deep thoughts. But I'd rather keep things to myself before I say something wrong...THINKING BEFORE I SAY SOMETHING!

[stillamongmen]

sometimes I wonder if we actually listen to ourselves when we speak. There's a lot of people that just talk without really thinking, and the second that happens, you'd think we'd have a bad taste in our mouth because there's a foot there.  But then what gets me is when people now are typing or making posts without really thinking.

It's crazy how we're so quick, and when I say we I mean me too, to point out other people's specks when we've got just as many on us.

It's times like these where I don't know how we live with ourselves. 

[avivajaye]

OMG Your Hair!

I love how when a black girl (or any WOC with non-straight hair) wears her hair (her OWN hair) differently from the last time you saw it, just by simply pulling it back into a ponytail, braid or bun....or wearing it out when she normally pulls it back.... IT'S A BIG PUZZLE and white people people somehow don't know how to proceed talking to her without commenting on how her hair is different than the last time they saw you! Guess what? Sometimes you throw your hair into a ponytail or French braid, from time to time, but you don't see me gawking at you with perplexity each time you do it! I'm sorry if hair that is not exactly like yours puzzles you, but have the sense to employ tact. We're not talking haircuts, color changes, texture changes, things that most people do periodically or occasionally to change their style. We're talking about simple "Oh my God, you're hair is SO different from before! You changed it! It's in a bun usually? Wow, you pulled it back! How do you do that?" Same way you do. Stop. Just stop. Just had to get that off my chest. I'm not trying to be mean, and I understand being curious or fascinated about things and people and attributes outside of oneself, especially if they are or have been underrepresented in one's life, but it is important that people who already may fall outside of the guidelines of "conventional beauty" that this society perpetuates, have the opportunity to just change a freakin' hairstyle from day to day without having to climb the wall of otherness/ethnic outsider status/explaining an attribute of her/himself as mouthpiece for their race or ethnicity or group of people...in a simple conversation with you. It takes a certain amount of privilege to not be bombarded with questions like this for many reasons, mainly that the visibility of your race and people that look like you is, and has been, historically high. This is not a blame game. Just think about what you may sound like before you start approaching people (or their hairstyle) like puzzles that you can't figure out, or new toys you're curious to explore. Because we're not.