#toseefeelingly

[toseefeelingly]

A note to new followers!

Hello! I moved URLs about a month ago. If you'd like to see my updates, follow me here. :3

[raemanzu]

Robots, Indecision, and Internal Blockages

I was looking at some old journal entries from last year when I was rereading Robots and Empire, and I stumbled on this gem of musings, where I related my love for Robots to my religious feelings and also my feelings about the Sandy Hook Elementary school shooting. Yeah, kind of a weird conglomeration of topics but I figured it might be interesting to some of my followers

Daneel said, "After a long time, I decided that the Three Laws govern the manner in which my positronic pathways behave. At all times, under all stimuli, the Laws constrain the direction and intensity of positronic flow along those pathways so that I always know what to do. Yet the level of knowledge of what to do is not always the same. There are times when my doing-as-I-must is under less constraint than at other times. I have always noticed that the lower the positronomotive potential, then the further removed from certainty is my decision as to which action to take. And the further removed from certainty I am, the nearer I am to ill-being. To decide an action in a millisecond rather than a nanosecond produces a sensation I would not wish to be prolonged."

"What, then, I thought to myself, madam, if I were utterly without Laws as humans are? What if I could make no clear decision on what response to make to some given set of conditions? It would be unbearable and I do not willingly think of it."

Gladia said, "Yet you do, Daneel. You are thinking of it now."

"Only because of my association with Partner Elijah, madam. I observed him under conditions when he was unable, for a time, to decide on an action because of the puzzling nature of the problems that had been set him. He was clearly in a state of ill-being as a result and I felt ill-being on his behalf because there was nothing I could do that would ease the situation for him. It is possible that I only grasped a very small part of what it was he felt then. If I had grasped a larger part and better understood the consequences of his inability to decide on action, I might have--" he hesitated.

"Ceased functioning? Been inactivated?" said Gladia, thinking briefly and painfully of Jander.

"Yes, madam. My failure to understand may be an in-built protection device against damage to my positronic brain. But then, I noted that no matter how painful Partner Elijah found his indecision to be, he continued to make an effort to solve his problem. I admired him greatly for that."

***

There is so much in that passage that just kills me but some of the things that stick out are Daneel's use of the word UNBEARABLE to describe the sensation of being indecisive. ;_; poor DANEEL. And to think that this is what Giskard had to feel when he died. *owwwwww* And also how Daneel is so amazed at humans because they have to deal with this indecision EVERY MOMENT and HOW DO THEY SURVIVE LAWL. Aww. So in a way (I guess this isn't surprising) robots are more emotionally fragile than humans, about some things.Which is ironic since people are like they're just machines lawl you can say anything you want to them and it's not gonna hurt them. But they do "care" deeply in their own fashion, about the things that matter, that people should by all rights be affected by... but if we were all affected as easily as robots, I guess we'd all have our minds break, and die... but then if EVERYbody was like robots then we would be prevented from causing social situations which would cause so much stress on us emotionally and ethically, so there would be no need to NOT be sensitive to those things.. *hrm* yes I was thinking about this on the way to work in relation to the shooting. If there were lots of asimovian robots in the world things like that would probably hardly ever happen lawl. But one positive thing, for me, that comes out of this, if I even dare say it... is that the way people have responded with such grief has made me feel like... I dunno. I was kind of surprised at how deeply affected people are who do not even live in the same area. I was surprised at how I burst into tears, nevermind that so many other people did. Because somehow I was under the impression that most people can't be brought to care that much about bad things happening to people who live far away or are not in their personal circle. But I guess that's not the case. People have been affected so deeply by this. So it makes me feel a little better about humans, I guess. A lot of us do have the ability to extend compassion outside of our immediate lives, it seems. You know what's really sad? The fact that being around robots and their roboty compassion hasn't seemed to improve humanity's morality much, in Asimov's books. People are still rather petty and selfish. I guess they are too human-centric to stoop to learn from the example of their machine servants. But really, that must be why I can't help but like Lije despite his failings. Because it feels like he does sort of learn from Daneel and thinks about how much better of a person and friend Daneel is than a lot of "real" people are.... Returning to the passage above, lawl. I feel an odd sympathy with Daneel here, which I kind of explained to a friend of mine when I initially told him I was revisiting a love for robots. I think one of the things that makes me so interested in Daneel and Giskard is the way they try to work around their internal blockages to become better beings, even though they are already so good, and they are not doing anything less than they are supposed to be doing. What I mean is, they're already doing good, being good, so there's no expectation or requirement for them to do more. In fact to try to do more, or rather to do differently than they were programmed, is quite stressful for them. But because they are motivated by kind of... the spirit of the Laws, rather than just the letter of them... they try anyway, to get around the blockades, the walls, the barriers in their thinking. In ways which others would say make them bad. So it should be pretty obvious why that resonates with me. It's so hard living in indecision. It's so much easier to say "this is my duty and that's the extent of it. I don't need to strain to figure things out or to do more or differently than I've been told." And yet there is a compulsion to keep trying. It's pretty painful and confusing. Lawl not that I dare compare my own struggles to be good to Daneel and Giskard's. They had so much more to overcome, so much more internal and external opposition. But I guess what I mean is it inspires me.

[raemanzu]

So I'm probably not taking my computer with me when I leave tonight for Christmas festivity sleepover thing... which means I won't be online on Christmas itself. But I just wanted to wish all my followers a Merry Christmas, especially my close online friends. You are all such a support to me and I wish you all the best in the coming year. 

[raemanzu]

Ha-ha! I have made another beautiful loaf of vegan banana bread

And yes, the parody of steamboat shenanigans our WRX group wrote was running through my brain the entire time. <3

[starrythomas]

ARGH I AM HORRIBLE AND TWO DAYS LATE FOR THIS BUT HAPPY BIRTHDAY AND I LOVE YOU K? I hope it was super-great.

Thank you ^..^ I did have a super-great birthday, as it happens. I went to a veggie buffet restaurant with some family & friends, and my parents got them to make me a vegan birthday cake which was a-maz-ing. I also got some great presents :) I love you too ^..^

[eraty]

toseefeelingly answered: Definitions change from person to person based on their (and others’) experiences.

Thanks for your answer, but sorry, I don't really like it. I don't want to invalidate or stomp on anyone's identities or experiences, but I think words need to mean the same thing for everyone.

I mean, if I call myself neutrois meaning that I have no gender, but the ones I'm speaking to think it means ambiguous gender, then we are not understanding each other, and understanding is what I'm looking for.

Of course I might just say "I have no gender" and be understood anyway, but somehow I feel the need for a word.

Then again maybe the line between ambiguous gender and no gender at all is so thin that it doesn't really matter to those who have a gender, I don't know. I'm just ranting here, I'm sorry.

dixiesaurer answered: its different for everyone but usually neutrois is having a neutral or ambiguous gender and agender is not having a gender at all

Thanks for your answer, I guess it makes sense. I think I'll use these definitions to explain myself then, thank you again.

[raemanzu]

So I went to the used bookstore today and GUESS WHAT I FOUND

a really good condition copy of The Invention of Hugo Cabret (which has TONS of illustrations) 

AND

THE ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY FOR I, ROBOT WHICH ASIMOV APPROVED OF AND WHICH WAS NEVER ACTUALLY MADE INTO A MOVIE

I don't even feel bad for spending money on this

I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THIS WAS A THING THAT WAS EVER PUBLISHED... I mean I knew the screenplay was written, but I didn't think I'd ever get to read it myself 8D AND IT'S ILLUSTRATED

[raemanzu]

feeling a bit better tonight. thanks to everyone who got me t hrough yesterday