Anger is not the enemy. Anger is a signal. Anger says, “Something hurts,” or “Something feels unfair,” or “I need a boundary here.” But sometimes, especially after trauma or emotional invalidation, anger can overwhelm you.
Here’s some suggestions I have for handling your anger in a healthy way.
Remind yourself that you are in control of your actions
You can be furious and still choose not to lash out. You don’t have to silence the anger, but you can figure out how to communicate it in a calm way.
Name what’s underneath it.
Anger is often covering pain, fear, shame, or grief. Ask yourself, “What is this anger protecting?” Sometimes it’s your inner child reacting to feeling unsafe, dismissed, or disrespected. And even if it is genuinely just anger, that’s okay, but it’s important to figure out if you can.
Communication
When expressing anger, I find myself saying things like
“I feel hurt/angry when…”
“I’m angry and I want to talk about it, but I am unsure of how to do that without being cruel. I need some time to cool down before we talk more.”
“I still love you but I’m struggling with my feelings right now. I need some space.”
Walk away if you need to
If you’re about to say something you can’t take back, step away. That’s not avoiding, that’s protecting. We often hear walking away is manipulative but that isn’t always the case. While walking away can be manipulative if the intent is to make someone feel bad or get your way, it can be an act of love to protect someone or your relationship.
Regulate before you respond.
Try cold water on your hands. Pacing. Screaming into a pillow. Journaling. Hitting a pillow or a punching bag. Playing loud music. Anything that helps your body release the tension before you speak.
De-escalate with compassion for you and for them.
Remind yourself, “I can be upset and still be kind. I can be angry and still be fair. I am allowed to be angry and I can express my anger in a healthy way.”
You’re allowed to feel everything.
Slipping up doesn’t make you bad. You’re just someone who feels things deeply and is learning how to hold that without hurting yourself or others. You don’t have to get it perfect. You’re allowed to be a work in progress.
Anger isn’t bad. You are very much allowed to feel it. The goal is to handle it in a constructive way as opposed to a destructive one.
Lloyd dealing with his new dragon instincts from the dragon form he got in season 4.
Please :3
INSTINCTS
"Are you sure there isn't anything you want me to do?" [Name] asks Lloyd, sitting outside of his bedroom. He has locked himself inside. It was very cute and childish. But it was kind of her fault. Maybe, she shouldn't have commented on the scales. But she loves them! They are so cute. And they are a part of him. And she loves all of him.Â
"Y-yeah," Lloyd says from the other side of the door. He shudders, looking at himself in the mirror. Bright red eyes. Fangs poking his bottom lip. Green scales on his neck, travelling down his back. And he's moulting too?! He hasn't moulted since he was a kid. Since he went through puberty. Why does her voice sound so heavenly right now? "I-I..." Does he want her close? No, he needs her close.
"Do you want me to get your dad?" [Name] questions, pressing her ear against the wooden door. Not that she can hear anything useful. The rooms are sound proof. A perk for living with ninja who all have advanced hearing. "Or your uncle? Or anyone? Do you want me to find your mother? She'll know what to do, right?"Â
Figuring out that Lloyd is in heat was not something [Name] was planning to do today. She didn't even know dragons went in heat. But then again, she didn't even know dragons were real until a few months ago. He showed her his dragon tattoo and explained his lineage to her. But the only pressing question on [Name]’s mind at that point was if her and Lloyd’s kids would come into the world as eggs or not.Â
Today, they were training but she noticed Lloyd was cracking his bones a lot more and he seemed to be more irritated, when he started boxing. He then took off his top because he felt hot and bothered. And that’s when [Name] noticed the scales.Â
"Uh, no..." Lloyd mutters, noticing his tail come out. It wiggles in anticipation, Lloyd flexing his hands. And now his claws are out. Great. This is so great. Could this get any worse? "Could...could you come in?" Why did he say that? Why did he just say that?! He panics, diving under his blanket as he matches sure to hide every new addition of him.Â
"Of course," [Name] turns the handle of the door, opening it slightly. "I'm coming in now, okay?" She slips in the crack of the door, closing it behind her. Her eyes narrow, adjusting to the lack of light in the room. [Name] raises her hand, little shimmers of stars scattering around the room, brightening it up. The elemental master of stars, ladies and gentlemen. She looks around before noticing a lump on Lloyd's bed. "Hey, handsome," [Name] hears something like a purr, making her let out a small laugh. "Can I sit on your bed?"
"Yes," She hears in the tiniest voice. Oh, he is so cute. She sits down, looking at the lump.Â
"Would cuddling help?" She asks the lump, drumming her fingers against the bed cover. "Even though you are way warmer than me, I could make you being hot a bit bearable?"
