#this is rather depressing

[anonymooseforever007]

Y’all know what I just realized that makes me a bit sad either way I think about it?…. Spoiler I guess for season 3…. Also this is kinda depressing and mentions WWI and WWII.

********************************** If John Shelby hadn’t died in season 3 he would probably have died fighting in WWII.

And on top of that he would have been the only Shelby brother to probably be drafted and have to fight into both World Wars…..

The drafting age for WWII was between 18-41 in the UK. From what I know he was like 17-18 when WWI started and he got drafted with his brothers. Arthur would totally be too old to be drafted again (almost 50?). And I know Tommy would have been like at least 45 when WWII started, but even then I think his head Injury and aneurysm (I think that’s what it’s was) would still have likely put him out of the draft even if he was like 40-41. And Finn was obviously too young to fight in WWI but he’s like going to be the perfect age to fight in WWI around 31 exactly if he was born in 1908.

But John would still maybe be right on the edge of the age limit. He’d still probably have a year or two left before his time is up. His sons would probably be able to be drafted at this point, but I can honestly see him voluntarily rejoining if it meant not letting one of his sons go alone. Or maybe since he already served he’d be called back since he already had “experience” He’d have to go through the same hell they all thought was over all over again.

And I don’t like that one bit. And I really don’t know how to put it into words, but as tragic as John’s end was, I’m kinda glad he dies before WWII began, so that he doesn’t have to go through that again.

I mean until WWI began they called it the Great War. The Not WWI because no one ever though anyone would be stupid (and evil) enough to start another one. Most people. didn’t think there would ever be ANY conflict that was ever close to getting that bad and hellish again. But just over 20 years later exactly…..

*****

And I’m just gonna stop myself right there because otherwise I’ll go on a tangent that I don’t have the time to write or the proper knowledge on hand right now to feel like I’ making an good argument. But there it is….

As much as I miss John Shelby, I personally would have found it so much worse if he had lived to WWII. Because I think his story would have ended so much more tragically then….

[alko-boom]

Dreams

I’ve had this idea bouncing in my head for a long time so it’s nice to have it out on writing. There will be a Part 2 to this, expect to have a different tone than this one.

For as long as I can remember, my dreams have been cold.

Cold, hollow, empty. There’s darkness, fog, spirits. Beings from another world. Maybe even this world. I can’t talk to them and they can’t see me. But I feel them. I see them wandering, searching for something. All in my dreams. They aren’t nightmares. Nightmares have horror, action, purpose. Nightmares wouldn’t be hallow. They would even make my sleep easier. But I don’t have them. Instead I have dreams.

Cold dreams. I don’t dream of unknown lands that might not exist. Lands filled with creatures and plants of the surreal. People of sorts, some not even human but still alive. Chatting, working, acting. All doing so warmly. Making me feel alive.

Hollow dreams. I don’t dream of exciting adventures. A whirlwind romance with someone I care for, real or not. Exploration of volcanoes, tornadoes, dungeons, discovering treasures and traps galore. Planet hopping and fighting against evil or working with the evil to eradicate all good. Giving my dreams purpose, fulfillment.

None of those come, just the same dream. Wandering spirit, souls? Fog and darkness, unable to see much. Except for one thing. A huge door. Ironclad and reaching farther than the eye can see. On it is a keyhole. One that can be reached. However I don’t have the key. I can’t dream it up. Despite being my dreams, I don’t control them. All I do is watch, look at the spirits, and the huge door.

Waking up makes the dreams end. But I still feel them. There’s an unfulfillment in my body, my soul. I do my usual morning routine but I don’t feel full. I don’t feel happy. Just empty. Not anger, not sadness, not joy. Just emptiness. Does my lack of dreams affect me that much?

I guess I’ll continue like this. There’s no way to fix them. I don’t have a choice.

If only I could fill that emptiness in my dreams and in my soul.

[harry-hightopp]

How it all became, and how it all will end. Character Map.

[poppy-gale]

It rains

I can't hide even if I'd want to. No sheltering between the sheets and pillows. I have a job, obligations. Things to do, people to see. I can't cry in front of others, especially not in front of kids. Hell, I don't even wish to cry while with my friends, let alone my peers. Out here, I'm the strong one. So now all the hurt is huddled up in a deep dark hole in my heart where the clouds gather. I think thats why its raining outside. It's not because of the fall. It's because of my fall.

[avotica]

I feel really below average and unwell. I took a mental health day today and hung out with my friend but I feel like it didn't really work because I still had to come back to my house where I don't actually want to be and don't feel comfortable in at all.

I just want to take people up on their offer of stealing me away because I really don't want to be here and definitely do not feel wanted here. 

[sixillusions]

hiatus :/

my parents were looking at houses the other day and by some kind of unfortunate coincidence, they met the mother of someone from my school who also happens to be in my grade. and people from my grade, including myself ofc, are having their study break rn, meaning we don't have to go to school but we're supposed to be spending this time studying for our HKDSEs (hong kong's college entrance examinations). the mother told my parents that she took away her son's computer and locked it up to ensure that he focus on his studies.... and now my parents are gonna do the same to me.

i was seriously about to cry and throw a fit when they told me that but then i realised that it's for my own good anyway. and i didn't have any valid reason for them not to take it away. but i guess it's ok. maybe now i can actually focus on studying instead of procrastinating all the time on the internet and maybe i'd get more sleep.

no laptop pretty much means no tumblr. i still can go on twitter using my ipod though so if you need me you can find me there but tumblr on the ios is really annoying and hard to use so yeah i'll be going on hiatus but there'll still be my queue c:

today's gonna be my last day with my laptop so i'll be spending that time filling up my queue, making a few manga caps and watching some anime. i was planning to wait for hakkenden to get subbed and then watch it but i think i'll watch the raws since idk when i'll get the chance to watch anime. and silje totally spoiled it so now i have to watch it. i hope i'll get to watch the final episode of psycho pass on friday though ;_;

anyway i'll be back on the 24th of april, give or take a few days idk. some of  the posts in my queue aren't tagged as queue, just so you know that i'm not actually here.

[meilinchan]

You reach out for someone, anyone, to hear you.

And when no one does, you just stop caring about everything.

Because why bother.　

[got-no-idea-what-im-doing]

I miss my dog.

I know to everyone else he was just a dog. But, he was the only person/thing that never let me down. He was the only thing that never got mad at or upset with me. At a time when I lost everyone, he was the only thing that loved me. He was always excited to see me. He always wanted my attention. He made me feel needed and wanted. I don't think anyone will ever understand how hard it was to put him down. How when they first tried to inject him, he leaped into my arms and screamed. How I carried him into the other room while he hugged me a whined in fear. How he stared at me, right in the eyes. How I watched the life leave his eyes. How I was the last thing in this world he saw. I don't think anyone would understand that this happened when I had no one.