Hi, I'm the person who sent the posts about the Triggering scenes on Doctors. I came off anon because that confession talking about mine is plainly rude. And I have this to say to the thoughtless people who posted/agreed with that confession: lulinah. tumblr. com/ post/ 149389594855/kdramaconfessions-no-offense-to-anyone-but-i Do not send me hate mail on this, it will be deleted. I hope they can understand that this behavior is harmful and prejudicial towards PTSD and anxiety patients.
I hope this will not end in a fight but if you want to know my feelings about that confession please read the tags.As the admin of this blog my duty is to post confessions even if I don’t agree with it.
But I don’t understand why your confession created a conflict. For some people it is just hard to watch those medical scenes (I can’t even watch it when someone gets an injection), and I think the argument “It’s called Doctors” or “it’s a medical drama, what did you expect” is invalid for me. People don’t watch medical dramas because they want to see how a surgery is done (this is a Drama not a documentary about Brain surgery), they watch it because of the storyline which in this case is Yoo Hye Jung and how she wants justice for her grandmother etc.
So the best thing is the we should just accept that some people want to watch a Medical Drama because of the storyline, eventhough they have some problems watching the surgery stuff.
PS: This will be the last Message about this subject that I will answer. I will also not take any other confession about this matter either it is good or bad. As I said I don’t want this to end in a fight.
Darcy Lewis wakes up to find herself tied up and in her underwear. Is it wrong that the first thing she thinks of is that Tony Stark has played a nasty prank? Well, the jokes on them.
So last night I watched “Wolf of Wall Street“ because I was in the mood to watch anything. And I can’t say that I liked it. I mean, it was interesting. But there were a lot of times I disliked its content. Sex, drugs, and money. The main character, Jordan Belfort, was a woman abuser and more or less raped his wife. She said no and he went and did it anyway. And he was acting like an animal every time he was on the drugs. Literally dry humping a flight attendant like a dog. He was nasty! And I really don’t care for movies that objectify women. Apparently being a cool guy is having a hot, sexy woman around your arm. Women don’t mean anything to the men but looks in this movie. And the guys are constantly fucking women throughout the movie (no joke). You see a lot of full frontal nudity from the women, and backside. I don’t even recall if you get to see the male’s back sides. You do catch a glimpse of a dick at least once when one of the guys is publicly jerking off at a party to some “pretty lady”. It’s just disgusting.
Holy Shit. Sorry about the delay. This was hard to write for multiple reasons. I hope it was worth the wait. If you have ANY triggers don't read this, just to be safe. Definitely of the non-con variety.
Dara walked quickly through the deserted grounds of the circus, hand clutched tightly against her chest, gripping a rag that was slowly being soaked through by blood. She had decided that while the rest of the Circus was off partying, she would stay behind and work on the trucks. They had been sitting dormant for a long time, and she had been worried that they might not start up when the leaders deemed it necessary to move again. And, as if in tune with her thoughts, one of the trucks would not start up. If she had ever had the ability to get her way with the leaders, they would have scrapped the rust buckets for parts and gotten brand new trucks. But she knew that they could not afford it and Hongki would never go for the idea. So she opened up the trunk and got to work on the engine.
It hadn’t took her long to figure out was wrong, but quickly that became the least of her worries. One of the belts snapped while she was working, the rust having finally eaten through it, and it whiplashed into her hand, pinning her it against the cold hard metal of the rest of the engine. She had cried out for help but no one had heard her and she had struggled to free her hand while blood had oozed down her arm and dripped into the engine. Finally, after a few minutes she had gotten herself freed but the damage to her hand was so great she couldn’t continue. She felt tears sting her eyes from the pain and she had quickly pulled the rag hanging out of her pocket up to wrap around the hand. Little did she know, this wound would be the worst of her problems.
Instead of dealing with it herself, Dara decided that she would make the trek across the campsite to the medical tent to get it properly dealt with. Such a wound would make it difficult to do her job, so she decided to have Lime deal with it. She mentally noted how far away from the medical tent that the trucks were and decided to talk to Hongki about parking the vehicles closer to it just in case her job got dangerous again. What happened if she got a worse injury and couldn’t make it across the campsite?
Dara reached the tent, but something caught her eye before she decided to walk in. She watched as the tiger girl, Fei, said something to her wolves in her strange language before nearly running off into the forest. The wolves dispersed back between the tents. It was nearly as soon as Fei was out of sight that the dragon boy walked off in the same direction. Dara hesitated for a moment, trying to decide whether or not to go after the girl and see if something was wrong, but she had the fire breather with her so Dara figured that she’d be fine. What would the mechanic do to help her anyways, throw her wrench at someone’s head?
