I've been really quiet this year, and I know I'm sure you're tired of hearing this, but I didn't mean for it to be this way. A lot of things have happened offline, and continue to happen, and I am trying my hardest to keep my head above water.
I'm not here to give excuses, I'm here to say that I'm trying my best. I'm writing behind-the-scenes where I can. Believe me, every day I sit down and try my best to get something down in hopes of building a story for you guys. Some days it works, some days it doesn't.
My world stopped spinning, and then started again way too fucking fast for me to do anything about it. My goal for 2024 now is to simply survive it.
I can't say thank you enough to my besties @littledemon-lilith and @ofhawkinsandvecna for putting up with me. My brain has not been a fun place to be this year, and they've been right there with me to love & support me.
I'm working on myself. I'm building my life back. I'm trying not to let what happened keep me down. Some days that's easier than others. But just know I love you guys and I can't wait for the day I make my return.
To my TLB readers: Billy and Steve say hello. Billy waved Tank's fin hello to you all and let Tank send you all air kisses and hugs. The three of them are content in my Google docs, watching movies and snuggling and eating as many green grapes as a Little Billy's tummy can handle.
To my Saved from the Flames readers: Bob and Billy are reading The Hardy Boys and eating ice cream sundaes. Billy can't wait to show you the toys his Grandma and Grandpa brought him after his adoption! They love you and want to remind you to always look for the family you can create <3
Does little jolly not liking his hair in his face have anything to do with sensory issues? If so what are some other things that are just a Big NO for him sensory wise
billy’s a pretty easy-going guy. there’s not a lot that tends to upset him, at least not sensory-wise, when he’s Little.
the hair is a big one. most of the time he wants it up and out of his face because how is he supposed to play if his hair is in his eyes?!
and the other one is clothes. he hates anything he deems ‘scratchy’. denim is a no-go, it’s only pj pants and athletic shorts for little billy!
and he really doesn’t like wearing shoes either. he will if there going somewhere, but if he can be barefoot, he will be!
lord forbid they’re in the car more than ten minutes. billy will kick his shoes off if he’s feeling coordinated enough to do so.
if he’s not, he just whines and sniffles and cries until steve can reach into the backseat and pull them off while he drives.
it only takes a few drives for steve to learn to abandon shoes if they’re going to be in the car for more than a few minutes, instead tossing them in the floorboard to put them on whenever they get to where they’re going.
billy tries not to get grumpy when things dont feel right, but he can’t help it! it’s just too much for him!
but luckily for billy, most of his sensory issues can seem less intrusive as long as he’s got good sensory input
so he’s quick to self-soothe with his pacifier and his satin blanket, because that makes the icky stuff feel less icky
and stevie’s a pretty perceptive caregiver, so it doesn’t take long for him to pick up on the sensory issues and fix them.
Cute things little Billy does and Steve is just so fond of him
first of all, everything! so just jot that down.
but probably his most favorite thing is when billy first wakes up.
the way he always looks just a little bit confused but then once he sees stevie, he gets this sleepy little grin on his face. and then he snuggles as close as he can to the other.
and he loves it when billy tries something new. it doesn’t take a genuis to figure out that billy missed out on a lot of childhood activities growing up.
so stevie starts doing things like finger painting. billy gasped and spent the first ten minutes simply squishing paint in his hands with the most awestruck look on his face.
nancy and steve split the cost of a sandbox that now sits in the harrington’s backyard. it took some getting used to, but the first time billy dumped sand from the bucket into his lap and giggled, it felt like steve won the lottery.
they bought sidewalk chalk and billy spent all day decorating the driveway with wide, bright eyes and ended up with chalk in his hair and all over his clothes.
and the way he cried the next day when it rained really should make steve sad, but it just makes his heart swell that billy cared for his drawings that much. “don’t worry, love, we’ll do it again soon,” steve promises.
honestly, there are VERY few things that steve doesn’t find endearing about billy, let’s be real.
If big Billy is afraid of something like spiders for example, what it would be?
whether for good or bad reasons, billy is brave. now, he does get freaked out by stuff if he’s Little (like thunderstorms) and he sometimes has flashbacks to Starcourt and Vecna.
but everyday things? billy’s a champ. when max screams out that she found a spider in the bathroom, billy’s the one to kill it.
steve found a snake sunning itself by the pool? billy scooped it up and tossed it over the fence to freedom like it was nothing.
so the day billy shrieks at the top of his lungs and yells steve’s name, steve thinks the world is ending. again.
