Favorite Christmas Quotes
Jeff: “Merry Christmas, ya filthy animal. Gunshot And a Happy New Year.”
Sally: “I am a cotton-headed ninny muggins!”
Zero: “You’ll shoot your eye out, kid.”
Brian: “When Santa squeezes his fat ass down that chimney tonight, he’s gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse.”
Tim: “I’m gonna deck your halls, bub.”
Cody: “Nobody sent me a Christmas card today. I almost wish there weren’t a holiday season. I know nobody likes me. Why do we have to have a holiday season to emphasize it?”
Liu: “You say you hate Washington’s Birthday or Thanksgiving, and nobody cares, but you say you hate Christmas, and people treat you like you’re a leper.”
Sully: “I Have A Machine Gun. Ho Ho Ho.”
Toby: “It’s Christmas Eve. It’s the one night of the year when we all act a little nicer, we smile a little easier, we cheer a little more. For a couple of hours out of the whole year we are the people that we always hoped we would be.”
Jack: “I don’t know what to say, but it’s Christmas, and we’re all in misery.”
Natalie: “He’s an angry elf.”
Helen: “My balls are freezing. I never thought I’d say that with a smile on my face.”
Candy Pop: “Blast this Christmas music. It’s joyful and triumphant.”
Jane: “I myself believe that when it comes to matters of the heart, the only sin is turning your back on love because of what other people think.”
Kagekao: “If I could work my will, every idiot who goes about with ‘Merry Christmas’ on his lips, should be boiled with his own pudding, and buried with a stake of holly through his heart!”
BEN: “I’m going to buy them their Christmas turkey.” “Buy? Do you really mean ‘buy’?” “Yes, buy! In the Spirit of Christmas. The hard part’s going to be stealing the money to pay for it.”
Johnny: “You're skipping Christmas! Isn't that against the law?”