So instead, Dara pushed aside the flap of the tent and walked inside. Something, however, felt incredibly wrong. While the tent still had the sterilized smell of hospitals, something about it was off. There was something else mixing in with it. Dara’s eyes searched for Lime, their healer when she noticed something. One of the medical trays had been pulled over and the unused medical instruments that had once been on it were now scattered across the floor. That wasn’t what somewhat frightened her, though. A hand was clutching onto the side of the table, but most of whomever was holding it had vanished behind one of the cots.
Having forgotten the blood soaking through the rag wrapped tightly around and clutched in her own hand, Dara hesitantly edged forward. She blinked when she saw the still form of their healer on the ground unmoving. Quickly the Mechanic moved forward and crouched down next to her, instinctively placing two fingers just under her jawbone. No pulse. Dara moved quickly, starting CPR in hopes of saving the girl. But how long had she been passed out? Two minutes passed, five, ten. The woman did not take a breath and her heart did not start to beat. She was gone. Dara let out a somewhat shaky breath, but she pushed herself to her feet and moved away to find bandages and stuff to stitch up her own hand. She cleaned the deep gash, sewed it up and wrapped it with sterile bandages quickly before moving on to other things.
Dara quickly put the tipped tray back in order before gently lifting the body of the girl who had once been their healer. She struggled the put the girl on top of one of the cots before quickly heading out of the tent. The only leader who had stayed behind was Gain, she would want to know right away. Dara whistled loudly and the larger of Fei’s wolves rounded the corner and walked up to her. “Stay here, don’t let anyone in.” The large wolf blinked at her as if it did not understand before walking over and sitting down right in front of the tent flap.
Dara moved quickly towards the tent that their leaders Hongki and Gain shared, not wanting to draw attention to herself. There were still a few people in the camp, and they were mostly children. She would not know how to deal with a large emotional outburst from them so it was simply smarter to keep what had happened quiet, for now. “Gain?” She called out softly as she pushed the tent flap back. That same smell from earlier met her nose and anxiety caused her heart to beat quicker. She saw their leader on her side on the bed, back facing the tent flap. “Oh, You’re sleeping.” Dara’s voice wavered before she cleared her throat. “Gain, I need to talk to you about Lime. Um. Gain?” When the woman didn’t even stir, Dara’s heart started to beat faster. What was going on?
Dara moved closer and put her hand on Gain’s arm and her stomach knotted up when she felt how cold the other’s skin was. Not only that, but it was paler than it should have been. She too was dead, but this time it was different. Dara gently moved Gain onto her back and lifted the woman’s shirt. She saw her hand start to shake, but she was determined to figure out what was going on. The woman’s side, the side she had been laying on, was purple as if blood had pooled there. Livor Mortis. But why had Gain been bleeding internally? Dara took a few deep breaths, trying to calm her racing heart. No one should ever have to find the body of someone, but two in one night... Let alone their Healer and their leader. But what should she do? She couldn’t just leave Gain there in the bed. As it was, Hongki was going to mentally break down. He didn’t need to see her in that bed. And what if someone came in looking for Gain? No. The bodies needed to be in the same place.
Dara gently pulled the woman’s shirt back down and moved the blankets off of the rest of her. She grunted as she lifted the woman, adjusting her so it looked like Gain was passed out against her shoulder. If anyone saw her, she’d simply say that Gain had passed out drinking and she was taking her to Lime to watch over her. She slowly walked through the opening of the tent, her body straining at lifting the woman. It was a good thing that the tent was not far from the medical tent, or Dara might not have made it. She rushed in past a large wolf who whined at her, smelling the death from the tent and the body in her hands. Gently, Gain was placed on a cot next to Lime. Two bodies in one night. Dara felt her legs grow weak and she stumbled over to the closest chair to figure out what she should do.
It wasn’t that she had been close to either of the women -- on the contrary she had always tried to avoid Lime and Gain seemed to be too angry for her to want to deal with -- it was the fact that she had found both of them dead. Were their deaths related in some way? And what was she supposed to do? Hongki and Ahyeon were gone with the rest of the Circus at the ditch day so she couldn’t go to them. Who else could she talk to about this? Her memory kicked in from before she had gone into the medical tent when she had watched Fei run off into the forest. Fei. She was in charge of security, surely she would know what to do? The whine of a wolf from outside of the tent caused her to jolt to her feet and stumble out of the tent. “S-Stay. Don’t let anyone in.”
And that was the first time Dara could remember actually running in a very long time. She took off in the direction that Fei had gone, but how would she find the tiger girl? Dara was good with anything that pumped out some sort of energy, but she was not good with nature. She did not know how to track people through a forest. And yet that was what she was attempting to do. Her breathing quickly became labored and her body was screaming at her. This was more physical work than she was used to. It was when she saw something in the distance that she finally slowed. Something was... Hanging from a tree. A chill ran down her spine as she traced the outline in the distance. It was dark, but she could still make out what it was. It looked human.
