You wander around. Going from place to place. Until eventually you find a puddle.
There sits a baby monkey.
You are small you realize, as all babies are. Smaller than most maybe. But most weren’t born from rock and shooting lasers from their eyes as you were.
You guess that makes you special.
You are alone now. Your subjects are somewhere you assume. There’s water nearby.
You look the same. But older. Still handsome as always. Maybe a lot bigger than before though.
Your eyes are still the same gold, and your fur is still the orange that glows in the sun.
You find that you're still special after all these years.
You were kicked out after you were caught gloating. But that’s ok. You don’t need friends. Or a master.
You were lost in thought and found yourself near water again. Deciding to lift your spirits…
You're still the same. Golden eyes, Orange fur, Devilishly handsome. Still small though.
Bigger than your subjects. Smaller than those humans you studied with. Smaller than…your master.
You shake your head. Don’t think about them. This is about you, not those dumb humans.
You're still special. Even if you got kicked out. Even if those dumb humans didn’t realize as such. You know yourself. They couldn’t hope to compare to you.
You're back home again. Not for long though. You have to show a certain little emperor his place. For treating you less than you’re worth.
You notice your near water, and decide that you need just one more check before the battle.
Still the same old same old. Devilishly handsome, Golden eye and Orange fur.
Oh? Are you a bit taller now? You think you are. Though you're not really sure.
Eh, it doesn’t matter anyway.
You're still special. You know that. Most don’t terrorise the dragon king for a weapon. Most also don’t erase their name from the book of death.
Wait… Would that make you double- no triple special?
You like yourself a lot more now.
“Stupid dumb buddha..and stupid dumb jade emperor.” You grumble under your breath.
You're stuck. As you were for a while now. Under this dumb mountain that buddha guy put you under.
Something hits your head. You look up, expecting it to be another of those stupid mountain spirits. Only to find…rain?
You dislike the rain. But it’s more welcome than the other things that came by you before. You notice a puddle forming near. Not a big one. But not a small one either.
Realizing you haven’t looked at yourself in a while. You decide to move what little of your body you can to get a proper look and…
You’re…different, than you were last time. Your eyes aren’t golden, but instead a blood red. Your fur isn’t orange but scorched black in most places from what you could see. Your upper body is full of golden scars.
No, that's not right. You can't look like-like this.
You’re supposed to be special and perfect.
This is-no it has to be a joke.
You blink. Your reflection stays the same. You blink again. It’s still the same. You blink and blink and blinkandblinkandblinkanblink-
No matter how many times you blink. Your reflection stays the face.
You feel something forgien to you well up in your eyes as they go blurry. Feeling something wet on your cheeks. You look at the puddle.
You’re not supposed to cry though. Special people don’t cry. But special people don’t look how you do either.
You turn your head away from the puddle. Hoping to escape your reflection as tears run down your cheeks.
Maybe you're not as special as you made yourself out to be.
You're sitting behind a rock. Nursing a headache from when that monk –Tripitaka if you remember correctly– Used that dumb incantation on you.
Looking up from your nursing. You see a river. You then realise you haven’t looked at yourself in a while. You're hesitant after what happened last time but… You find yourself walking over, plopping down, and then…
You barely repress a flinch from what you see. Black scorch marks and scars all over your fur, still blood red eyes, and that dumb circlet that monk put on you.
You don’t like how you look anymore. You're not special. You still look like a monster.
Then you remember something. Something some demon used to hide himself…Glamours right? Yea maybe you could try those.
Your scars are gone now, so are the scorch marks. Your fur is once again that same beautiful orange and your eyes that same shade of gold.
You like this version of you more. You're special again.
(Major fucking timeskip here cause I don’t have much motivation to write all that)
You stumble into your home. The chill from the battle still in your bones. You can still feel her your under skin. Taunting you.
In your mindless stumbling you find yourself in front of a mirror…again.
You look at your reflection and…oh, that’s not good. Your glamors are off.
You take in your appearance.
Black scorch marks, golden scars, blood red eyes, no circlet though. Squinting your eyes you notice something. A speck of white in your hair.
Something in your stomach drops.
Now you look more like a monster than ever.
You realize you were never special. You only deluded yourself into thinking so. You were always just a monster.
You hurt so many people and for what? Validation? Recognition? Joy? Look where that got you. Everything you touch is destroyed because of you.
Everyone you love is destined to hate or be destroyed by your hands.
You're just some egotistical monster that everyone is bound to hate.
You’re crying again. Monsters don’t cry. So maybe your aren’t a monster.
But if so…then what are you?
