LOST JOHN'S CAVE, aka lost johns' cave, has to be my favorite episode so far.
before anything creepy happened, i was considering going caving. there's a certain vibe to it that makes me feel a lil spiritual or something. i loved the description of the comfort of the caves and the darkness ritual. i hate the dark bc of the uncertainty of what might be lurking, but the way she described it made me almost feel okay. not to mention i lowkey enjoy controlled tight spaces—the opposite of claustrophobia, basically. she was selling me on this.
the episode hit like no other for me, because i truly imagined myself when things got to be too tight, and no longer felt like a "controlled" tightness—the cave truly doesn't follow the meaning of the word, but at least you could control where you went. and they thought they had, but then the earth put them in their place and kind of went "you are not safe here" and i felt like I couldn't breathe when she was trying to surface, when she was in that tight space trying to crawl, and when she inevitably could crawl no longer because behind her was solid rock, and the front was too tiny to get through for a moment.
and the audio recording... damn. it all felt too real for me.
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after like a week, i still had this in my head. i talked to someone about this ep. and:
Just listened to the one last week and it has stayed with me! I wanted to write down my thoughts on tumblr. im not even claustrophobic, but it really got to me cause i was like oh that 100% couldve been me if i was in her position bc i love some controlled, known, or purposely-made tight spaces. but if i ended up in that position, where things were getting impossibly tighter and then i got stuck with a dead end behind me... dear god, i would panic
basically the same stuff i wrote here, but i really want to double down on how much this episode impacted me and scared me in a way that other episodes hadn't. not because they weren't hitting their marks, but more bc i was really intrigued by them, and looking at them from an outsider/researcher-esque perspective. this episode, i really put myself in the shoes of the sisters and it was the best/worst idea 😭 (loving this show sm)
ty for coming to my tumblr talk
written sept. 5th, 2023 & sept. 14th, 2023