In light all the recent transandromisia and intersexism directed towards transmascs, you should support the memory of a disabled intersex transgender man, Devin. He was an artist and a writer and had passion for everything he did, and was/is my best friend. I (a disabled trans man) am solely having to pay for his cremation and his own damn family won't help me.
This is probably more the result of multigenderphobia.
Im tired of feeling like I have to over explain my transition types to people. What I mean is, I dont feel like I can ever just say Im transmasc and leave it there. I dont feel like I can do that either with transfem or transneutral. I feel I have to always say at least somewhere in a post that Im transfemmascneu. But sometimes I just wanna be seen as transfem for a bit. Sometimes I only wanna be transneutral for a bit. But Im so scared people are gonna say Im lying, or that Im just picking whatever label will make me look best in that specific moment. Ive seen people say that before.
I wanna connect with transfems and specifically talk about being transfem. I wanna connect with transmascs and talk about being transmasc. I wanna connect with transneutrals and specifically talk about being transneutral.
...
In the process of writing this out, I think I figured out the underlying hurt and reason for feeling this way (so thank you for opening a spot for me to talk this through and figure it out).
I feel like I have to placate everyone and that Im actually not the same as them. There's a belief that I am entirely different then transfems, transmascs, and transneutrals. Like I am not them, but in a different box entirely. I feel I have to allow others to seperate myself from them otherwise Im lying. I maybe transmasc, but Im not REALLY transmasc, Im this weird other thing thats trying to sneak their way into the transmasc community and destroy it or water it down. I may say Im transfem, but no one really believes that, so I dont belong in their space cause Im just a mutant other option. Im not transfem to them, Im transfemmascneu. So I dont belong there and if I dont make sure everyone knows then I must be sneaking in to hurt the community.
This is multigenderphobia.
Mod reply
I am very glad you figured out why you were hurting. This is definitely a more unique facet to multigenderphobia. And I completely get it too.
I definitely do feel the same anon, like Im lying if I say Im transmasc or transfem on their own. I can be a trans boygirl, but a trans boy or a trans girl? No, because Im different from them and I know people will make assumptions that I dont want them to make. About my life or experiences, about how much authority I have to speak over myself and my identity.
Thank you for involving me in this process anon, because it's very much how I feel too, and it's nice to know someone else managed to put it into words.
It definitely feels like putting a giant disclaimer in front of everything you say, like if you tried to talk about being transneutral you need to preface with "But I dont actually have the experiences they have because Im transmascfem too so Im really an outsider" and it puts this huge wall where it's like you're not part of the community that share your identities. Like you're separated by a glass wall, like you dont belong because you're not a hundred percent the same.
It fucking sucks. Because that would mean that we can only have community with people that have the exact same identity as us, and that's very very difficult the more specific you get. It sucks right now because the infighting makes things more separated and everyone who doesnt neatly fit in one or the other slips through the cracks. If everyone were welcoming of each other, if we didnt have this constant looking for the imposter, for the spy, for the intruder, then maybe we would all be safer in accepting our community alongside its differences. In being in community with people different from us.
Im so sorry anon, it's so lonely this feeling, not belonging even in communities made by people who dont belong. Im glad you came here, Im happy to be part of the multigender community because you belong here, and so do I. I hope you can feel safe, because you are not a threat just for being different. You dont need to preemptively distance yourself from others to avoid being hurt when others see you are different. It's okay to want one part of your identity to be recognized or to feel it stronger, to want to highlight it. This is seriously about to make me cry because I know how it hurts. I dont know you but I love you, you deserve to feel safe, appreciated and to find community with people who understand you, to communicate on similar experiences and identities even if others are different<3
Being real. I fuckin hate being a biohazard when I take my T gel + i’m having continuous issues with my insurance letting me have the full dose of medicine because they don’t like covering higher doses of gel. I’m so fucking frustrated that I might just do injections which honestly still seem like a hassle because of drawing shit from a vial, getting the amount righ, accidental air bubbles in veins and all that shit and yet better than gel
Like full offense but if I was a transgender woman and I had to deal with all this BULLSHIT of people killing, tormenting and excluding MY TRANS SISTERS AND A NIGGA HAD THE AUDACITY TO ASK ME IF HE'S "VALID" OR SPEAK ON "TRANSANDROPHOBIA/TRANSMISANDRY" NIGGA I'M TEARING MY MF HAIR OUT
There is now a community that will remain safe place for Transmasculine men, where my goal is hopefully to allow you to network safely and respectfully.
This is a transmasculine only space, or those who [want to] present male and hopefully some advocates as well.
Please feel free message me or @bagelsandlocks to be sent an invite.
Doing this as a way to keep it more secure.
Thank you.
Thank you, hope to see you all on there soon!
Also I did figure out a link to join without asking. Please remember to adhere to the rules.