It took all of her self control not to turn around and run back into the forest. Was she going to find Fei’s body out here as well? Dara moved in slowly, her feet feeling like lead. The closer she moved, the harder it was for her to keep herself moving. When she got close enough to make out the face, she stumbled away behind a tree and lost her dinner between the roots. Her body trembled and she clung to the tree for stability as she retched. It was too much. Too much for one person to handle. She knew that face. It didn’t belong to someone she knew well, but it was one that she knew. Lee Minyoung, the once hyperactive girl who had come back to the Circus so shaken up after her trek off with Hyori than everyone wondered if it had even been the same person. Dara’s heart started to race and her vision blurred as her breathing became shallow and labored. Panic gripped at Dara like never before. “What do I do?” The words came out a strangled wail.
Had she somehow been the cause of it? Would she have been able to save at least Min had she moved quicker? She saw the body sway in the slight breeze and heard the branch holding Min’s body up creak. The last of Dara’s stomach contents emptied themselves on the ground. She had been too slow. Too slow. Hot tears rushed down her cheeks. She could have at least saved Min. Why had she been too slow? She pushed herself away from the tree that she was gripping and moved to the base of the tree that was holding up Min, trying her hardest not to look at the blank face of the girl or the purple bruising around her neck. Dara slowly made her way up the tree, ignoring the tearing feeling from her hand and the blood that seeped through her bandages. My fault. I could have saved her. I wasn’t fast enough. The circus was as close to a real family as she had really ever had, save her own brother whom her father had informed her had also died only a few months past. Why were the people she cared about dying? What had they done to deserve such a cruel fate?
That was when Dara realized that, even if she hardly knew them, she actually cared about every single person in that Circus. They were family. And here she was, climbing out onto a branch to lower one to the ground. She heard the branch crack as she crawled out, but she didn’t care. She had to get Min down. Her hands fumbled with the rope, one moving much slower than usual because of the wound. The knot was tight and it took quite a few minutes to pull the rope loose. Slowly, carefully she lowered Min’s body. She didn’t want to damage the girl’s beautiful features more than they had already been damaged. She Min’s body was safely on the ground, she let go of the rope and started inching backwards on the branch.
Another crack sounded in her ears, but this time the result was her falling. Her scream caught in her throat and a grunt took it’s place when she hit the ground. Nothing was broken but everything hurt. Dara allowed herself to lay there for just a moment longer to try to wait out the pain. Some of the throbbing subsided, but the pain didn’t go away. The pain ran deeper than just the flesh. It’s my fault. Get up, Sandara. You need to take her to the others. A rush of adrenaline filled her and she pushed herself off of the ground. She didn’t notice the blood left behind on the ground from her hand. Min was the only thing that mattered now.
With a grunt, she picked the girl up and started back the way she had come. Even in her haste, her photographic memory had kicked in and she luckily knew the way. The walk seemed to take hours, when in reality it only took ten minutes. Her body screamed at her. Too much in one night, too much! But she pressed forward. Min deserved to rest beside her sisters. A wolf’s whine sounded, but Dara hardly heard it as she stumbled into the medical tent. She put Min onto the third cot before stumbling back to the chair she had sat in earlier. During the walk she had managed to calm herself, but she had not been able to stop blaming herself for at least Min’s death. There had been nothing she could have done for Lime or Gain, but Min? She could have moved faster. What had the girl seen that had pushed her to such an extent?
It was then that Dara felt something slick in her hands and she looked down where she had them clasped tightly in her lap. She let go of the grip and held her palms to where she could see them. Her crimson lifeblood stained the skin on her hand that was not injured and was soaked through the bandages on the other. She shivered and closed her eyes. She had already had blood on her hands, and now Min’s name was added to it. If there was a god, he was cruel for reminding her so visually. She quickly moved over to the sink where she ripped the bandages off her hands and ran them through the water to clean the blood off. Stitches had been torn from where she had sewn her wound together. Dara gritted her teeth as she grabbed the tools needed to take them out and redo them. As quickly as she had earlier, Dara stitched her hand back up and wrapped it again in sterile bandages.
Dara walked back to the chair, but instead of sitting back down in it, she picked it up and moved back towards the opening. She tried to ignore the three women who were laying in the cots. She could not stay in a place filled with death, so she left it. She placed the chair outside of the tent and sat down. The large wolf came to her and placed his nose against her knee before disappearing between the tents. And so she was alone. Dara felt her body tremble, but she fought to regain herself. She had to be calm when Hongki got back, he would need someone to be strong for him. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, forcing her usual indifference back into her being. No one could know what was in the tent until after the two leaders who were left made their decision, so her face could not betray anything. If anyone asked, Gain and Lime were simply talking about medical supplies and did not wish to be bothered.
Now, all she could do was wait for Hongki and Ahyeon to return.
