i think i am going to go dormant soon. its a little scary. before (vaguename event) happened there was like. 4 main alters who ran everything and then after, all of them but 1, me, went dormant.
and now ive been frontstuck for 3 months.
it just feels like.. feels like our brain is using me like a sponge to get all the remaining stress from (vaguename event) and then its gonna knock me out like everyone else. its just a weird? thing to anticipate?
we dont have much amnesia so when (if?) i come back i might not even know this is who i am. but i dont wanna be here if none of my other friends are here either. but i think the worst part is that hardly anyone will miss me.
yes, everyone else up here will, and yes our friends who know will. but we only have 3 friends who know! will i be missed? not by many. and im bad with social stuff, too. been fucking up our friendships (with ppl who dont know) so when im gone theyll probably be relieved! its times like this i wish we wouldnt have found out about having a CDD. so i could go without ever knowing and others could come after me none the wiser
