HeyokaOoohShiny

Stir the cauldron. You'll find a bit of fanfiction, a flash of magic, all the fluffy creatures, some of the not-so-fluffy creatures, the sour dorito smell of geekdom, and other flotsam and jetsam. 

[9buttersxxx]

[r4cs0]

Holy shit lol

[pikaglove]

We stan

[aaaaasneakattack]

That ending fucking blindsided me

[heyokaooohshiny]

Rewatching years later and tagging the Kanye lookalike in the crowd. Lol

[yourfavpunchesnazis]

you punch nazis!

(requested by anonymous)

[yourfavpunchesnazis]

[heyokaooohshiny]

Need this now more than ever

[girlbossfranziskavonkarma]

people are literally so boring a male character will kill 10000 people and steal candy from babies and theyll be like omg thats my king! but a female character is rude once and theyre like i hope she dies violently

[evilkitten3]

reblog to support female characters violently killing people

[moonsfavoritedaughter]

hell yeah :3

[jan-pi-suli-ala]

if i see a woman violently killing people i audibly cheer and why did my phone autocorrect killing to milking what the fuck

[lagtrainzzz]

reblog to support female characters violently milking people

[jan-pi-suli-ala]

DO NOT REBLOG TO SUPPORT FEMALE CHARACTERS VIOLENTLY MILKING PEOPLE

[analogue-dragon]

REBLOG TO SUPPORT FEMALE CHARACTERS VIOLENTLY MILKING PEOPLE

[jan-pi-suli-ala]

WE ARE NOT DOING THIS STAY AWAY FROM VIOLENTLY MILKING

[heyokaooohshiny]

[despazito]

Actually your society is the freaks for shooting everything that moves and burning half your "nature reserves" every year so that upperclass dandies can eat leaded pheasant. North Americans are the well adjusted ones here, your country has become a desolate suburban lawn in island form

[roach-works]

my opinion as an american is that we spend way too much time trying to save african megafauna and nowhere near enough time making fun of the english for turning an entire island--which was once a hazelnut food forest--into a goddamn lawn.

bill bryson once actually wrote down in a whole book and got published that the english were superb gardeners and i about threw the book out the window i was that outraged. the english!!! the fucking ENGLISH. them? that's who you want to laud? the english

the

THERE ARE A GRAND FUCKING TOTAL OF ZERO STAPLE CROPS ORIGINALLY OR EVEN PRIMARILY CULTIVATED BY THE ENGLISH. NONE OF THEM. NOT POTATOES NOT WHEAT NOT TURNIPS NOT RYE. THEY GNAWED THEIR ISLAND DOWN TO A NUB FOR NOTHING. THE WOLVES AND BEARS ALL GONE FOR NOTHING. THE WILDCATS AND BIRDS AND MUSTELIDS AND INSECTS, GONE IN THEIR THOUSANDS, FOR NOTHING. FOR SOME SHEEP. FOR

THEIR MAIN AGRICULTURAL EXPORT IS FAMINE

anyway the english approach to agriculture, biodiversity, and environmentalism is roughly on par with a dog's approach to someone else's homework and everywhere in the world that has inherited their cack-fisted disdain for nature has suffered immensely. i can't overstate enough how bad things have been and still are.

please make fun of them. it's the least they fucking deserve.

[raventherogue]

Vaguely reminds me of how much Australia gets flack for its "cracked up"/dangerous wildlife. Or the emu war. Like at least they have biodiversity. People act like the world is solely OUR playground and the animals are an obstacle which couldn't be further from the truth.

[behindnightmaresanddreams]

"Their main agricultural export is famine" is easily the best sentence I've read in my entire god damn life.

[moniquill]

The Living Planet a Portrait of the Earth 12 New Worlds : Attenborough, David, 1926- : Free Download, Borrow, and Streaming : Internet Archi

Title from data sheet

Start at 14:20

[gaydiation-poisoning]

I hate that as Indigenous people, we have to slowly explain the concept of LandBack to basically every colonizer.

Like no we're not going to just throw you out, or put you in camps, or any of that shit. We just want to be able to take care of our ancestral land and be the ones in charge of protecting it.

Like I know these people were raised with a colonial mindset but after a while I just start to lose sympathy.

Like oh you're worried about having your home violently ripped out from under you?? What a fucking tragedy.

[femmefurina-deactivated20240814]

I wasn't gonna add to this, but like, no, I wanna add to this.

What will change for you, Whitey McWhiterson, if LandBack takes place?

Not a whole fucking lot.

You might be incentivized to switch to less-polluting modes of transportation, such as biking. Gas might be discouraged.

The environment might be prioritized.

