Do you hate Tony? People have made me bitter today. Some people think you would approve of Tony being ridiculed in your name like sending people messages (example: me) that says stuff like "Don't forget Steve Rogers despises Tony Stark don't talk about them like their friends" and "if you like Tony you can't honestly like Steve too he hates Tony and he would hate you too" and it makes me unreasonably upset. (these messages we're within 5 minutes of each other and I don't think its a coincidence)
Do I hate Tony Sta….ahahahahahahaha
Does it look like I hate this fella?
Okay kid what I need you to remember is one thing about physics and two things about other people.
1. Thing About Physics: Bruce tells me there are infinite multiversal modalities concurrent but not conjugal, which means that there are a neverending number of universes out there all living squashed up side by side, and new ones spring up all the time. I don’t even EXIST in all of those universes (they must be pretty boring) but in the ones I do, I might not be Captain America! I might run a food truck or be an actor in superhero movies or even be part cyborg. And in some of those universes maybe I don’t like Tony Stark, maybe I even hate him, but I think in that universe I couldn’t possibly even be me, and he couldn’t possibly even be him, so what’s it matter? What I’m sayin’ is that there are plenty of universes out there but I live in this one, where Tony and I are pals, and nobody can call me a liar ‘cause this is my universe. We had a rough start and we fight and sometimes we don’t have the same opinions about things, but at the end of the day you’d need a pretty strong crowbar to pry that friendship apart. And lemme tell you Clint’s done some universe hopping and he says we’re friends in all the ones HE visited too. And also he said that was a weird question and could I leave him alone with his Pumpkin Spice Cheerios now.
2. First thing about other people: lotsa people get ideas in their heads that ain’t harmful as long as they don’t try to press ‘em onto others, but lotsa people also get real anxious and upset if you don’t believe exactly the same as them, and they start projecting what THEY feel onto other people as a way of justifyin’ it. I think it’s awfully wrong of a person to tell someone else what I’d believe or feel about something without asking me first. Just ‘cause someone says I’d hate something don’t make it so. Especially with all these different universes flying around.
3. Second thing about other people: a lot of the time they ain’t shit. You know how many people I’ve told to go fuck themselves? No and neither do I on account of I lost count around the age of five. Millions probably, how many Nazis were there in the war? Google says about 13 million so let’s go with that, I’ve told over 13 million people to go fuck themselves and YOU CAN TOO! It’s free and feels great!
So if someone talks to you like that when you can obviously see they’re irrational ‘cause they’re insecure that you like something they don’t, you just remind yourself Captain America said a) they ain’t shit and b) go fuck themselves.
And if you’re still feeling bad I recommend getting yourself a Coca Cola or a Jello cup or a Chick O Stick Bar or whatever it is you like and enjoying the hell out of it. People like that hate it when other people enjoy stuff.
Do I hate Tony Stark. Honestly.