“what?!” steve gasps as he runs down the hall to billy’s room. “what’s wrong?!”
billy is crouched on his bed, obviously having just jumped up there. his face was pale as he pointed toward his dresser. “a cockroach just ran under there.”
steve can’t help it, he laughs. “what?”
“it’s not funny, steve! those fuckers are gross!” billy huffed. “please kill it.”
with a half-hearted shake of his head, steve kicked the dresser to see if he could dislodge the offending bug. as they waited, billy grumbled, “they have nasty antennas and you never know if they fly or not!”
“come on, bills,” steve laughed. “it’s just a bug!”
just then, a small brown bug no bigger than steve’s pinky finger jetted out from under the furniture, scurrying across the floor.
billy shrieked again, and steve was laughing so hard that his first stomp missed the creature.
“steve, kill the damn thing!” billy insisted. “i’m breaking up with you! i’m moving out! this is - OH MY GOD ITS IN MY CLOSET, STEVEN.”
steve was laughing so hard he was crying as he opened billy’s closet door, kicking around the boy’s shoes until the cockroach came scurrying back out.
this time, steve managed to squish it beneath his sneaker, and billy audibly sighed in relief.
“billy, love, you’ve faced literal monsters!” steve is howling now, blindly reaching for a tissue from billy’s nightstand so he could pick up the squished bug.
“and i’d do it again instead of deal with those motherfuckers,” billy grumbled, watching with narrowed eyes as steve carries the tissue across the room and into the hallway. a moment later the toilet flushed and steve re-appeared, still smirking.
“there you go, my little damsel in distress,” steve smiled, reaching for billy’s hand. still pouting, billy cautiously stepped off the bed and let steve hug him.
“thank you,” he mumbled in defeat.
“i’ll always save you from the cockroaches,” steve teased lightly, kissing his forehead. “‘cuz i looooove you.”
he also buys billy a can of raid for his birthday. no one understands why billy throws steve the middle finger and then laughs before pulling him in for a kiss.
The Day I Found You - Calum and Ashton (Pt. 2 of 2)
A/N: This is the second part of the Apocalypse series I’ve started, please enjoy! You can check out the other parts of this story HERE. Let me know what you think!
Calum had been driving for hours. Well, he used the term “driving” very leniently. Traffic had been so heavy that his speedometer had not gotten above twenty miles an hour at all this trip. He had stopped a few times when the puppy seemed suspiciously close to peeing on his car seat, but eventually he saw signs advertising a shelter and he began to follow them. It took another few hours before he pulled up in front of the large high school, but even moments after parking, he just had a feeling there was no room for him. But still, he pulled his bag from his backseat and pulled Champ into his arms. “Here’s to hoping, right?” he mumbled before opening his door, nearly hitting the car that had zoomed into the parking spot beside him. “Shit!” he hissed.
But Calum ducked his head and quickly made his way to the front door of the high school, and Calum knew just by the way the lady at the door smiled sympathetically that they had no room. “Nothing?” he asked. “I don’t even need a room or nothing. I just need a corner or something.”
“I’m sorry,” she said, as if it were coming from a script. “We’re all full. There’s another shelter a couple towns away.” Calum frowned.
“I’ve been driving all day. Are you sure there’s nothing?” he asked once more, and she shook her head.
“Sorry, love,” she said. “Good luck.” Calum just sighed and turned on his heel, heading back to his car.
“Sorry, Champ,” Calum grumbled to the puppy, scratching behind the tiny dog’s ears as he made his way through the maze of parked cars. He was almost back at his own car when another voice called out.
“All full up?” Calum glanced up to see a tall blonde boy leaning against the hood of the same car that had nearly run him over a minute prior.
“Totally. They said there’s a place a few towns up,” Calum sighed. “But I’ve been driving all day. Roads are nasty.”
“I know,” the blonde replied. “We’ve been in the car for what seems like forever. Luckily they’ve slept most of the way. I decided to take some fresh air while they were still sleeping.”
“They?” Calum wondered before he stopped. “Sorry, I’m just assuming you wanted to talk,” he blushed. “I haven’t talked to anyone for awhile. Except this little one,” Calum gestured to Champ, who was now walking around on the ground between the parked cars as Calum watched.
“My siblings. I’m Ashton, by the way,” the blonde reached out and offered his hand to Calum, who shook it and offered his own name.
