#toolbox bros

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@trumpetandtrombone inspired me to watch the Princess Bride because I am a bad pop culture fan and I had only seen it one time in high school and I couldn’t really remember what it was about. And like with all things I made a wrenchers headcanon about it (and jess helped)

Scenario 1: Numbers is on a mission to kill his rival, a hitman from another syndicate. Numbers has never cared enough about someone to kill for them, so this isn’t a revenge thing- it’s just that this rival hitman is really really incredibly annoying and Numbers can’t stand him. Wrench thinks the rivalry is childish, and he can never convince Numbers that he’s being irrational (which annoys Wrench because Numbers thinks any type of revenge killing is irrational) but he helps Numbers track down his rival anyway.

Scenario 2 (and this one is depressing on two accounts): Back when Wrench and Hammer were doing small-time work, one of their jobs went wrong and Hammer ended up getting shot and killed. The killer got away, and Wrench made it his life’s mission to avenge his brother’s death. Years later, he met Numbers, and when they got close he told him about Hammer and his plan to kill his murderer. After he had a few beers in him he’d tell Numbers stories about Hammer, and Numbers would say, “that guy sounds like a real asshole. Why are you getting revenge for him again?” and Wrench would say “it’s just something I have to do.” He eventually found and killed the guy, with Numbers’ help (and a little help from the Aussie and his file room, after some bribery) and he was finally at peace. Until he and Numbers paid a visit to Bemidji, and Wrench was the only one who made it back. He contemplated seeking revenge on Malvo for what he did. But where Hammer’s death filled him with rage that fueled him to find and kill the man responsible, Numbers’ death left him empty and defeated. If the idea of killing Malvo had brought him any joy, maybe he could have mustered up the energy to try to achieve it. But with Numbers gone, Wrench’s life had been reduced to shades of grey, and like everything else, the thought of Malvo suffering had no effect on him. So he did nothing. 

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AU where Hammer and Wrench aren’t twins, Hammer is one year older than Wrench. Otherwise though, their relationship is just the same as how we usually characterize it. One day they find out that they’re not actually biologically related- Hammer is a product of their dad’s previous relationship and Wrench of their mom’s previous relationship. Wrench has been thinking about ditching Hammer for a long time because he's such an asshole, and now that he knows they’re not related by blood, he has no real reason to stay with him. But Hammer stops Wrench before he can leave and convinces him that they’re still brothers and they don’t have anything besides each other.

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Along with my headcanon that Hammer’s name is Marion, and Tim’s addition that he tried to convince people his name was actually Marlon: what if Mama and Papa toolbox pulled something similar to what the Stan twin’s parents did on Gravity Falls and gave the bros almost identical names, Marion and Marlon. And Hammer is incredibly jealous that his brother shares a name with a swordfish, while his name makes him sound like a grandma.

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Happy Leap Day everybody! Have a holiday headcanon: Hammer was born just before midnight on February 29th, 1972, and Wrench was born shortly after on March 1st. This means that although Hammer is a few hours older than Wrench, technically he has only had 1/4 of the birthdays Wrench has. On non-leap years, Hammer celebrates his birthday along with Wrench on March 1st, and although they do a few things in celebration, they don’t make a huge deal out of it. However when February 29ths roll around, the boys party as hard as their mortal bodies will allow them to.

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Wrench and Hammer grew up in foster care. They moved from home to home many times throughout their childhood, and each time Child Services made sure to keep the two of them together. When they were 15, the house they’d been living in fell onto hard times and the twins had to move, and child services couldn’t find a home that they could both live in. Instead of separating, they ran away.

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Teenage Wrench is thinking about coming out to Hammer, but he has no idea what his brother will think so he casually mentions something pertaining to men who like men to gage his reaction. Hammer has never suspected Wrench of being gay, but he’s been having all these weird feelings towards guys himself and he thinks Wrench is trying to tell him he knows all about his dirty little secret.

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Psychoanalysis headcanon: When Wrench and Hammer were kids their parents would argue loudly. Wrench didn’t know what their parents were saying but he could still tell that they were yelling and it made him feel bad, but Hammer heard almost every word of their fights and it really affected him. Wrench would ask Hammer to tell him what they were fighting about, and Hammer would give him a vague overview but he wouldn’t go into detail because he didn’t want Wrench to hurt the way he did. Hammer didn’t want to burden Wrench with any of his other problems either, so he kept his emotions pretty much to himself, and Wrench, seeing how reluctant Hammer was to talk about sensitive stuff, bottled up his feelings as well. However where Wrench is capable of working through his issues without talking to anyone about them, Hammer would just pretend everything was fine, and his problems never actually went away. This (as well as a lot of other stuff probably) led to Hammer being the more insecure and emotionally stunted twin.

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collab with @trumpetandtrombone:

Wrench is fed up with Hammer- he’s an asshole who ruins all of his relationships before they even start. So when he meets Numbers, he decides that he’s not gonna let Hammer mess this one up, so he tells Numbers he doesn’t have any siblings. For the next few weeks, Wrench is extra careful to make sure that Hammer and Numbers don’t meet each other, and it’s some of the best weeks of his life. Without his brother antagonizing Numbers, Wrench can actually enjoy his time with his new boyfriend, and since Hammer thinks he’s single, he doesn’t have to put up with Hammer’s constant nagging, asking “when are you going to break up with that loser?” But all good things must come to an end: one day Numbers comes home to his and Letters’ apartment and sees Hammer (who he at first assumes to be Wrench) making out with Letters on their living room couch.