#this will be fun.

[splongebobby]

heheheheheheheheeee

[sockatoothewafflebird]

chat i'm warning you now. Knights of Guinevere MIGHT become a hyperfixation. maybe. possibly. stay tuned to see if it really does or not idk

[expolikestoart]

There you are sweetheart, I was looking everywhere for you.

@anaroceitweek

[avaleon]

Short story about Danse and Reed.

Reed (being my survival mode character) gives about half his ammo, purified water and food to his companion to reduce carry weight. This includes fusion cores which weight a whopping 4lbs each. Reed uses them for his power armor and gattling laser, Armageddon.

So Danse and Reed are in Far Harbor getting stuff done and all of a sudden a fog crawler shows up. Tough, but no problem, they can handle it. I guess in the process they disturbed a hermit crab...which was fighting a deathclaw. Reed is running away a lot at this point as health regeneration is slow. He foolishly runs too close to the water and some glowing anglers. Danse on the other hand is being a boss. He took down the fog crawler and deathclaw before falling to the hermit crab. So Reed need to give his buddy a stim while dodging three anglers and a wounded giant crab. Mission accomplished. Hostiles vaporized.

So I go up to Danse and see he has the gattling laser equipped and check his inventory. Maybe he used one or two fusion cores.

No.

The bugger used all 8 he was carrying! 8!

And Reed has the one in his power armor which is at 10%.

So fast forward to my current save where Reed is stuck in Far Harbor with no power armor. His shotgun and 10mm. And his scribe uniform. He might as well run around naked at this point because gulpers can kill you in one or two hits.

We're just leaving Cranberry Island Bog.

Thanks Danse. Reed had some choice words for him.

[thegoldendemon-blog]

FALLING DOWN. | I

It never came without an uproar.

Irelia was lying-- how else?-- on her back, head to the ceiling with both arms strung over her chest. Thoughts came and thoughts died, her body motionless and still. The last she had slept was years ago. Her skin was her own; her mouth, her hands, the pulsing of Master Lito’s blade-- all hers. But that body never drew for rest, never balked at a tear in her muscles or a pop in her joints. It hadn’t changed from when she stood again on the fields of the Placidium. She feared it never would.

When Meiji stormed into her bedroom, the quick rapping of his shoes preceding him, Irelia Lito reminded herself to flinch.

“C-Captain,” he said, breathless while his hands cupped his knees. “Captain Irelia--”

“What is it?” 

“Outside. Outside. Please, come quick,” he wheezed. 

She was at full attention. “Meiji,” she started, now walking past him, “what is it? Are we under attack?”

“No, no.” His pants were dry and irritated. He had been running for a long time. “Not that.”

He leaned against the wall, his breathing shorter. “It’s, Captain Irelia, it’s...”

Her face was grim.

“The Golden Demon.”

A pitiable dawn was filtering up through the horizon of the Placidium. Morning bells, posed over Navori’s awesome hills, pitched back and forth as the winds pushed from the gaps of the valley down to the meadows below.

Khada Jhin’s handiwork was front and center.

Irelia knew it from the smell as much as the sight retched an instinctual gag from her mouth and ribbed in her gut. No-where else would she have the scent of strawberries and vanilla in the same breath as the rotting flesh of corpses. The spire was tall, interconnected and proud of itself. It took up space as if it were poised to become a permanent fixture, a sculpture of ivory pitched with spider-lilies.

Her fingers twitched. This was no sculpture; it was wanton murder.

She steadied herself and called to her men. “What happened here? Where has the Demon gone?”

Meiji was beside her, keeled over now from the horror rather than being out of breath. “Guards on duty said they heard bells ringing, then singing. They only got a few glimpses of the Demon and a group of people...”

He turned away from it. “... before the Demon disappeared and this in his place.”

Irelia stared.

No. That was impossible. The Demon was a man. He was not capable of teleportation, or bringing these damnable artworks of his into spontaneous existence. He took time. Time and effort that meant he could not attack somewhere as rife with protection as the Placidium.

The rotting stink overtook the strawberries in Irelia’s nose.

She stepped forward, Master Lito’s blade pounding in her fingers. The spire had to have been the length of several healthy men, no more than four. In its girth, amid the twisted entanglement of flesh and bones, she presumed twenty inside it. Perhaps thirty. She did not want to think what really could have been lurking between the thorns and red petals.

A scroll was neatly laid before it.

“These men,” she said, “are wearing the garb of the Order of Shadows.”

She endured the stink and the sight long enough to reach for the scroll and take it back. She unfurled it and read.

“What do we do with the bodies?” Meiji asked. She didn’t hear him.

‘To the thorn in my side: I beseech you, Irelia Lito, to think better of condemning me as a monster. Would a monster ask you to dance at the Dawning Festival? Make sure to eat well of the candied pork. Yours, Khada Jhin’

“Captain, the bodies. Captain, are you listening?”

The paper was crushed in her hand.

“Burn it.”

“And you, Irelia, Captain of the Guard, aren’t prepared to face a single consequence of what has happened?” Nomur’s voice shrunk around her like a vice.

Irelia, standing in the middle of the Council’s amphitheater, felt as if she were lost in a den of snakes. She imagined a glower on even the Duchess.

“The Demon has declared war,” she said, “for what he has deemed a personal slight.”

“A personal slight you waged, Captain.” He was out for blood. “And the letter is in your name. Yet the Demon walks.”

Her lips grew taut. “Just what are you implying, Elder Nomur?”

His arms were folded. “How long is it now until the Demon is allowed to take the lives of those who thought themselves safe in the Placidium?”

“He is not allowed to do anything, Elder Nomur! This work of his, it involves no-one of the Placidium. The bodies were from the Order of Shadows.”

“Really? And how does the Demon transport bodies from the Order of Shadows, days up into the north, to the Placidium with no-one noticing until this morning? Please, Captain, tell me you have some understanding of geography.”

Master Lito’s blade pulsed sharp. Irelia swallowed it down as she had her dignity. “We are investigating,” she said. “For now, we think it a work of magic.”

“As is customary.” He was unimpressed. “Do let the Council know of your official findings gleamed from the ash, Captain.”

Karma’s voice spoke. “The Dawning Festival, Elder Nomur.”

“What of it, Elder Karma? Myself, I think I speak for the rest of the Council when I say it should not go on. If the Demon can walk into our capital and leave behind an assembly of corpses, I don’t think he’ll let up of an opportunity to strike while the moment is hot.”

Irelia tensed. “The Guard will deal with the Demon should he make a second appearance at the festival proper, Elder Nomur. He feeds on displays of fear. We give him what he wants and he will only find a different way in.”

Nomur quirked a brow. “The starling voice of reason, again? And what if the Guard fails to stop him? The Placidium will go up in a panic.”

Irelia took a breath. The beating of her head and Master Lito’s blade were in sync.

“Elder Nomur, I appreciate the betrothing of your senility,” she said, “but that won’t happen.”

[jonathan-cran3]

*casts my temporary spell and POOF Beezblub is human for 24 hours*

They both were very confused and startled

"What the hell?- did you do-?"

"AAH WHAT THE FUCK-!?"

[tityre-tu-scurra]

Gonna embroider τέτλαθι δή, κραδίη on my backpack