Ruin The Friendship (should've kissed you anyway) || OP81 x LN4
Pairing: Oscar Piastri x Lando Norris (Landoscar)
Genre: F1 RPF, Angst, Fluff, Workplace Romance
Summary: The aftermath of Singapore GP, with some inside jokes & secret messages being passed along LN4’s & OP81’s IG posts, posing as their subtle love language for e/o.
A/N: Inspired by these lyrics from TLAOS by T.S.- “Be my NY when Hollywood hates me” (Elizabeth Taylor), “So many traitors, smooth operators but I’m never going to break that vow” (Eldest Daughter), “No longer drowning & deceived, all because you came for me” (Fate of Ophelia), "Would've been the best mistake, should've kissed you anyway" (Ruin The Friendship). Despite how much Mclaren & the internet tries, Landoscar divorce cancelled & 481s stay winning.
I was in no mood to post about the WCC, not after everything that had gone down in Singapore. In fact I was only on IG to make that one customary post about it on my story & then get the hell off it before the rest of the social media noise got to me. I could already see glimpses of the villain Oscar arc that some fans were expecting from me as well as the whiny driver narrative that the antis were pushing. I didn't want anything to do with either. I’d just focus on myself, on my drive & being one with the car, I had to trust that would still be enough to get me to my goal, even as it hurt to see external factors get in the way even when I was trying my best.
It wasn’t my fault, not even Lando’s, F1 was a team sport & if the team didn’t have my back… I wondered if everything I’d wanted would slip away after getting so close to it. It hurt too much to think about it so I thought of leaving my phone & going for a run to shake off the weight of the last few days. But as I was about to close IG, I hovered over the search bar, deliberating whether I should look up Lando’s profile- a habit I'd developed years before I'd gotten to F1. It was no wonder I'd liked his every post so far, way before I'd seen that Grill The Grid episode where he’d admitted he thought it was a red flag, which had made me stop from liking them afterwards but didn’t mean I didn’t still see each & every update of his.
Old habits died hard so I found myself unknowingly, clicking on his name out of reflex as it popped up at the top to see if he'd posted something. At first, I was disappointed to see the podium photos in his stories, wondering if it was that easy for him to celebrate with the team & not feel my absence up there. It pinched at my heart but just as I was about to leave I saw the latest post on his timeline, with the tune of a familiar Sammy Virji song that tugged at me. He knew that was my favourite artist, in fact that was a song I'd introduced to him. Under that song was a photo of him in the ice bath, looking too much like a Greek God for someone freezing in sub zero temperatures with his pretty greenish- blue eyes gazing upwards, looking far too soft & puppy eyed to ever be disappointed at.
Despite myself, I found myself melting & swiped to see the next photo which turned out to be one of us, celebrating the WCC together. Just like that, all the chaos in my veins settled down. The one post that was going to stay for longer than 24 hours, he'd made sure to do it right. I knew he'd done that for me, & I couldn't tell him how much that clarity stood out to me in the middle of all this strife. I may not be missed by McLaren, but I was missed by him. Maybe I didn't matter to them but this was a clear message that I mattered to him. To him, this victory was incomplete without me & that was the silver lining I needed from that day. I had joined this team because I wanted to belong in a way that Alpine had never made me feel, but I felt at home- if not with the team, then with Lando by my side & for now- that was enough.
Once upon a time, Oscar had a habit of liking all of my Instagram pictures but recently, that had been absent on my latest posts. Arguably, I hadn’t liked his posts too & I knew it had something with the media and fans making every like and comment bigger than it had to be that had stopped us both from acting that way. Usually, that was okay because I knew what his thoughts on any photo would be without him having to explicitly show it but this time, I wanted that validation. After what had gone down in Singapore, even though we had made up for it & he’d insisted we were good, when we were celebrating with the team outside the garage, I didn’t trust how accurate that was with the champagne & cameras on us. I knew Oscar enough to know that he’d always be professional & mature, I knew he wouldn’t hold anything that happened on track & use it to nurse a grudge off track… but this time, it felt more personal. It wasn’t just the racing incident at Singapore, it was us on the podium without him, it was Zak's lawsuit, it was about the few races left till the WDC was decided at Abu Dhabi, it was everything happening at once.
Though we’d promised each other we’d never let the title charge get in the way of us being teammates & I trusted that, I wondered if it would change our equation outside of work. Would I lose Oscar as a teammate? I was confident I wouldn’t, no matter the amount of rumors of him going to Ferrari. But would I lose Osc, as my person? That I wasn’t sure of and that scared me more. He meant more to me & somehow the thought of having all this success- a win on a weekend I’d been sick & at a physically demanding track like Marina Bay, a back to back WCC and a possible WDC soon, meant nothing if it came at the cost of us. I didn’t regret the hard racing, in fact I wanted him to fight me back just as strongly, knowing we both had it in us to fight fair & win based on merit.
I hated that everyone else kept pulling the strings & making decisions on our behalf, even when they dragged me back to the podium to celebrate the WCC, it was too late for to do anything under the loud noise, lights and fervour of the team. I didn’t want to dampen their joy but also it gutted me to stand there knowing Oscar was somewhere down there in the media pen, when he should’ve rightfully been up here next to us. I bit down my tongue & tasted copper, every time I saw one more post or comment about how we’d done him wrong. I was used to the internet hating me, but the thought of him hating me for the same made bile rise up my throat.
Surely he knew I hadn’t meant that right? He was my New York away from Hollywood, he’d always been on my side when the world wasn’t. He should know I never wanted to let him down or leave him out- not when he’d been the one to be my constant after all the traitors & smooth operators from my past. My latest post was a cry for attention, hoping he’d notice it. Just as I was about to fling my phone away, a scream built up from the inside at the frustration and guilt I was feeling when I saw his latest post.
It was a sponsor post about burgers, something so typical of Oscar- to post about his custom Grill'd meal, when the whole world was on fire & coping with humor and distraction. But I gulped down a sigh of relief, when I saw that post because what others didn’t know was who had clicked it- it was a photo dump that I’d taken of him at his Monaco home. From that Qatar Sprint portrait behind him, to the empty box where we had to pretend he had his burger inside, often breaking character & laughing before we got those shots, to the burgers I’d brought him to feast on right after we’d finished shooting for the ad campaign. It was one of the last few peaceful days we’d had in the summer break before the madness had begun again. It had to be a message for me, the same way my post had been for him.
I remembered that afternoon all too well, from the cool ocean breeze trickling in that kept messing up his hair, to the smell of salt air mixing with his chocolate scent, to the way he’d wiped the mayo off my lips when I’d been messily eating with a delicate touch of his fingers against my lips or the fact that I had to remind myself not to ogle at his tiny waist as it looked a bit too inviting in that cinched race suit. I remembered thinking to myself that the tagline for the campaign was all taste & no regrets, yet I regretted not being able to wipe that smirk off his face & fulfill my curiosity about what it would be like if I placed my lips on his. In the last few days, I was worried I’d ruined that opportunity for good, lost him in a way I might never get back. But this was a sign that I might still get that chance, it wasn’t over yet. Nothing about our situation was convenient, it wasn’t an invitation but it was an open door & a possibility for more- proof that we were good, that it was still us against the world. No one would ever be able to ruin our friendship, unless it was me doing it purposely because I wanted to kiss him anyway.