i think my two biggest issues with the prospect of uni rn are honestly:
I don’t want to have a long term plan, which mostly means I don’t want to take loans out that I won’t be able to deal with. I don’t know how to plan around this and, like I said, I don’t know that i want it enough to learn
and then, sometimes I just think about how bad high school could get u know. I mean what started off with normal procrastination became barely studying, hating every grade I got (despite getting honours, I still dipped below a good range for uni & still hated them) having breakdowns, and feeling like I completely lost the ability to write a paper
In fact it feels like I lost or never had any executive function. Completely, like if I can’t plan and organize and have hindsight enough to write a paper, how the fuck am I gonna make & go through with big life decisions? Everything is this nebulous blur and I don’t have the willpower to begin parsing it out