What 2019 taught me
Feeling dissatisfied, sad, low and other negative emotions is very normal. Most times you won’t even know why you’re suddenly feeling this way when just a while ago you were having pretty much a good day. It’s okay to feel such feelings and it’s okay to not know why. The important thing to remember is to not have feelings about your feelings. Why am I feeling sad! I’m such a loser! NO. Feel what you want. But please, don’t have feelings about your feelings.
It’s good to stop and reflect on your life, on what you’re doing and is it what you want going ahead. I think that’s important. But being introspective about every action and thought, of every day and of every interaction with a person is the way to make yourself a. Go crazy and b. Lead a life of inaction. So don’t. Don’t take everything so seriously. Don’t take yourself seriously. I don’t mean this in a ‘do whatever. fuck life. YOLO. let’s be a narcissistic asshole’ sort of a way. But in a let’s be more in the moment, let a little loose and let things happen. And don’t put emotions into every tiny thing.
When shitty people behave shitty, mean people pass mean comments, friends who are always late are late...why do you get so worked up and frustrated? They are just being consistent with their personality.
You’re young so stop feeling burdened and like you have to settle. Whether it comes to people, work or who you are. Sure, maybe you will only live another 30 years. But even that’s really long to live a life that doesn’t satisfy you, right? I know sometimes quitting a job that sucks the life out of you is not a practical choice, but what if it is? Right now your expenses are not even 10% of what they will be when you’re 25 and out of your parents’ home. So walk out now so that you don’t later find yourself in a place you don’t like but still have to continue staying there because #responsibilities.
If the guy you’re on a date with says stupid things, you don’t have to throw water on his face and walk out but you sure as hell don’t have to go back and reply to his texts. She may be your only friend but if you don’t have fun with her then stop making plans with her. It’s only when you say no to things and people that don’t make you feel like ‘yes, I can be myself’ and ‘yes, this is exactly what I want, I feel so grateful’, that you will have the time, energy or perspective to find the things and people that actually make you feel that way.
The sky. Oh my god, the sky. It's the most brilliant thing that we mortals are blessed with. It's constant in its presence but never consistent in its form. It's art and it never once seeks our validation. It's beyond our reach but above us in a guiding sort of a way. And I don't say this to mean the north star or whatever. I mean, every time you felt dissatisfied with life - others and yourself - you looked up, no matter the time, and you felt a sense of calm and wonder.
This phase after graduation is so liberating and confusing. It’s like you spend so much of your life with everyone telling you what to do and then you forget that beyond an age and after a point those are only suggestions, even if aggressive, and that it’s you. It’s you who makes the call. Because it’s you who has to bear the consequences. And that everyone is living their own life. And no, you don’t know how to do this. I’ll tell you a secret…they don’t either. And you know why that’s okay? Because this is only your first life. How are you expected to know everything? But at least you know this – it’s your life.
Click here to read the remaining things that 2019 taught me.
