Don't stop trying to find me here amidst the chaos
Though I know it's blinding there's a way out
Say out loud, we will not give up on love now
No fear, don't you turn like Orpheus, just stay here
Hold me in the dark and when the day appears
We'll say we did not give up on love today
In which CPS agents show up at Tom and Phil's house...[takes place: March 1, evening]
@knightley--phillip
[cw -- child removal, allegations of abuse (there is none)]
~~ ~~ ~~
THOMAS:
Phil and Tom planned to spend the weekend practically in hiding. Tom had turned his phone off after his resignation speech this morning and, at home, with Phil and Levi--it could just be another normal day. Even if Tom couldn’t stop thinking about what was happening in the rest of Swynlake. Were people raising toasts to his demise? Had he lost all his friends? Was there, maybe, no point in staying in Swynlake at all?
For now, Tom didn’t want to think about any of that at all. He wanted to just…exist.
He played with Levi. Threw the ball for the dogs in the yard. Watched the beautiful sunset, red and lovely across the sky. Made dinner.
They were just sitting down when there was a knock on the door.
In which Tom and Phil decide what to do after the initial dust settles...[takes place: February 28, evening]
@knightley--phillip
[cw -- none really, ig discussion of cults, ugh this is just sad]
~~ ~~ ~~
TOM:
The house was dark.
The house was dark. Levi was asleep. Tom and Phil sat with a half bottle of scotch on the table between them. The only light bled in from the kitchen through the cut out into the dining room.
Tom couldn’t decide if he was more sad or angry. He took another sip of his scotch (what glass was he on? Two? Three? He’d lost track already.) to see if that would enlighten him. It didn’t. The alcohol only swirled around with the rest of his emotions. He couldn’t stop opening his phone to stare at the message. The blast that had gone out to the whole world.
Proclaiming Thomas Richard Edward Harrington the III to be a deadly and dangerous killer of Magicks.
Even though the evidence was damning, there was still a chance for…damage control. Though, Tom couldn’t find himself moved to do so. Maybe tomorrow, when the sun came up and the carnage was laid out for him to see plainly, he’d see why that would be important. But, for now, Tom was just sick of the shackles that he had been put in from childhood.
“Is it weird?” he asked, finally breaking the mournful silence to pour another finger. “That it’s almost…relieving?”
i. You can’t remember how your sister used to smell. She used to come to you, late nights when she could not sleep, and curled up at your side. You told her stories about brave knights saving maidens, chasing away her bad dreams.
In the end, the brave knight did not save her.
When you try to think of her warm scent, all you can smell is ash and flame.
ii. The sneer is frozen on your eldest brother’s face as his neck snaps. You hear the bones break. For a moment, he still looms over you, before he collapses, nothing but a corpse.
You remember when you were a boy and you looked up at him, tilting your head back to see his golden smile.
iii. Your father dies in the house you were raised in. You do not see how it happens. You left him a way out.
He does not take it.
Iv. You don’t see your remaining two brothers — just read about what happens to them in the papers. Neither of them reach out to you.
It’s easier that way. Probably.
Sometimes, when you cannot sleep at night, you think about what you might have said to them instead.
v. Your mother does not stay long. She never does, these days. You both know why, yet to speak it out loud would be to acknowledge it, and it is too painful.
Maybe one day, you’ll talk. The both of you. About your father and the men who came before him. About your brothers, who chose to follow him without a second thought.
About your sister.
Now, though, you speak about the weather, about the crisp November breeze that rattles through the leafless trees. Your tea is still too hot, so you take a sip. Your mother’s red lipstick stains the edge of her cup. She tells you about a movie she wants to see, about a painting class she’s taking, about the new exhibit at her favorite museum.
She held you, once, when you were a child and she told you that she loved you. That was before you started to believe that real men did not hug their mothers, before you built the walls around yourself to match your entire family.
You do not crawl into her arms now.
You smile and lift your cup and you feel thankful that you have her eyes.
(vi).
“Glad law school’s treating you alright, Johnny.”
You lower your voice when you open the door and spot a slumbering figure on the couch. Well, two slumbering figures: a broad-shouldered man and a baby curled up on his chest. Both of them snore.
You resist the urge to grab a Sharpie and draw a penis on the man’s face.
Instead, you smile and tell the person on the phone that you miss him before hanging up. Then, you snap a picture of the man and the baby, and head up the stairs.
Even the first week, the Christmas market in the Next Town Over was busy. Tom hated crowds, but he had a lot of people to buy for this year. Many, many people that he was grateful to for helping with Levi since he was born. Who hadn’t abandoned him when he’d accidentally knocked up some girl and ruined several people’s lives in the process. And, he especially needed gifts for Levi.
He was only going to be about seven months by Christmas, but Tom wanted to make sure that he had a good one anyway. Wanted to provide as much as he could for him, considering the circumstances of his birth had been rather shitty. Maybe Tom was overcompensating, but he didn’t think that was so bad.
“Which one do you like, hm, Levi?” he asked, kneeling in front of the stroller and waving two toys gently in front of the baby. After a few seconds of disinterest, he looked up at Phil, who was pushing the stroller.
“Which one do you think?” He held them up a little higher for Phil to examine.