They named me Chucklehead because th' Village Elder said that I'd make everyone laugh. Perhaps she was saving me life, fer she suspected me older brother's cruelty and jealousy. I was called Chuckle or Chuckface fer short, and I made it a point tae make everyone laugh because I knew that if they respected me, if they suspected any shred of smarts within this hard head, they would tell Thugheart, and Thugheart woulda get rid of me. Thugheart is exiled, but I fear him still. At night, I can still hear his cruel whispers, his threats tae kill me or th’ babby Hiccup. Hiccup was Hiccup II, fer th' first Hiccup Horrendous Haddock had learned tae train dragons fer Berk.
I am Chucklehead Modest Haddock, chief of Berk and second son of Grimbeard the Ghastly. I used tae live on th' island of Tomorrow, but that land is fer kings, nae foolish chiefs. I cannae read or write, fer my father frowned on such blather, so I speak me tale tae ye. I am married tae Buffintruda and we have tae wee babbies. I wanted tae name one fer me mum Chinhilda, and another fer Hiccup, but chiefs donnae choose their sons' names.
Hiccup, he caused trouble from th' start. So did Thugheart. Hiccup, ma babby brother, caused trouble th' way a hot coal shot sparks everywhere. He was born a runt, and runts had tae be left on the hillside. Mum wouldnae have nae of that, but Father took me babby brother and left him on the hillside. Mum then left to search fer the babe, and I woulda gone with her if she had told me she was leavin'. Father pretended to nae care, but he grew angrier, and softer. Thugheart ordered me tae ne cry in me sleep, and he would smear me face with ashes to check if I wore tear stains tae th' breakfast table. I was happy tae leave home as a young lad, and Father didnae miss me the way he missed Mum. I tried to find her first, but I couldnae. I found only the remains of her ship.
Unlike Mum, Hiccup came back. He didnae want tae; some dragons had taken him in, raised him tae hiss and spit at Vikings. Th’ Vikings that found Hiccup had tae lock him in a cage with his "brother" Furious, a sea dragon. I liked Furious, tae be honest, even if I could nae talk tae him th' way Hiccup could. Hiccup kept speaking tae Furious even when Father grew mad jealous and said “no Dragonese allowed”.
That was th' other trouble; Father was mad jealous of Hiccup’s other life, th’ life with th’ beasts, and Thugheart became jealous of th’ attention Father paid to Hiccup. I tried tae mediate, but Father never listened tae foolish me, Hiccup hadnae learned tae fear Thugheart or his temper. Thugheart pressed a blade tae me breast every time I begged him tae spare Hiccup from his anger, or he laughed at me. I was nae threat.
Thugheart, when he caused trouble, boiled inside like a mad teapot. He was Father's heir, prince of th' Wilderwest, and everyone knew what he said went. He plotted and planned, and whispered. Nae a dragon trusted him, fer Thugheart never yelled at them, and ye have tae yell at dragons tae get them tae listen. His soft words were more dangerous than the sharpest sword in Father's armory.
I tried tae tell Hiccup. I didnae want tae see Father go soft again. I told him that Thuggory was out tae get him. Hiccup was older then, handsome, and confident. He laughed tae me so distressed. That's how I remember him, laughing in th' face of doom. I hope he's still laughing in Valhalla, and not mourning fer his lost cause.
Of course, everyone in the tribe remembers th' fateful day, when Hiccup and Father were playing chess. Th' day th' dragons rose tae rebel, and Father thought Hiccup had betrayed him. I was fortunately away, so I didnae see me babby brother stabbed in th' heart by our father, or hear Thugheart's triumphant laughter, or feel th' ground shake beneath me feet when the Vikings started tae fight th' dragons. I didnae see Father try tae stop Hiccup from bleeding tae death, or Furious carrying th' babby away before we could properly bury me brother. Instead, I fought fer Berk. I followed Father's orders when Thugheart started his real rebellion. We beat me older brother, and I came out with nae even a scratch. I deserved more pain, fer my failure to save Hiccup and our tribe. Father exiled Thugheart, and saw us in ruins. He left, to die on the open waters, like Mum, and left me tae up th' pieces.
Father then buried his treasure with th' dragons' help. I kept none of it, only th’ boggy island on which I stand. He sailed off, but not before I asked one question. If only I had asked more.
"Why did nae ye kill Thugheart? He did worse harm than Hiccup.” Me voice was cruel, pained, and angry. I had never talked tae Father in such a fashion.
Father looked me in th’ eye, his sane moment in th’ madness that had caused much bloodshed. He had aged years in mere days.
"I lost two Haddocks because of my folly. I am not losing anymore. Promise me that you will stay on Berk, to sire a new king. Swear on your heart, Chucklehead."
I swore, and Father laughed one last time tae see me so solemn in th’ muddy bog. Then his ship drifted into th' sunset, like a hero's barge, and I never saw him again.
So I have stayed. I know now that I was nae meant tae be Father's true heir. I did nae ask enough questions, and I did nae protect me babby brother. I tried, but trying did nae save Hiccup from th' Stormblade , or from his questions.
I wished fer one of me babes tae be a runt, despite runts being bad luck, so I could name him Hiccup III, fer I suspect that only a clever Hiccup who asks questions can earn Father’s throne. Fate has nae been kind, or perhaps fate sees that I am still a fool fer wanting bad luck on Berk. If Thugheart returns tae Berk and threatens my children, I will rip him apart, fer revenge on our babby brother. Thugheart had everything a Viking could ask fer, and he destroyed us all. I would chase him down if nae fer me promise tae Father. Buffintruda agrees tae stay, and I will never break her heart. My wife survives, like me. We have made our children swear tae never leave their sons or daughters in th' wilderness, and tae treat their runt babbies with love. There are no more slaves on Berk, fer we have nae means nor spirit tae keep them under me rule.
Th' island of Tomorrow gleams in my worst dreams, fer it gleams of hope. When Tomorrow haunts me in sleep, I pray that a new Hiccup will be born tae th' Haddocks, inherit th' line, and become th' new king. I pray that his father will love him, and that his mother will fight fer him, and that his friends will support him.
I pray fer my brother's questions tae live on.
