I'm a 'Nice Guy' and I'm trying to change.
Now I think I understand, at least a little better, why you reacted the way you did. I was wrong, I grew up believing that if I'm kind and a friend to a girl I like, she'll see that and it'll mean something more than I just want to be friends. I've always tried to become great friends with my crush and tried to develop a relationship from there. Hell, I was best friends with you for 6 years trying to turn that into a romantic relationship. I had heard the phrase 'marry your best friend,' and bought into it hard. Often I felt like I was waiting my turn to be with you, that maybe once you'd break up with your boyfriend you would want to be with me. Everytime it didn't happen it hurt and it's my fault. I was wrong to be upset with you, how were you supposed to know that I wanted to be with you. I shouldn't have expected you to see that I did. I just didn't learn my lesson and kept making the same mistake, holding onto hope. I finally told you how I felt because I thought something was starting up between us, deep down I knew it wasn't going to happen, I always knew. I kept holding onto hope that somehow you'd want to start a relationship, and that was my downfall. I truly could see us being together forever since we had been such good friends for so long, I was so naieve. I realized something the other day, women are not machines you pump kindness into and get a relationship out of. I need to apply this to my life and communicate intentions. I've gotta stop expecting girls to see that I like them and start telling them. Maybe if I would have done that at the get go with you, I wouldn't have had to end our faux friendship so shittily. I've learned my lesson, there is nothing worse in this world than being in love with someone and hanging onto hope while you know they just want to be friends.
