Snuggled up with myself today. Yesterday was beautifully intense with meaningful time spent with people I love, celebrating life, grieving losses, and processing what it means to be human. I loved every minute, even the most difficult ones. All of it contributed to my awareness of myself and the world. All of it taught me about the kind of mother, friend, partner, co-worker, and citizen I want to be. This was after a week that has been full, full, full, nearly every minute; and while I am not necessarily depleted, I feel the need to be alone to process my thoughts and enjoy myself without any distractions.
As of 1pm, I am still in my fleecy red bathrobe that is thrown over my sweats and t-shirt to stay warm. I have on my fingerless gloves and several Klean Kanteens full of green tea, as usual. I don’t need to see or interact with anyone until my kids get off the school bus at 5pm, unless I want to. I am so grateful. You might be wondering if I have come to any grand conclusions, thus far, in my fleecy robe wisdom? Why yes actually, I have. It may make you laugh, and I am OK with that. After years of having a shared online calendar with my husband, which I plan to keep, I am returning to a month-at-a-glance paper calendar. I just decided this while mindfully putting lotion and wool socks on my frightfully cold feet, after nearly double-booking myself again. I did not double-book myself thanks to a co-worker who gently asked me something like this: “You remember you are out of town that weekend, right?”
Most of the sorts of mistaken double-booking that I do will be avoided with a month-at-a-glance calendar. Most of the errors I make with time in general will be avoided. I will still maintain the online calendar for our family needs and am a little nervous about having two places to put things, but I really really need to be able to see all my stuff written out on one page. When my husband reads this, his heart is going to sink, so I will say directly to him right now, “Don’t worry Darling. Trust me. This will be good for us.”
So now I have to decide if I am going to get dressed and venture out to buy said calendar, or order it from amazon while I stay here in my cozy red robe. Hmmmm…..