"Uh..." Lloyd starts, from under the blanket. Would that be a good idea? His face scrunches up, his hands flexing. "I'm not sure touching me would help-I mean you touching me-" Why can’t he speak? His stuttering has never been this bad before. "I mean, not that I don't want you to touch but...I do not trust my mind right now,"
"Hey," [Name] laughs. "Trust me. Trust my mind. I am the smarter one out of the two of us," She watches as the lump moves underneath the blanket, hearing a small chuckle. He would always trust her. "Open up the blanket. I will not look at you and just lie down and you'll cuddle me from behind,"
Lloyd lets out a small sigh, closing his eyes.Â
"Okay," Lloyd whispers, opening up the blanket. [Name] takes off the hoodie she is wearing, which is Lloyd's favourite green one. It's even more loved by him because she is the one who wears it. She lies in the blanket with her head peaking over it. And she is facing away from her boyfriend. Lloyd's hands find her waist with ease and he pulls her in close. He plays with the fat of her waist, kneading it. Why does she smell so good? Fuck. She’s so pretty. And she’s all his. Mate. Lloyd's eyes open and widen at the word, echoing in his brain. Mate? Mate her? Now? In this state? Oh, no. No. No. No.
"Hey, Lloyd...?" [Name] gets his attention, the dragon-oni hybrid massaging her the fat on her waist much slower. "Are these claws?"Â
"Oh, uh...yeah..." He sighs. He might as well tell her everything else he's acquired in this state. "I've also got fangs, moult scars, red eyes and a tail,"
"A tail?!" [Name] repeats, excited. Even though they don't depend on their hearts anymore to see their emotions, the heart on Lloyd's wrist is buzzing a bright yellow. "Let me see. I want to see it. Can I see it? Can I turn over? I want to see it. Please, let me see it. Please," He could never say no to her. But this is so embarrassing. "Please?"
Lloyd groans internally.Â
"You can feel it?" Lloyd suggests. "I'm too embarrassed for you to turn around to see it,"
"I'm comfortable with anything you are," [Name] starts before pausing. "How do I feel if I'm not going to turn around?"
"Uh...hold on," Lloyd backs away from [Name] slightly, twisting his tail towards her. It wraps around her thigh, giving it a small squeeze as [Name] lets out a small gasp of shock. "I’m sorry, I-"
"No, no!" She laughs. "It’s okay. It just scared me a little bit. I’m fine," Lloyd sighs out in relief, hearing her words. So everything seems to be going well now. "Can I ask questions about it?"
"Y-yeah, pretty," Lloyd stutters as his eyebrows furrow. He holds back a moan, moving closer to [Name]. Maybe, putting one of the most sensitive parts of his body in between his girlfriend's thighs wasn't such a good idea. But it's so warm and comfortable. And it’s all his. "Ask me anything you want,"Â
"Can you turn into a full dragon?" [Name] questions, absentmindedly touching the scales on the tail. It makes a nice pattern. Lloyd begins to purr, making the blond bite his lip to stop the sounds from exiting his mouth. He didn’t know he would do that. He didn' t know he could purr. "Or do you just have dragon-like features instead?"
"Uh...my dad said I could m-maybe," Lloyd says. focus on completing the response. Why does it feel so good when she does that? She's only trying to make him feel better. But now he feels horny and disgusted with himself. "Fuck," he mumbles, squeezing his eyes shut. "I'd have to, uh..."
"Are you okay?" [Name] lifts her hands from his tail gently. "Should I stop touching you?"
"No, I-I don’t want you to stop," He mutters, rubbing his head against her back. "You just…you smell really nice and you’re soft and you’re really pretty and just feel so disgusted with myself and-"
"Hey…" [Name] says gently, rubbing the tail again. "You’re not allowed to feel disgusted with yourself,"
"But I’m…" He’s hard. That’s what he wants to say. No. He needs to calm down. He is a ninja. She came here to help him. He is not going to take advantage of that. "I’m not in control of my thoughts,"
"What-"
"Can-can you face me?" He interrupts, [Name] nodding as she turns so she is facing him. She smiles, taking her hand and putting it on his cheek.Â
"Hi," She whispers.Â
"Hi," He leans forward, pressing his forehead against hers. "I can feel everything with these new abilities. And it scares me. It scares me so much, I-I’m scared I’m going to hurt someone or do something I didn’t meant to and I-"
"Hey," [Name] starts, nuzzling her nose against his. Dragons apparently nuzzle snouts together to show trust and companionship. "You won’t do any of those things. I trust you completely,"
"Because I’m the elemental master of life?"
"No!" [Name] scoffs, scrunching up her face. Lloyd moves back slightly, his ears twitching. He watches [Name]’s facial expression, seeing how relaxed she is. Seeing she is at complete ease with him so close to her. "Because you’re Lloyd,"
