#trigger warning: csa

[magpiemoonchild]

For the Rook Tarot Game: The Hermit, The Sun & The Moon :)

TW: Brief mention of CSA

.......................

The Hermit: When Rook is alone with their thoughts, what do they think about? Is solitude a blessing or a curse for them?

Rowena does everything, and I do mean everything, to not be alone. Her mind is always full, always talking and not stopping even when she tries to sleep. This has caused some serious insomnia, so at least she's used to not sleeping when they got to the Lighthouse. She spends her days (and nights) before the Veilguard doing contracts, having flings and annoying Viago to death. At the Lighthouse she spends a lot of time with the companions, learning about them and spending time with them. She spends a lot of time with the other insomniacs as well.

The Sun: What is Rook passionate about? How do they fuel that passion?

Rowena is passionate about art, and people's wellness. When she was sold to the Crows as a child, Viago took the time to teach her how to read and write, and about artwork. She learned to draw, and now drawing and painting are her two biggest Hobbies behind contracts and reading. She often will paint and sell to Antivan aristocrats, donating the funds to the people of Treviso. She kills Venatori and saves slaves as often as she can - she remembers that life. She won't allow anybody else to experience it.

The Moon: How does Rooks past impact their values? Does their past come with any biases or blind spots they have to account for?

Rook was stolen as a child from Arlathan after her clan was killed and sold to a Magister in Tevinter. She spend the next six or so years as his slave, as his "favourite". The Magister had a specific inkling for...relations with children. After she had grown too old for his tastes, she was sold to the Crows. Her contract to become a fully fledged Crow was simply chosen - and easily done. Since then she has spent as much time as she could helping others in that situation - any slaves. Elf or not, doesn't matter. She will not let anyone - ANYONE feel the pain she felt.

[gotham-is-the-best-worst-show]

TRIGGER WARNING: CSA trauma

(Trigger warning: me projecting too hard, mention of childhood sexual abuse, feel free to not read this, I just need to vent. I’m warning you, seriously, this is bad. This is really dark)

Do you ever project onto your favorite character so hard that you get mad at people for saying something rude about your character, because your headcanon justifies them?

I started writing a story about Ed to understand his character arc more, and then it turned into processing my sexual trauma, and now I get sort of mad when people get mad at Ed for not not acting on his feelings for Oswald or being in denial over his feelings.

I headcanon that Ed was sexually abused by an adult man when he was a kid and he repressed it (I headcanon he has DID)

And he gets subconsciously triggered when he is pursued romantically (by Oswald, or Myrtle Jenkins). He likes to be the pursuer instead of the pursued, because pursuing makes him feel more in control, whereas being pursued feels scary and makes him feel helpless.

And Oswald having betrayed him and killed Isabella because he wanted to be with him triggered Ed really hard. Having his trust betrayed again, being treated more like some sort of object instead of a real person again, being helpless to the advances of a man again, made him lose it a bit.

It makes a lot of Ed's conflicting feelings about Oswald make a bit more sense.

So I get irritated when people make fun of him for being conflicted, because I want to defend him, even though it’s based on a premise that I completely made up.

I don’t like fanfics that are written as though they are blaming Ed for not dating Oswald, or are punishing him for it in some way.

I know that my headcanon is kind of random, but I guess the point is that people have trauma sometimes, okay? Sometimes they aren’t ready to confront their feelings, and they shouldn’t be punished for that.

I don’t necessarily think it’s right for Ed to consistently torture Oswald about it after already almost killing him, but I do understand his anger and defensiveness, because I know how that feels, and I know how scary it is.

[transbutterscotch-blog]

i dont know any trans ppl irl so there is no place for me to ask this but here so here i go : is it possible for sex dysphoria to be the result of childhood sexual abuse ? im a trans man who has been molested as a child and my counselor says that me identifying as a boy is somewhat an attempt to opt out of my sexual trauma. i feel very uncomfortable with this concept personally because i feel as if me being trans is unrelated to what i endured in my childhood, but id like to ask more people to get more opinions on this. 

[katicings-blog]

can lena dunham ever stop? (tw child: abuse)

fuck i hate lena dunham so much. what an obnoxious piece of shit. how do you have the gall to literally say you were "doing everything a sexual predator would do" to "woo" your baby sister and then cry foul when people call you out on that shit?

[the-blue-ribbon]

(trigger warning: discussion of childhood sexual abuse and flashbacks)

One of the harsh realities of being a CSA survivor is having to face flashbacks--and not just a passing memory, either; a nagging, constant submersion into a previous event or trauma that destroys your consciousness of the present.

Tonight, I had one of those instances. I happened to be watching a movie in the dark with a blanket over my lap--unfortunately, a comfort that happened to be a common practice during most if not all of the nights I was molested. It's a trigger that hasn't bothered me in a while, and one that I thought I had a handle on. But tonight, I was thrown for a loop and I could remember details (the layout of the room, etc) that submerged me into the setting of my abuse instead of the movie I was so excited to watch.

The important thing about events like these is to snap yourself out of it and to realize your control over the situation. If needed, change your surroundings to be more comforting to you. For me, this involved sitting on top of the blanket that was on my lap before and watching the rest of the movie with the lights on. I had to remind myself of my age, my surroundings, and of the fact that I am no longer being abused.

And a lot of times that is what it all comes down to: the reminding yourself of the fact that you are safe and in control of your body and your environment. You do not deserve these flashbacks and you have a means of driving them away.

Stay strong, my lovely followers, and I hope this was helpful.

[steptomegetburntliketoast]

so my family have finally agreed six years after she died to scatter my granny's ashes where she asked us to (were held hostage by my aunty this entire time) THIS WEEKEND because my mum suggested mother's day, which, fine, but she's like "I'd imagine you'd want to be there" because I told her I was maybe gonna be away this weekend. Yeah, I would, but the problem is I'm not talking to the rest of them just now because of shitness over me disclosing my abuse, So basically I have to choose between missing scattering my granny's ashes or sitting in a car to Glencoe with my dickhead relatives who haven't given me ANY reaction to me disclosing at all.