#traumatizing relationship

[toomuchdivergentformyneuro]

‼️‼️[TW: sewerslide mention]‼️‼️

not my ex pressuring me into trying to attempt su!c!d3 with him, because then we would “be together forever in the afterlife”

😐 like bruh wtf

(this was a while ago, my ex is very much out of my life and has been for months now, i am doing a lot better now and am on my way to better days too, no worries anymore, this is just something i think about and am astonished by and also laugh at [to cope])

[toomuchdivergentformyneuro]

i feel for people with BPD.

i don’t have BPD, i know that for sure, but i’ve showed a lot of the symptoms/signs of it before.

when i was with my (traumatizing) ex, i was so for sure that i had BPD, because of just how many signs/symptoms i showed during that time (and back then, i didn’t have as much knowledge as i do now, so i didn’t realize it was due to my ex being so traumatizing). literally every experience of a person with BPD, i could relate to it. even now, when i look back at those times, and when i see things about BPD, i know i once did relate and i can feel it in my soul.

i remember how extreme i was. how attached i was. how overwhelming everything felt. how much every day was a struggle against my mind and others. and more. and it was the worst time of my life and it went on for so long, too.

so i feel for those with BPD, because that’s their daily life for them. that’s how they are 24/7, and yes, sometimes they can “get better” and go into remission, but that’s not guaranteed. that’s not for everyone.

and i know a little bit just how overwhelming, saddening, and painful that can be.

i wanna say i’m proud of all those who have BPD. y’all are doing a good job, and you’re lovable as hell. not everyone hates you, your favorite person doesn’t hate you, and you’re amazing. take a minute to look just how many things you accomplished today or of late, even if that’s just continuing to breathe. you’re doing an awesome job. 🫶