im tired of godzilla being big. we're done with godzilla being big. every movie he gets bigger. he's like the size of a mountain and it's no fun, he's stomping on people like they're ants, who cares. a tornado could do that. he's not a sickass dragon thing anymore, he's just one more natural disaster. the scale's meaningless.
i want small godzilla now. i want a movie that starts off with the scientists studying godzilla getting mixed up with the scientists who are inventing a shrink ray because maybe there was a fire alarm or something and now godzilla is the size of a fucking toddler and no one can contain him anymore because all their kaiju-sized containment devices are completely the wrong scale. i want to see godzilla loose on the town when he's shorter than a fire hydrant and someone could conceivably fit a cute little doggie vest on him. i want to see a destruction scene lovingly rendered with all the chaos and passion and full-throttle destruction of every other movie but what he's trashed is the inside of a walmart. i want to see him get dragged around on the end of a baby leash. i want to see him victoriously scale a playground slide and then scream his tiny godzilla scream like a little dinosaur teakettle.
the time has come for tiny godzilla. i believe this with my entire soul.
