#toxic mil

[ajokefrombirth]

Why would you take a special moment and add your two cents in just to make me feel bad about our baby's potential name ?

Not only that but you're technically making fun of our other two children.

[kissingcars]

My son has had a lot of gas lately, so of course he’s been fussy. Yesterday we left him at my mother in laws house for a little bit. When we came back she was like “oh he was so fussy. None of MY kids were like that. I don’t know what’s wrong with him”. And I know that was a dig at me because she’s always making comments about my family’s genetic history. I don’t have anyone I can complain to about this because it’s always “you’re too sensitive” or “it’s always you vs her and I’m tired of it”, so I’ll just vent here I guess.

[ilivewithagoblin]

Had to pee again from all the water I’ve been drinking.

MIL was in there, I knocked and went back into my room.

She came storming out, and flipped me off as she went into her bedroom and slammed her door as hard as she could.

[ilivewithagoblin]

I was diagnosed with Covid-19 today after a rapid antigen test result came back positive. I have to be sick and quarantine around Goblin MIL for the next 14 days.

We got home, Partner ended up explaining to her what was going on. Of course, she has to be like “How am I going to get tested?” P leaves her room, she huffs and puffs around and slams doors and cabinets behind her.

She ended up coming into our room and starting drama over her TV we got her for an early Christmas present, asking for us to take it back to the store. Came into our room. Emphasis on that.

I had to pee really bad. I’ve been drinking a bunch of water to stay hydrated and MIL went into the bathroom as I was getting up. After 45 minutes, P knocked on the door for me. She got out. Started going off on him. Here’s what she said that was absolutely bonkers:

MIL “So, do you two have the Covid infection or do you have the Covid virus”

P: “Mom, they’re the same thing.”

MIL: “Hah. No, they’re two different things.”

P: “Uh, no. They’re not.”

MIL then gets pissed and storms off, slams her door.

[ilivewithagoblin]

We’re not allowed to put up the fake Christmas tree this year according to MIL, because a couple ornaments broke last year and it took us “too long” to put away.

[ilivewithagoblin]

It’s been a wild few months. Lots of awful times while living with her.

I’m hoping to move out within the next year. With that, comes more drama from her when she discovers that we are leaving. I’m scared of the repercussions and the flying monkeys that will come for us. But, if I could handle the things that I have in my 25 years, I can handle this.

With help from my therapist, I was able to help grab partner out of the FOG cycle. He is totally willing to move towards our goals and get out of this abusive household to start to heal. I want him to start to heal. He deserves everything good that comes along with healing, even though a lot of the time, healing from abuse feels harder most days and it’s difficult to see how much process you’re making. He’s interested in getting his own therapist, which would be beneficial for both of us to both be active in counseling. In fact, therapy is good for anyone and everyone. You just have to find the right therapist; which is another easier-said-than-done scenario.

Today also marks 5 years of me quitting cigarettes. 6 years of my relationship with partner. 6 months of holding down this job in the middle of a pandemic. My job, although physically and mentally grueling, is a great safe respite and sanctuary from the even more demanding tension that I face when I am at home. I also started new meds about a month ago. My depression is better than it was, but honestly, everything else that has gone weird with my mental health is entirely situational.

Physically, I’m in a flare-up with fibromyalgia symptoms and it’s been a bummer. I keep working, though. I want to get out of this house, so I keep working as many hours as I am scheduled for. I need to slow down. I even tried to get my shift on Monday covered because of the pain, and also the fear of catching the ‘Rona because if I got sick, and then she got sick, I would feel absolutely terrible, even if I don’t like her;

There’s three cases (two confirmed and one presumptive) within my staff of 75 people. Fortunately, I have not worked with any of the infected in weeks, one even a month ago. I’m still healthy, and I continue to keep my distance at work and wash and sanitize my hands frequently. Still, I am paranoid.

So, it’s a full moon. It’s the end of the month, so MIL is getting revved up about money again and with that, she’s being quite terrible to us.

Let’s set the scene from this evening. A mild encounter, but it’s the first layer of fuckery before you go beyond the surface. It’s just gonna get worse as the days go on:

Partner walked into the kitchen.

MIL is in there.

MIL says out of the blue: “You know what? It’s been three months and a day since you asked me how I am doing.”

