#transadvice

[elias-jasper]

a trans guys best friends are always :

- his baggiest t shirt

- his binder

- anyone who respects his name & pronouns

[evenings-last-light]

It’s never too late...

A year ago today I was not happy. I mean I said I was happy but looking back I was not. You may or may not see it but in the left picture my eyes yell at me a deep dissatisfaction with who I was and what I’ve done. But if you just looked at the surface I was doing better than most. I had finished college that spring. Held a job for 4 years at that point. I had a girlfriend who I had dated for 4 years and lived with them and a beautiful dog in a cozy apartment. On the surface it felt like I was being ungrateful because I had so much.

What didn’t stand out to me then but does now is every time I was asked what I wanted I either couldn’t or didn’t want to think about it because most of what I wanted I couldn’t have, or rather thought I couldn’t have.

It was around this time that I started questioning my sexuality. Completely ignorant I thought my only options were gay or straight man. I knew I most identified with gay women but I thought gay women wouldn’t want to date me (wrong) because I was a man (wrong again)

So I started dating gay men and identifying as one. It seemed right at first because it wasn’t straight but I quickly realized that not only did I feel less like myself but the people I surrounded myself with didn’t see me as I wanted to either

I was stuck. I felt like I was lying to everyone and making things up. However out of all things it was openly trans women on tumblr that ultimately made me realize not only could I be seen as a women by looking through their transformation photos but also that I could be interacted with as a women by their stories

It’s a very gay thing to say but tumblr saved my life. Because of my undiagnosed bipolar disorder at the time and mounting depression levels my mental health was anything but healthy. Convinced however that this might be the answer I sought out other trans women to talk to and was met with both enthusiasm and support. Every time I felt like I wasn’t “womanly enough” I would be told time and time again I was. Eventually I stared to internalize the idea I was a women and sought out help through the local pride center. All it took was an email and I had both the names of the doctors who handled transgender health care but also of therapists in the area who specialized and could write letters of recommendation

Each day since has felt like I’m living for myself a little more. And everyday I take the love that was given to me when I needed it and give it back to the community and my friends because I learned the most important thing in the world is being open enough so that others may feel the confidence to do the same

Everyday when I look in the mirror and think about what I’ve done to get here in such a short amount of time I’m reminded that it really is never to late 💜

[evenings-last-light]

Change comes, be patient

Alright my sisters I have a story to share.

I am currently 24. I only identified myself as transgender last year. I was so MAD at myself for being so blind to something apparently so obvious. But then tonight a switch flipped and strangely enough it’s because of my dad.

I’ve always been appalled at my dads emotional capacity. He’s shown about as much emotion as a countertop. But after he got married after being free of the vile step mom who ruined our lives. I’ve watched color come back into his life. At the same time I was embracing myself as a women right along side.

I’ve always been the first person to help. To offer anything I can because I know what it’s like to have no one for help and what an amazing difference that can make.

So for the first time I realized not only could I begin healing the gaping hole left in our lives by showing him my own emotional growth but I could also, and I say this in complete honesty, have a family were I felt safe in.

I’ve been so anxious that my dyphoria wasn’t going away since starting hrt that I forgot that healing happens often on its own accord. But if we want to be the person we want to be, we have to give ourselves permission to be patient with....ourselves! I’m so patient with others it seems like the most obvious thing in the world but I can tell anyone reading it has caused the most growth yet.

I am a lover and it makes me feel better to love the people around me and I’m so excited that includes myself now too. ❤️

Love, Eve 🌸

[spin-0ff-blog]

Unspoken

Mother, Please don’t ask me if I am taking hormones or want to be a boy. I’ve been in this girl human suit and I haven’t figured out how to accept myself or body. It makes me confused and wonder if maybe I would be better off a guy. But what if I don’t... and never find the answer to who I really am.

Is this what it feels like when you are between deciding a transition? I’ve always secretly felt in my head more masculine. Dressed it. Like women. I just feel like something is missing... I feel empty and lost.

Advice?

