Hey Sard! I just had an oral surgery and was hoping to get an imagine/headcannon to help me cope! I was thinking a Charlie and Ted poly (or just one of them will work haha!) Where the reader (preferably he/They or amab they/them) just had their wisdom teeth removed and are saying the most random and silly shit ever (example- I was convinced I was d_@d in the car home). And Charlie is trying to calm them down, while Ted is just provoking the Reader's drugged state 😂 Anyway, thanks! Love ya :D
this is such a fucking hilarious idea. one problem. im not taking requests so stop sending them please unless you're mutuals. im only doing this for comfort right now since my nights not doing so well
"Okay, say that one more time again for me (Y/n)."
Ted's grin was poorly contained, eyes filled with amusement as he leaned forward in his chair, resting his elbows on his knees.
"Th' fffucken seagulls. Coming to kill us all with their baby carrying beaks!"
"Storks carry the babies. Not seagulls."
"What!? Noooooooo."
You were currently laying on your back on Ted's couch, mouth swollen and brain essentially mush.
It was expected of course. You had just gotten done with getting your wisdom teeth removed after a few months of pain, something that was long overdue.
You had known you would be coming out of the dentist's office drugged and high as a kite, so you'd asked—read: forced—your friends Ted and Charlie to take you home afterwards, making sure that you didn't talk too much so you could heal.
Yeah. Only one of those things happened.
"Leave them alone, Ted." Charlie's words were serious as he awkwardly maneuvered his limbs to keep the ice pack in his hands on your face, but Ted knew he was just as entertained by your lunatic ramblings as he was. "They trusted us to make sure they would heal afterward. And I personally don't want to explain that the reason their mouth is bleeding again was because you wanted to hear about how seagulls are coming to kill us."
"Come on, you know they'd do the same to us if we were the delusional ones." He responded with a chuckle. Charlie rolled his eyes but silently laughed all the same, knowing he was right.
"Charles." You suddenly gasped, knocking the mans hand away feom your jaw and scrambling up to grab his arm woozily. "We're in grave danger. You must hide."
"..what?" He sputtered, halfway between laughing and scolding you for rushing up so quickly.
"Seaaagullsssss."
"Sit down (Y/n)."
"But the sky demons!" You cried, dramatically throwing yourself into him. He just caught you before pushing you back and looking at Ted, as if to signal for help.
The other man sighed, realizing that Charlie was right, and you probably did need to rest. And as much as he wanted to keep picking apart your brain in this state; he opted for getting up to walk over to the couch you were still on.
"Listen. If the seagulls come, I'll—" Ted paused a moment before continuing, remembering something he would say to Schlatt as a joke sometimes. "—I'll get the big fist to shoot them out of the sky."
You stopped mindlessly rambling at that, peaking open one eye to look at him skeptically. He nearly cracked a smile at your silly expression, knowing full well he would never let you live this down.
"Are you sure that will work" You slightly glared at him, dragging out the sure in suspicion.
"Very sure."
You didn't say anything for a moment. Ted's brows furrowed together as he waited for you to respond to him. It took the soft snores drifting out of your mouth for either of the boys hovering over you to realize that you had fallen dead asleep right in front of them.
"Oh thank god." Charlie sighed deeply before falling backward onto the floor with his arms and legs out. Clearly very happy that you had gone to sleep. "I thought I would have had to tie them down and force them to stop talking."
"Now that would've been funny."
"Shut the fuck up Ted and let me have this moment."
shadow felt awful. not emotionally ( ever since he left jail his life had been such a merciless rollercoaster of grief and utter confusion that he had managed to shut off all the horrible thoughts that had gone through his head before mr. wednesday ever showed up ) but physically. he had been driving for five hours straight, his neck felt stiff, sweat made his shirt stick to his armpits and back and, to wrap it all up in one pretty bow, the car his eccentric employer had chosen to drive them across the state had broken down. the ex-con had never seen anything like it; smoke spontaneously pouring out from the engine, like someone had put a CURSE on the old piece of junk. and judging by everything shadow moon had witnessed to up until then, that idea didn’t sound that FAR FETCHED.
he tried moving a few things around, let the engine cool off, all of those things people who don’t know much about cars do. a small RITUAL that shadow had some FAITH in ... but apparently he didn’t believe hard enough. the only place that car would be going was the JUNKYARD. shadow said they should call a tow truck. wednesday disagreed and pointed out that he had destroyed their cellphones. we can’t trust technology, he had said, it’s out for our blood! find us a cab instead. ––– ––– shadow didn’t bother questioning his employer’s sanity. NOT ANYMORE. ❝ how the hell am i going to find a taxi out here? ❞ wednesday shrugged and, for a moment, shadow considered strangling the old man. he didn’t. instead he spotted a house in the distance.
when he finally reached the porch, the ex-con was cleaning the sweat off his brow. he didn’t know how long it had taken him to reach that place but he had to squint to spot the car wednesday sat in. whoever lived inside liked having their PRIVACY. shadow just hoped the owners of that property to be kinder to him than the STENCH coming from the kitchen’s window was. shadow lightly knocked on the door and tried to keep himself from wrinkling his nose. what the hell were they cooking in there?