You might become a citizen of, say, Mi'kma'ki instead of the USA.

Your kids might be taught an Indigenous language in schools.

History class would be a lot more up front.

But your day to day life? Very little will change. You're not gonna be kicked out if your house. You're not gonna be rounded up and put into a camp. You might be required to have the minimum basic decency towards the environment. It will be the Sovreign Peoples running the show.

But you, Joe Shmoe, will be left alone to live your life.

Which is more than we can say your people did for us.

[moniquill]

We're gonna make environmental regulations that might impact your business if your business sucks. We'll rezone single-family zoning areas to allow for mixed, walkable communities. We'll rewild public lands.

[glumshoe]

Wheat fields are more mystical than fields of other crops. You are 7,000 times more likely to meet an old god or see a portent of doom in a wheat field than in a field of like… soybeans.

[greatrazinsofthesunne]

For your consideration: cornfields

[glumshoe]

Cornfields are less mystical than wheat fields but more mystical than soybean fields. Two-bit monsters congregate in corn fields to eat people, but their power is nothing compared to the things that manifest in wheat fields. 

[systlin]

Have been in both wheat and cornfields; can confirm. Cornfields host monsters who eat people. Wheat fields attract old gods. 

[whadyameanhesdead]

I have a theory that this is because the notions most of us have of “old gods” are pretty intrinsically European, and wheat was (and is) the staple crop of European life. It is quite literally tied to the ancestral rituals and beliefs of most white people. Odin, the Morrigan, and even Zeus are actually linked to a set of peoples who cultivated wheat.

Meanwhile, corn (maize) is a crop native to the Americas. It features in the white cultural imagination in a very different way. Corn is a motif seen not in our ancestral myths, but in a much newer genre: the American Gothic. With its focus on the tensions between man and nature and—perhaps more importantly—the United States’s history of genocide against its indigenous population and trade in enslaved Africans, the American Gothic is VERY preoccupied with agriculture. Our monsters come out of corn fields because corn is a symbol for not only what we did to the Native Americans (who were the first to grow the crop), but of what we are doing to the very land itself. Corn is a monument to our cultural sins.

Meanwhile, I suspect that corn features very differently in the imaginations of people of color. If you asked a Native American person or a Latinx person what sort of mysticism they associate with corn fields, I imagine their answer would be very different than ours.

TLDR: White people associate wheat with our ancestors’ gods because our ancestors grew wheat. We associate corn with terrible monsters because it is a literal sign of our own monstrosity.

[moniquill]

Native American here, can confirm that small plots of corn feel safe and homey; ideally they should be interplanted with other crops. You find turkeys and possums and raccoons in the corn. It might tell you important knowledge.

However.

Giant monocultures of corn, where the corn grows unbroken for miles and miles, not near human habitation, devoid of local wildlife, just corn on corn in the soft wind? Corn mega monocultures? Those sound like screaming.

[boldlygayingwherenogayshavegayed]

European from a minority culture here: corn to me is empty. I know to some other cultures it isn’t, but corn? Corn is just a field.

Wheat fields, especially small ones, do not contain powerful Old Deities. But you can meet the Folk there, and roe deers, and pheasants, and there, sometimes, often, you will see ancient stones that are still there, and in these I see magic.

Wheat monocultures grow long and unbroken and remind me that the moor used be there, and we used to grow buckwheat, and we still tell tales of what lays there in the night, and that is where we would find Old Deities and mythical beings. Monocultures remind me that stories are an endangered species.

[feelsforsterek]

heart to heart, i summon thee anchor to anchor, return to me. bring back the one who holds my soul from the ashes, make him whole

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

okay this reminded me of the strongest human being (I use that label with some reservation) I have ever met and I still think about him like once a week because about 4 years ago on Thanksgiving night my sister, cousin, and I were going to pick up a friend about a 40 minute drive from home, and I got lost and tried to turn around on a little gravel pull-off on the side of the road, but my front tires got stuck in the snow.

we were in the middle of nowhere with no cell reception, and the only sign of life was a single, completely dark house across the road from us.

We all did our best to push the car out, and we’re strong people, but we couldn’t make it budge. Cold and stuck, we climbed back and wondered what to do. A car full of men pulled over beside us and asked if we needed help, but getting out of our locked car on a backroad at night with strange men felt like a bad idea, so we said a tow was coming and waved them along. We did that twice before finally deciding our only option was to accept the next offer for help and just risk it,

when a man came out of the house across the street.

He’d clearly been watching us and figured out why we’d been lying to people, which really surprised me & he said “it’s okay, you can stay in your car and keep the doors locked. Just start backing up when I say so.”

I had the window cracked and told him “it’s too stuck. There’s no way we’re getting out. Could you call a tow?”

