#trigger warning vent

[s3rutan]

WARNING: vent post ahead

Sometimes I miss the people who hurt me the most, because I want back my idealized version of them.

I don’t miss her, I miss my aunt.

Why’d she do that?

[exorsysm]

i think i am going to go dormant soon. its a little scary. before (vaguename event) happened there was like. 4 main alters who ran everything and then after, all of them but 1, me, went dormant.

and now ive been frontstuck for 3 months.

it just feels like.. feels like our brain is using me like a sponge to get all the remaining stress from (vaguename event) and then its gonna knock me out like everyone else. its just a weird? thing to anticipate?

we dont have much amnesia so when (if?) i come back i might not even know this is who i am. but i dont wanna be here if none of my other friends are here either. but i think the worst part is that hardly anyone will miss me.

yes, everyone else up here will, and yes our friends who know will. but we only have 3 friends who know! will i be missed? not by many. and im bad with social stuff, too. been fucking up our friendships (with ppl who dont know) so when im gone theyll probably be relieved! its times like this i wish we wouldnt have found out about having a CDD. so i could go without ever knowing and others could come after me none the wiser

[sxftriina]

TW VENT

Just a heads up... I'm probably not going to be active on anything tomorrow. My mental health is not very good at the moment. It's nothing anyone on here or anywhere else did, I just need to take a break. My 18th birthday is on Friday, and I'm not looking forward to it. I've spent the past couple of months (ever since I graduated) dreading every second up to this moment and I don't know how to calm myself down. I've tried listening to advice from friends and family but all I do is get inside my own head and make things worse for myself. I don't know if taking a break for a day will help anything, and it probably won't, but... yeah. Love you guys <3

[i-moved-blogs-ffs]

I'll make this my pinned post for a little while just so everybody knows what's going on. My navigation post will be here, just in case someone needs it.

Hello, my darlings. I'm sorry if this seems sudden, but I've just got something to say really quick.

I won't be responding to any vents that are/were sent in my inbox for a little while. I'm really, really sorry, but I'm not in the right headspace to look at or answer those asks.

I'll be doing the stuff I usually do, like writing, reblogging and chatting but I'll probably be way less responsive/talkative. I just... Feel a bit drained at the moment. ^^'

You don't have to send me any sort of uplifting messages in my inbox either. It's good to know that I may have your support, but I'll just feel like I'm sorta... Forcing you to do it.

Please note that none of you have ever or will ever bother me. I'm just going through my own shit that I have to get through before being able to help others.

CW for vent under the cut.

I'm just worried. About everything I do. Both with my online presence and in my personal life. I always feel like I'm making people uncomfortable, that I'm saying the wrong things, or that I'm making people hate me. Even if people have been nothing but kind to me, I still feel like they're forcing themselves to include me in conversations, in tag games, in posts, etc.

I spend hours rewording my posts, tags, and reblogs thousands of times because I feel like somebody will take it the wrong way. And it all gets worse with vents. I feel like I'm not doing enough, that I'm not able to help, that I just shouldn't try. But these people are actively going to me for help, so I have to try!

I want to support people, I want to help people, but I've dug myself too deep and overestimated how much I really can take. A lot of upsetting stuff's been sent to me, a confused, scared, already stressed 14 year-old girl, because I was too ambitious. And I'm sorry for that - I'm sorry for biting off more than I can chew at the moment and giving you false hope.

I'll answer your asks when I can, that's a fact, but I don't know how long it'll take for me to get back up on my feet. And again, I'm sorry for not being able to help at the moment.

But I'll say it again: don't feel bad for venting to me. I'm always happy to help, but even I can take so much at a time.

- 🌸🍭mod mikan🍭🌸

[s3rutan]

Uh TW venting and brief mention of self harm

Me when I remember I opened up to my therapist about struggling to do schoolwork and she tried to force me into going back to irl school and asking my doctor for ADHD medication instead of actually helping me not panic and scratch my arms and bite my hands until they hurt when I try to do any type of math past like 4th grade level

She also infantilized me for my anger issues and treated me like a hypochondriac but that’s a whole other thing..

[s3rutan]

TW - vent. Not really sure what specific warnings to put but. Idk parental issues?

Ever since my dad died, almost 2 months ago now.. jesus christ, its been longer than I thought- my mom seems to be growing further and further away from everyone in her life except one person. And that one person isn’t me. He drinks like he’s a fucking college student, I mean the man can’t go a DAY without drinking at least five beers.

There’s a history of alcoholism. My mom keeps spending hours upon hours at the bar, then she comes home at 3-4 AM reeking of alcohol and giggling “for no reason”.

I have to scream for her attention anymore. She won’t watch movies with me, she’s hardly been cooking, she doesn’t even watch the tiktoks I send her.

I know my dads death was hard on her, but she knew him for 16 years out of over 40. I’ve known him for 15 years out of 15.

I look like my dad. I know I do. I see his face in the mirror every fucking day and it makes me sick. I just wonder if that’s why my mom’s been avoiding me.

I don’t know why I’m posting this. I guess I don’t wanna burden any one specific person. I’ve done that enough. I just want my life to be normal again.

I want my mom back. Mom please just look at me.

[chronically-online-nerd]

Vent post scroll if you don't wanna read

When the rope is super tight around my neck but then I remember when I used to keep getting kicked out of sped programs because I wasn't "autistic enough" to need them so I lowk just kick the chair to prove that I was struggling

[fatass-adam]

I'M DONE

I'm so pissedn right niw I can't even fuicntion

I'll pick up shit tomorrow

But for today???

I'M MOTHERFUCKING DONE

Just knocked back a bottle of vodka and hope I pass the fuck OTU