Partner: “Wh-what? I don’t think that is correct.”

MIL: “It has been three months and a day. It’s been one month since you said thank you for anything, too!”

P: “Mom, you’re really showing off some narcissistic traits right now.”

MIL: “NO, I AM NOT! IT’S YOU WHO IS THE PROBLEM!”

MIL storms away, to give both of us the silent treatment for the remainder of the night.

Kids, adults, cryptids, whoever:

I am telling you. This is NOT normal behavior for anyone to treat you, no matter who they are. Family, friends, coworkers, bosses, whoever. If anyone treats you like this, think of some options to get out. Life is waiting out there for you. It’s so hard because you don’t know how deep of a hole you’re in with abusive people because they don’t let their true colors show until it feels like it’s too late. It’s never too late.

[ilivewithagoblin]

August 26th, 2020

It begins with her.

She always gets like this at the end of the month, because, as you know, she wants money from us at the end of the month.

I am sure I made a mistake telling her I got a job.

However, she’s taking pictures of the house because I haven’t been home for longer than to eat, take the dog out for a walk and feed them both, get ready for bed, take the dog out, sleep, take dog out and leave, so it’s not very clean at all to my standards and that’s due to us being gone, and only having time for the basics like laundry and dishes. I’ve swept maybe two to three times a week in the past three weeks.

This is the really dumb part, but I can tell it’s gonna get really bad this time because she’s wearing her ET sweatshirt, which is a red basic hoodie that she puts the hood on. She only wears it when she’s getting ready to extort us for money, or else she will threaten kick us out again, threatening to kill herself or threatening to report us to adult protective services.

She looks like this:

She woke up and just started shit with P on his lunch break, just being generally obnoxious and loud, and it’s just been shit with her all day. If it’s not one thing, it’s another with her and it’s always the littlest thing, but it’s the biggest deal to her and it’s enough for her to yell and threaten us. Like, she blew up and started yelling at P because I put our funnel in the wrong drawer when I was putting clean dishes away.

P went outside to confront her about the pictures she took.

I’m so glad I had work to go to during them, but I have the day off now, so I’m worried about being home to clean the house when she’s acting like this.

Two weeks ago, she came out to the living room and yelled at me and started slamming things when I was babysitting my friend’s 5 year old daughter, around the time that my friend got back to pick her up. That was around guests. It’s just going to get worse when we’re alone with her.

I need out.

[ilivewithagoblin]

Things are really bad at home right now, and I’m sure they’re just going to get worse as the night and the weekend goes on. She’s being very cruel, and nitpicking about everything and anything she can. It was the trash can not having the box underneath it, then it was the cup in the bathroom that we use for bathing the dog, then it was the laundry, then it was the cord to the box fan, etcetera. Anything she can do to start an argument, she’s on it. It’s child-like behavior.

I cannot reiterate enough on how hard it is to live with her. Partner is inching closer to realizing how toxic it is to live with someone like his mother, and how it isn’t okay. He doesn’t want to move out because of the cheap rent, but does that add up when we’re purchasing everything for her? And suffering from her abuse? I don’t think so. We left the house when she was in the shower this evening to go to the store, because it wasn’t at home. As soon as we got back, she’s back on her bullshit, complaining that we didn’t pick up sweets, Pepsi, cigarettes and coffee creamer for her. It’s not our responsibility.

Partner is finally getting that through his head. He also said something today to her that stuck with me, after his mother spoke about how we need to respect her. It’s very correct. “You don’t mean respect you when you say that, you mean to let you control us.” He also told me that he can’t pretend that his mom is a good person deep down anymore, and that she doesn’t treat his spouse like shit- because she does, and there’s no sugar coating that.

I’m just hoping and wishing for the day that we can get out of here, and away from her. But yeah, it’s true that people like herself don’t understand what respect really means because they’re on a power trip to hell and back. They want to control. They want you to agree with them. They want you to do everything their way, and thank them for the labor you put in, whether that means emotional, physical or mental labor. I’m exhausted. I’m so glad I have work tomorrow and the day after, I’ll be able to do stuff with friends before and after my shift. I need a break. I can’t stand the constant berating and tension.

If I could choose a song so readers could understand what it’s like living with her, I would choose this one: