I see you've stumbled into my neck of the internet. Whether by accident or cold calculation, i imagine you're suffering from a bout of extreme confusion, and that situation is not likely to be ameliorated by me going on pretending i'm having a conversation with you. So, let's awkwardly jump to a new paragraph.
Straight away i wish to set some ground rules. Firstly, most importantly, and somewhat contrary to popular belief, i am not perfect. In this blog i shall strive for a degree of accuracy rivaled only by the Encyclopedia Galactica (but not its slightly cheaper and more helpful cousin the Hitchhiker's Guide). But i am, again contrary to popular belief, human. If you spot a mistake, please gloat about it in front of everyone here, or be something other than an unremitting jackass and send me a private, probably more helpful message.
Less important than the previous point but more important than the next is: i am willing to write about topics based on interest of the readership. If there is a mystery you want me to crack, a question you want answered, send me a question (via the "What do YOU want?" link above or the "Ask a Question" tab below) and i will personally see to it that no query goes unqueried. If i don't know or can't find the answer you seek (gasp) then i will find someone more knowledgeable than myself who does, because, god damn it, i know a stupidly large number of practicing scientists. And remember ladies: nothing is sexier than a very good question! (Fellas remember that too, because this is an equal opportunity mess of opinions.)
Finally, we have arrived at the least important point of all. You suckers all need to know where my heart lies, and that is with the freaks. Largely this is because i too am classified as a freak in most states, but also because everyone deserves at least a basic modicum of your respect. It is not my mission to attack any person or group of persons for a belief they hold that i perceive to be foolish, and every argument will see its fair share of attention if it is rigorously defended by evidence in accord with the scientific method. So when, for instance, we come to discuss that special group of asshats who believe vaccines cause autism, it shall not be the intent of this blog to ridicule or vilify said asshats for being such steaming, rotten piles of horseshit. Instead, the focus will be on why this particular belief is wrong based on the mountain of available evidence, the veracity of the absolutely wrong, shockingly fucked up, possibly criminal? study that got the ball rolling in the first place, and on why such beliefs persist at all. I strive to open a window to the inner workings of the human mind wherever possible, and try to remember, calmly and rationally, that i too once was a credulous nutjob. It's hard not to be!
Next week: will the world end in fire and brimstone on winter solstice, 2012? Or do you deserve to be thwacked upside the head for even asking such a ridiculous question?