“Nice to meet you,” Calum added. Ashton opened his mouth to echo the sentiment when the back door of his car opened, and both teens turned to see what was going on. Calum watched as a small boy pulled himself from the car, rubbing his eyes sleepily.
“Ash?” he whined, and Ashton slid off the hood to walk around toward his brother.
“I have to go to the bathroom,” the boy yawned. Ashton frowned and glanced over his shoulder at Calum.
“Hey, mate, would you have happened to see if they had bathrooms up there?” Ashton wondered, and Calum shook his head apologetically.
“It was all inside, and they seemed pretty adamant on not letting anyone else in the – Harry?” Calum’s statement was interrupted after he saw the small head peeking around Ashton. “Harry, is that you?”
“Calum?” Harry gasped, immediately running forward and hugging the boy around the waist. “Calum, hi!”
“You guys know each other?” Ashton wondered. Harry pulled away and nodded, standing close to Calum.
“Calum works at the rec center. He helps coach my team sometimes,” Harry replied proudly. Ashton nodded then looked around. Calum glanced down and picked up Champ, who had bumped into his foot a moment prior. Cuddling the puppy to his chest, he listened to Ashton sigh.
“Alright, kid. Unless you want to wait for us to find somewhere else, you might just want to step back behind the car,” Ashton told Harry. “It’s up to you.” Harry blushed as he looked between his brother and Calum, but then stepped away and Ashton stepped back toward Calum. “So,” Ashton’s voice was quieter now. “What’s your plan from here, do you think?”
“I think I’ll find somewhere to pull off for tonight and sleep in my car,” Calum shrugged. “I don’t want to drive all that way tonight. What about you?”
“Probably the same,” Ashton nodded. “I’m too tired to drive much farther. It’s…uh…it’s been a rough day,” Calum noticed the way Ashton’s voice trailed off and immediately knew something was very wrong. Calum didn’t comment on it though, especially when Harry reappeared and wiggled up underneath Ashton’s arm, letting the other hold him close.
“Calum, are you going to stay with us?” Harry asked innocently. Calum opened his mouth to reply no, there was no way he could, but then he met eyes with Ashton, who seemed to be considering the option. “Well, are you?”
“I don’t know,” Calum laughed softly. “What do you think, Ashton?”
“At least for tonight, I think we’d all like the company?” Ashton offered. “If you’d like to leave your car here tonight we can find somewhere to stay. I can drop you back here again in the morning, if we haven’t made another plan by then.”
Calum thought about that and then nodded, turning to his car. “Are you sure?” he wondered, making sure he had everything before he locked his car. “Only if you’re sure.”
“We should check with Lauren first,” Ashton realized. Calum nodded in understanding as Ashton held up a finger then opened the passenger’s side door, crouching in front of the door. Harry moved and leaned against his brother as well, and Calum watched as Ashton seamlessly pulled Harry close and continued to rub his arm while talking quietly to someone in the front seat. Then Ashton stood, smiling at Calum. “We’ve got a seat available if you’d like it,” he offered.
“That would be much appreciated,” Calum nodded. “I think I could use the company.”
“You can sit next to me!” Harry cheered, opening his door and climbing in, scrambling across the seat to allow Calum a space as well. “Can I hold your puppy?”
“Sure,” Calum laughed as he dropped his bag in the trunk at Ashton’s instruction and then ducked into the car beside Harry and behind Lauren, who was already asleep again. “His name is Champ.” Meanwhile, Ashton started the car and began to drive, looking for any place that would be hidden away for them to stop for the night.
“I like that name,” Harry commented, cuddling the puppy close and yawning. “Calum, did the police make you leave your house too?” he wondered sleepily, and Calum nodded slowly.
“Yeah, buddy, they did,” he said quietly.
“Did your family get sick? Why are you alone?” Harry wondered innocently.
“Harry! That’s not polite. You don’t have to answer that,” Ashton chastised his brother, then immediately addressed Calum as well.
“No, no it’s fine,” Calum smiled. He turned to Harry and shook his head. “My family is in America right now.”
“Oh,” Harry mumbled tiredly, his head lolling to the side and leaning against the window as he attempted to stay awake. “I wish Mommy just was in America.” Silence filled the car after that, and Ashton looked in the rearview mirror and met eyes with Calum, unsure of what to say, if anything. And that silence was just long enough for Harry to succumb to sleep once more, so Ashton said nothing and just continued to drive. And Calum stayed quiet too, wondering what on earth you were even supposed to say to something like that.