And he said “just back up when I say so.”

So he walked around the front of the car, squatted, and said “okay back up,”

and I did, and

he lifted

the front of the car Into The Air. Off its front wheels, and we backed up while he essentially wheel-barrowed us back onto the road.

And we were honest to god yelling. We couldn’t help it. We just yelled until all four wheels were back on the ground and he was waving us off while we thanked him.

And then I looked at my sister and cousin & said “he REALLY told us we can KEEP our doors locked as if THAT WOULD’VE FUCKING STOPPED HIM!!!! As if he couldn’t have just RIPPED EM OFF THE HINGES.”

I later looked up the weight of my car, and it’s 3200 pounds without anything or anyone in it.

This haunts me.

[soratayuya]

the power of respecting women

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

this is the only valid response on this post

[heyokaooohshiny]

Aaauugh!! How many times do I flip to A03 during the day?!!! So many!!! My adhd/trauma brain wants its dissassociation blankie!!!!

[yourfavpunchesnazis]

you punch nazis!

(requested by anonymous)

[yourfavpunchesnazis]

[janjan-the-ninth]

Jaskier's necklace includes two ring this season unlike the one in the previous season.

I now imagine that he got the second ring from Yennefer. A parting gift from his wife, for good luck.

[whatareyoureallyafraidof]

[costlyblood]

today I recited Shakespeare to a small army of eight-year-olds

So last week an email got sent round my college asking if anyone wanted to read some poetry to primary school kids and I was the only one who responded and I asked if I could do some Shakespeare, since I have quite a lot of experience with it, and the teacher said that would be fine.

So I was discussing with friends what I should do and they said ‘er yeah, don’t do Shakespeare.’ And I was like ‘what why’ and they went ’well, maybe if they’re over 10 but otherwise you’ll just get blank looks’ and I went ‘well I don’t want to insult their intelligence’ and then another friend was like ‘hey you should do that kid’s song ‘When I Was One’, they’ll like that!!’ (it’s a really babyish song for toddlers with silly actions) and I thought about it and was ‘like nah actually, I’ll do the ‘Once more unto the breach’ speech’

So I learned that over the week, and I was walking up to the school, and the whole way I was thinking ‘Oh god this was a terrible idea they’re going to hate it, they’re going to look at me blankly like those kids in The Polar Express, my friends were right it’s going to be a disaster’, and I was there early, so I sat in the classroom for the first half an hour, got given a cupcake by some kids from a different class, said hello to some of the kids in my class, they got a look at me.

At half 2 the teacher mentioned I would be reading some poetry, and I asked if we could go outside, which she was more than happy to allow, and the kids were all so confused (‘where are we going? Isn’t it only poetry?’) and we got onto the field, the teacher got them all to stand an arm’s length apart from each other, so I could walk around them, and I did a brief overview of where the scene came in the play, how the king is on the battlefield, talking to his soldiers (“Could all you be the soldiers?” “Yes!!”) and they’re attacking the French, who are all in a castle (forgot it’s really a castle town), and they’re attacking them through a gap in the wall, the breach. Me and the teacher emphasised that if there was anything they didn’t understand, that was completely fine and they could ask me at the end. I asked the kids to watch for when I held my fist in the air, which is when they had to cheer loudly, we had a practise at that, and then I did the speech.

Everything I had been scared about evaporated. All the kids were totally engaged, they were all watching me, they all listened right the way through, I saw lots of excited faces, and they all cheered really well at the end.

Afterwards, there was a lot of chatter, several of them asked me questions (”how do you remember all those words?”, “what did you mean when you talked about nostrils?”), one boy asked me to do it again, they were all really lovely and had genuinely enjoyed it. It was so much fun, and they especially loved it when I told them how my big college friends had told me not to do Shakespeare because they wouldn’t like it. Those kids 100% proved them wrong

[xeansicemane]

This whole Titan thing is darkly funny to me because this is exactly what the first Billionaire in space escapade is going to look like.

Like, if SpaceX or Boeing ever get a space hotel up this is what is going to happen. It won't be certified by any agency because that just slows things down. Emergency beacons? Eh who needs them we just won't have an emergency. A docking port compatible with emergency rescue vehicles? Why ever would we need that just bolt people in.

Musk is going to get halfway to Mars and the engines are going to snap off his Ship Of Innovation.

[thewitchersdaily]

#THANEDD COUP IS UPON US

[heyokaooohshiny]

Geralts face in the first gif can only be Jaskier related. Or Ciri AND Jaskier related. 🤣

[wolfgeralt]

Jaskier's new song is called what

[heyokaooohshiny]

I'm aliiive for these tags 🤣