🤷🏻‍♀️ undecided. Undetermined. Unsure.

[spin-0ff-blog]

Met with a flame

It is extremely confusing being 27 years old and feeling like I do not fit in this body. I am a born female, but I have never felt very feminine no matter how much I have tried. Sometimes I wonder if transitioning will help since I tend to have more masculine personality traits?

I follow a lot of trans posts and envy the acceptance I see others finding in themselves. I just... don’t know what to do. :(

The last few times I have seen my mother, she has been accusing me of taking hormones to transition into being male. This is actually very hurtful, considering a small part of me wonders if that is why I feel so uncomfortable in this body?

I am a lesbian and have never been able to emotionally develop feelings for men. I’ve “been” with 3 guys only just in total a little over a handful of times being “with” guys but it never felt right. It actually felt the way I would imagine a straight male would feel like a guy? Just awkward and “too gay” for me.

I don’t know if I am just simple not comfortable with myself or really battling with my gender identity. Growing up I always wanted to be a boy.. but for many reasons I hated my body due to being invaded against my will so young in different occasions. I’m just trying to understand. I’ve always been more protective and more dominant with girls. I’ve always enjoyed being treat more like the way a guy would. Even my body is sort of masculine. I just feel like I was born as something I can never fully be. I don’t even know if being a man would fix me. I just wish I could talk to a few people about their experiences before transitioning FTM

Just looking for advice from others who have transitioned and if these feelings were what they had felt? I am so confused in my life at this point :( not sure... just... not sure ;(

[transgenderadvice]

Hi! I have a question about how to tell my parents I'm transgender. I'm AMAB but feel like my actual gender is female. I'm wondering about how to tell my parents I'm transgender/want to be a girl. I am 21 years old and both my primary parents are females and are gay. My father hasn't had much of a father figure role in my life since middle school. How would you suggest I go about telling my moms that I'm transgender? I don't know how they would react to me telling them I want to be a girl.

Try writing out what you would like to say, and read from your writing. This can help formulate the way you want to convey your message. Ask them to keep discussion and dialogue til the end of your speech. Of course this is a very formal approach, but if you get tongue tied easily this can be a very good way to help with that.

I would hope that your parents will be okay with this considering their own struggles that I am sure they have gone through.

I would also include examples from your past of what makes you think that this is the answer that you are seeking. Try to change wording from that you don’t want but instead YOU KNOW that you are a female if that’s truly what you believe.  Such direct statements can be hard to make s I would try practicing it at first.

Let us know how it goes!

-Dustie-

[transgenderadvice]

Hi … I used to attend an Evangelical Presbyterian Church. When I expressed my desire to undergo gender reassignment from male to female; the reactions varied. The first time a mentioned it to a pastor; he screamed at me, “GOD MADE YOU A MAN!” And when I had discussed the matter with the current pastor and his wife they tried to discourage me from pursuing gender reassignment because they believe it is self-mutillation . They would tell me that being transgendered is strictly a psychological disorder, that even if I would transition I’d would still be suicidal and that being suicidal was actually a result of the Holy Spirit convicting me of my sin. I left that church and started attending an Episcopal church (which is friendlier towards LGBT folks). I feel that this was a good decision, but could it have been possible to a transgender ambassador to the EPC?

_---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I truly believe you would not have accomplished much in these circles, and in the long run would have been miserable. You have found a church that is accepting of who you are, and you can build a community off of that. It sounds like you made the right choice for your own psychological, spiritual, physical salvation. You can do many good works with the right people, and mindset.

-Dustie-

[transgenderadvice]

I have a question about transitioning. Will my scent change? Will they forget me? I have pets that I love and would be heartbroken if they couldn't remember me.

So many say that your scent does change somewhat with different ‘mones. The thing is, is if the animals are with you frequently throughout this process then I doubt there should be any issue regarding if the pets wouldn’t remember you.  My parents dog who I saw 6 months ago, and just recently seems to have still remembered me. The last time before this recent visit was right before I started HRT.

-Dustie-