#trader troubles

[wilmotthemerchant]

Whilst many grow ever the more enraptured by talk of this so-called Skeleton War, I, and many other merchants no doubt, am left to ponder… what ill effects will this conflict bear upon my trade routes???Aye, I can feel a migraine developing.

[wilmotthemerchant]

I shall not be accepting any trades in ambergris at the port this morning— not until I’m recovered from that whaler who scammed me with a bundle of lard.

On the other hand, I’ll pay good coin for some lobster. I’ve a hankering.

[wilmotthemerchant]

An elderly apothecary at my stall has made it known to me that he is highly opinionated on the subject of ‘pronouns,’ and while his commitment to insular thinking is all very well and interesting, I would rather he return to trading me his medicinal him/herbs 😐

[wilmotthemerchant]

Overheard a patron proclaim that “any merchant worth his salt restocks his wares each day…”

Ha. Verily?

Do these customers believe that I furnish their magic items from thin air? That I work miracles at the stall? Next they’ll expect me to turn their flasks from water to health-potion like some merchant incarnation of Christ.

[wilmotthemerchant]

The warnings, it seemeth, didst ring true. Indeed, I encountered the wretched bridge troll during my travels.

The blasted thing demanded I cede to him a sum of my coin… which I did, albeit begrudgingly.

Next time I might just build a raft to cross the river and save myself the insult. If I wanted to throw money at something ugly, I’d at least take him for dinner.

[wilmotthemerchant]

Being a steadfast and reputable merchant myself, I’ve without question familiarized myself with seasonal marketing events.

However, now that some time has elapsed, I feel it’s safe to finally voice my professional opinion that Boxing Day sales are, well, a ludicrous custom. Do you consumers think that the value of your wool and bread decreases simply because a religiously significant carpenter celebrated his birthday yesterday? If anything, I’d say that the prices of your furniture, then, should be more.