what episodes of Steven Universe had the best messages and lessons in your opinion
I don't think of Steven Universe as one of those overtly "message"-oriented shows. And sometimes it'll even "teach" a different lesson in one episode versus another (e.g., sometimes Steven's patience and willingness to trust earns him a new friend, and sometimes it bites him right in the ass--very true to life, that!). But it does just so happen that shows with less conspicuous "moral of the story" setups also tend to have more holding power with the lessons we do learn from them on a more subconscious level.
Three of my favorite lessons from Steven Universe that I don't see discussed super often are Garnet's messages about love in "Love Letters," Amethyst's reaction to an apology in "Too Far," and Peridot's character growth as assisted by fandom in "Log Date 7 15 2."
Love Letters
My blog is named after the "Love Letters" line for a reason. Despite not really being one of my favorite episodes, per se, "Love Letters" has some of my favorite subtle messages.
This episode differs from the common storyline of "boy likes girl, boy pursues girl, girl is hesitant but decides it's kind to give him a chance, girl finds out the boy was right to pursue her against her will and they fall in love."
Instead, Garnet's got her own stuff going on, and when Jamie suddenly becomes fixated on her after seeing her once (and mistakes it as love!), she finds it completely inappropriate and writes him a message with a very blunt "no." She already knows he doesn't know her. She already knows a lot about HIM based on the fact that he's supposedly "in love" with her because he looked at her. Even if she wasn't already in a romantic situation that, for her, couldn't include him, she wouldn't appreciate some guy approaching her that way. It's a non-starter, and she said so.
The kids Connie and Steven, soft-hearted types who sympathize with Jamie and don't want him to feel rejected, try to soften Garnet's message, but he misinterprets it as the opposite and believes Garnet is into him too. She then DIRECTLY tells him she is not and will never be interested. Jamie falls apart, neglects his job, and later begs Garnet to go on a date with him anyway despite that she's said no. He just fundamentally does NOT get it.
Garnet shouldn't have to do this, but she chooses to set Jamie straight. She tells him he is NOT in love with her, that love takes time and love takes work, and that you have to at least KNOW the other person, which he does not. (He doesn't even know she's an alien, or that she's not a woman in the traditional sense despite using she/her pronouns, or, more importantly, that she exists as a living embodiment of Ruby and Sapphire's relationship.) She then proceeds to not accept any responsibility for his romantic future and tells him to pursue his acting career. And throughout the rest of the series, Garnet never engages meaningfully with Jamie again.
This episode lets her do that.
This episode shows us that "no" is enough, and though the children tried to soften the blow, they at least did not ever blame Garnet for not c'mon just letting Jamie take her out. Nobody tries to teach Garnet--or the audience--that Jamie's poor broken heart is now her fault and her responsibility to heal. Some may have seen her as unnecessarily gruff or blunt, but Garnet's like that about most things. And honestly, I feel her on that; being a woman who's had far too many men try to make their crush my problem, it is infuriating sometimes that you're just trying to live your life, happy, with your own stuff going on, and suddenly there's this dude standing in your path forcing you to make time for something that's going on in his head only.
Being kind is great, but where is the consideration for how the woman feels being pursued by some dude who knows nothing except that he must have her? Our society encourages men to bother women incessantly, to "be persistent," to assume women are incapable of knowing what they want and must be forcefully guided back to their purpose (which is to be led and controlled by whatever the hell men decide they want without women being consulted whatsoever). Our media is partially at fault for teaching men that it's romantic to be persistent in a way that actually would make them a freaking stalker in real life. Jamie showed up outside Garnet's HOUSE and was yelling up at her in the rain at night, insisting that she said she loves him too! That ain't cute!
This episode lets the opposite message live. It shows Jamie as misguided, falling like a ton of bricks just because he thought she was hot. It didn't validate his attraction or saddle Garnet with an obligation to go to the Crab Shack with him just to humor him. It gave Garnet space to declare an echoingly obvious "no," and it let her walk away to more important things after telling him he doesn't even understand how love works.
"Love Letters" is to be praised for having that message at its center: "You aren't obligated to entertain other people's romantic notions just because they expressed them, and 'no' is a complete sentence."
Too Far
In this episode, Peridot is being forced by circumstance to work with the Crystal Gems despite her Homeworld alignment, motivated by fear and the need to save her own skin. She's slowly developing relationships with each Crystal Gem, and now that she and Steven basically trust each other and Pearl is somewhat reluctantly working with her, she's on to gaining Amethyst's trust. And she blows it. Big time.
She goes too far making jokes about Amethyst's origin, making fun of her height, poking her in a sensitive spot, and then she's unable to read the room well enough to understand that she's really hurt Amethyst. Peridot claims she "was being cool" (as she understood it), and to be fair, Amethyst is definitely in the "can dish it out but can't take it" stage of her journey. But Peridot was definitely wrong to do it, and instead of apologizing when Steven explained why her actions were harmful, Peridot dug her heels in and doubled down. Amethyst dealt with it in a way we've rarely seen: she got sullen and quiet instead of exploding, leaving Peridot with little idea of how to help.
Something happens. A dangerous incident puts Amethyst's life in danger and Peridot is in the right place at the right time to save her. She does it, hardly without thinking, and Amethyst isn't injured by the giant out-of-control drill head mowing over her.
And what's really, really important is that this doesn't fix things.
Peridot saving Amethyst was great, but it doesn't address what Amethyst was mad at her about. Too often in media--especially kids' media--a person who has transgressed decides independently on a path to "make it up to" the wronged party, and then the wronged party is supposed to be happy and forgive just because, I don't know, the transgressor made them a handmade gift (even though the "crime" involved saying something mean about their brother).
Amethyst was right to still be mad, even though Peridot had made a grand gesture.
You don't see a lot of media that gets this right. Peridot still had to figure out the source of the hurt, initiate a heartfelt apology that acknowledges the violation and expresses a desire to do better, and not spend the whole apology defending her actions or making excuses.
I have apparently “hurt” Amethyst’s “feelings,” which was not my intent. If I’ve damaged my standing with the best Gem here, then I’ve made a serious mistake. I’m still learning. I hope you understand. I want to understand. I’m sorry.
It's not a perfect apology, and it's delivered via prepared statement through her voice recorder, but Peridot has declared that she's ready to try and that Amethyst is worth that to her. She likes Amethyst. She regrets hurting her. She did not understand what she was doing, but she wants to. Saving her life didn't address the harm she had done. Apologizing to her did.
I love that Amethyst wasn't bullied into feeling indebted to Peridot or making nice with her after she rescued her. I love that Peridot needed a little push to get it right--one that she initially rejected (from Steven)--but that she took that perspective into her silence and gave it her respectful attention, coming up with this apology at the end. And I love that this was the foundation of them cultivating a special bond, which turned into the Shorty Squad and involved these Gems supporting each other through hard times.
"Too Far" is a great example of a genuine apology, and of a character being allowed to still have her feelings about an unresolved violation even though she was also a recipient of a good deed. This episode lets that complex interaction breathe.
Log Date 7 15 2
Airing shortly after "Too Far," this episode completes Peridot's incorporation into the Crystal Gems. By this point, she has connected with every other Gem in the group on some level--trusted and encouraged by Steven, grudgingly respectful of Pearl, developing camaraderie with Amethyst--but she's still having trouble with Garnet. She just does not understand Garnet. Why the hell is she fused all the time?
We come to find out that where Peridot comes from, fusion is only used for fighting. Peridot can't fathom any other reason for two Gems to stay fused, and Garnet's just walking around as a Fusion of two Gems for no apparent reason. Peridot can't help but take that as a threat. Seeing a Fusion means there's gonna be a fight. She takes it as an aggressive posture. As a warning. And she's not wrong that Garnet's got her eye on her. Evaluating. Not letting her get away with too much.
It just so happens that her being a Fusion has nothing to do with that.
Garnet stays fused because her components, Ruby and Sapphire, are in love, and they want a shared life. Becoming an entirely new person together is a possibility for Gems, and that's what these two have chosen. Garnet is the result of that. And nothing even in the neighborhood of that kind of relationship has ever entered Peridot's experience. So even when presented with evidence to the contrary, Peridot still sees Garnet as an embodiment of violence.
But then Peridot watches a cheesy show called Camp Pining Hearts: a program Steven introduces her to so she can understand Earth a little better. She immediately fixates on the show and becomes a superfan, intimately familiar with the content she's seen and developing super in-depth theories about camper characters' compatibility. She's got charts and illustrations. She's got STRONG feelings about who should be together (and it's NOT the ones the creators of the show have written, that's for sure). Percy and Pierre are the objectively correct couple! Who cares if Paulette likes Percy on the show? He's meant to be with Pierre! PERIOD!
Later in the episode, Garnet tries to level with Peridot. She tries to help Peridot understand fusion. One way to learn is by doing. Garnet proposes fusion to Peridot.
She is initially open to this, but for her own reasons, Peridot is not able to go through with fusion. However, Garnet congratulates her anyway and says she's proud of Peridot for trying to understanding her.
"But I still don't understand you!" Peridot shrieks. "Why are you fused all the time??"
"I'm Percy and Pierre," Garnet says quietly.
Peridot's reply?
"OHHHHHHHHHHH."
She softly pounds one fist into the other, punctuating her realization.
THIS is what helped her get it.
Not hearing an explanation from Garnet. Not doing it herself. Not interpreting from real-life cues or asking others to spell it out to her. It finally all made sense when Garnet compared her relationship to one Peridot understood through fiction.
Peridot more readily absorbed ideas and concepts from a SHOW than she did from seeing it in the real world! She was one of those people who needed it in a box, in a fictional context, to make sense of it and develop feelings about it. She saw that the creators had their own intentions for Paulette to be with Percy, but she knew in her heart that Pierre was the right camper for Percy. Garnet saying "I'm Percy and Pierre" put it completely into context for her. Garnet is also a relationship that exists in defiance of her creators, but objectively speaking, nobody can deny that they're the best for each other.
Sometimes it's fiction that helps us understand something we didn't previously. Maybe we're first exposed to the concept through fiction and then later when we encounter it in real life, we have context. Or sometimes we had one opinion about a lifestyle or a population only to see it portrayed differently (more sympathetically? more realistically?) in our media and we start to get a different set of opinions, a different insight. Sometimes seeing it in an organic context in the media we consume does FAR more than would a lecture in a class or a callout from a stranger.
This episode uses being fandom trash as an essential vehicle of dispelling bigotry and I cannot think of a better way to convey that message.
