#triple rainbow

[thingsfromthedirt]

✯

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #155

After I wrote yesterday's letter, but before dark, it rained AGAIN!!! And it rained for a long time!! I went outside and danced around and jumped in ALL THE PUDDLES!!! And I got soaked and the inside of my boots were all gooshy from the water, and my long black cardigan was sopping and heavy, and my hair was a wild mess, and I REGRETTED ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. It was WONDERFUL!!!

I didn't get any pictures or video of me frolicking around, but I did manage to capture this picture of a triple rainbow! There's the one in the middle, and a second rainbow juuuust below it, and another, reversed rainbow a little higher up!! Check it out!!!

...There's more to this picture, but I cut out all but the important bits, because it's probably dangerous to publicly put any picture that indicates where my house is while carrying a controversial belief such as "you, like any fallen human, are deserving of kindness and mercy". Gamers in particular can be really ah... nasty... when it comes to people having opinions different from theirs. "Nasty" to the point of stalking people and threatening them, especially if you have the misfortune of playing video games while having a body that bears a vagina. A whole big thing called "Gamergate" happened a number of years ago, and the aftermath still hasn't really faded away. And I really don't wanna get letters written in blood, or have dead animals being left at my front door. It's really sad that I gotta worry about things like this, but... this is the world I live in. Not much I can do to change it.

...Even if someone is angry enough at me for writing these letters that they would do such terrible things if they had the chance, I have no intention of stopping. I will keep writing these letters, even if, goodness forbid, it ends up costing me my life. You're worth it. You're worth the risk.

Anyway, I snagged a few other nice ones before going inside, too:

I went to bed really early last night (read: ACTUALLY ON TIME), because I tired myself out running around. When I woke up this morning, I had a terrible dream in which a shadowy figure oozed through the screen windows of our house, walked purposefully and angrily with a box cutter to where I was sleeping, with the intention of... uh... we'll leave it at "doing really awful stuff", how about that. Fortunately, I woke up when it wrapped its hand around my throat and dragged me out of the bed. I didn't get to the rest of the parts that were going to happen after that, which is really super great, since I retain full sensory faculties in my dreams, and if it had gotten to that point, I would have woken up in A LOT of pain, good grief.

...Dreams like these are just part of having PTSD to the extent that I do, I guess. It's rare that I get them anymore, though I wonder what prompted this one. Hm.

...So, though I went to bed early, I've been up since like 3 in the morning. Whoops. I browsed my phone 'til getting out of bed at like 7, and then I made a tea to try to calm my nerves a little...

This one is matcha with bits of toasted rice - one of my favorites!! I sweetened it with a little lilac syrup and some milk, and the result was absolutely lovely:

Today I worked a little more on the music box. I am trying to turn a popular rock tune into a lullaby, but I have audio processing disorder and zero understanding of music theory, hahaha! So rearranging the notes and the rhythms in ways that repurpose it while remaining mostly true to the original structure is definitely going to be a challenge. I made some good progress, but then I got to the solo, and I was overwhelmed so I stopped so that I wouldn't get burnt out; I really wanna finish this one.

I did some leisure writing until M and J left the house to hang out, as I had asked; I don't suppose you remember that song I was searching for, but never found, and so I had to rebuild the lyrics as best as I could from memory? Well, today while they were away (so that I wouldn't be self-conscious), I managed to record me singing the melody. I am going to entrust the instrumentals to a couple of brilliant musicians that I know. It's gonna be a duet; I hope it'll be something worthy of you when it's done.

Oh, and I took a walk today! I got a couple really nice pictures for you this time, I think...

I happened to catch these ones just after, as the wind rustled through the leaves, creating an opening for the sunlight to shine through:

...I really like how both of these turned out, so I included both!

And then we have fancy clouds through a tree window...

...I hope you enjoyed them. These are just done with a cellphone camera, so it's not like I can do anything especially fancy with them. But if you like them, then that's all that matters, right?

I'll write to you about tomorrow's adventures, too, so stay safe out there so that you can read about it, okay? I love you.

Your friend, Lumine

[leaveherwildliketheflowers]

Baby is perfect. Strong heartbeat and measuring right on pace at 6 + 6. I was so overwhelmed with emotion that I started crying during the ultrasound. One step closer to my healthy baby.

I have graduated from REI and my next appointment is in 2.5 weeks with my OB unless told otherwise. Please, please keep growing little one.

[utahunfiltered]

A triple rainbow over Salt Lake City, Pride weekend, 2017. Shot on an iPhone 5s.

[theotherwesley]

Triple rainbow, yo! :)

[leaveherwildliketheflowers]

One. More. Sleep.

12 hours. I have 12 hours and then I get to see my little one for the first time. I hope with everything in me that there will be a heartbeat. I know that doesn't mean much, and even a heartbeat doesn't promise a healthy baby at the end. My last three babies all had a strong heartbeat at 6 weeks. All three died. But, a heartbeat tomorrow is the next step to check off to get to a healthy, full term baby. One step at a time.

I don't know why, but I really feel deep down that this one will be different. That come January I will be holding a sweet little baby in my arms. Maybe I'm naive for being so hopeful, but hope is all I have left. I'm not alone in my feelings either. Even MIL has started referring to the baby as my daughter because she is so certain I will have a healthy little girl. We will see, but I just feel like this is it. This is my rainbow. This is where things finally take a turn. One thing I know for sure is that I deserve it and when it happens I am going to be the best mama to that little love. I can't wait to dive into the role.

[leaveherwildliketheflowers]

4 more sleeps until we see the little bean.

[disasterexp]