Things the Batcomputer Has Been Forced to Process (and Why Alfred Now Monitors Search History)
Dick (age 17):
“is it flirting if we almost died together?”
“can you pull a muscle from smiling too much”
Jason (age 19):
“what hurts more: crowbar or betrayal”
“statute of limitations on murder in gotham”
“can anger issues be cured or just managed”
Tim (age 15):
“signs your mentor is emotionally unavailable”
“how long can someone survive on caffeine alone”
“ethical ways to fake your own death”
Damian (age 13):
“how to train a cow to fight”
“is it dishonorable to lose to gravity”
“dog dating services near me”
[Titus deserves heirs]
Duke (age 18):
“what does it mean if you can see the future sometimes”
“am i glowing or is this normal”
“symptoms of godhood just in case”
Bonus
Cassandra (age 20):
“how to say ‘i am fine’ in 37 languages”
“best knives for throwing (theoretical)”
“fire”
