when they fail to break a cycle they hold a funeral for clancy. everytime. they know there will be another one. if they don't break the cycle it continues. but they remember each one. the torchbearer has a tally tattoo, everytime he still believed, everytime it didn't work out. they plant flower seeds. they don't treat it as licking their wounds, they treat it as celebrating their lives and every life that has escaped the throes of vialism. they stay up late into the night, telling their fondest memories and looking at the stars. and then they move on. they can move on. torchbearer never moves on. never. he remembers every last one. the details are etched into his skull. he runs, he works on being faster and faster, he knows if he can just get there faster next time then clancy won't be alone. he mourns them all.
